


Just Say It In The Middle Of The impossible

by sukarideepsoul



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst, Comedy, Drama, Drama & Romance, Family Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-07-12 04:53:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 70,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19940512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukarideepsoul/pseuds/sukarideepsoul
Summary: Aiba Masaki thought his university days were going to be so normal until he started to be friend of Matsumoto Jun and found out he was the nephew of the rector, Sakurai Sho. Not having enough, Aiba was sure Sakurai was flirting with him and he told it to his friends, who decided to help him with crazy plans, letting Masaki fall in love with his own rector.





	1. Chapter 1

How had he been able? How was his heart able to feel such things for him? How was his body able to feel such a desire because of him? How was he able to be in front of him after having done that step? Of course, he was looking at him with widened eyes. Of course, no one of them knew too well what to do. Of course, he wanted to run away from there and forget what he had done, forget everything related to him and continue his life as he had done for two years in the university. However, a part of his mind was saying it was impossible. There was no way he could forget that, what he felt, what he did, how those eyes were surprised, but also how they were somehow asking another one. Could he? Could he kiss the rector again?

*****

The music, which was played through the earphones, was motivating him to be even happier and excited. That evening he was travelling with his new friend, Jun, to go to his house and spend the weekend together. Matsumoto Jun was a cool, 22-years-old boy from fourth grade, who had long, blackish hair, almond eyes with thick eyebrows and fleshy lips. He was tall, but not more than him. Jun always wore cool clothes and was loved by everyone by his gentle, respectful personality. However, despite of being so nice, he had a dark side. When he got angry, no one dared to approach him. Less Aiba. Aiba Masaki. He was just a 20-years-old student of second grade with brown, long hair, beautiful smile and slender complexion. He had been the only one who dared to talk with Jun when the latter was almost arguing with another boy. Aiba remembered his friend was really angry because that boy was disturbing some girls and he was the only one who tried to stop him. Then, Masaki found him and calmed him down, not mattering if he was inwardly accepting the fact he could receive a punch at any moment. Even like that, Jun reacted and from that moment on, they started to talk. It was like if Matsumoto accepted the fact that only Aiba could know that dark side of his. That was why they became really close in a few weeks and somehow Aiba loved the fact he had a new friend to be with.

So because Aiba was living in the residence of the university, Jun offered him to spend a weekend in his house and have a great time together. Usually, Aiba would have rejected it because they had just begun to be friends, but he saw Jun so excited about the idea that somehow he could not say no. And that was what he was doing now, being in a bus, beside Matsumoto while going to his house because it was a bit far away of the campus. He wondered how it would be, how his room would look like, what they would do two days together. It was the first time he was going to sleep out of the residence after two years and he could not wait for it. It was like he was a kid.

Then, after a path of thirty minutes, they got out of the bus and walked a bit through a luxurious street full of houses which seemed as costing lots of millions of yen. Aiba wanted to ask him if he was rich or something alike, but he knew it was disrespectful so he tried to joke about it. “What a good life you have” he laughed naïvely and Jun turned around to look at him and show a frustrated expression. Right then, he knew something was wrong and for some reason, he felt the urge to apologize. “I was joking, I didn’t try-“

“Don’t worry, I'm used” he cut his words with a sad voice and Masaki decided to remain in silence not to continue messing the situation. Jun, meanwhile, looked down since it and he could not help but wonder why. That was how the path until his house went by so fast. “This is my house” Matsumoto said suddenly. Then, Aiba came back to Earth and observed a beautiful, modern house of two floors with an amazing garden full of plants. In the middle, a curious path of rocks defined the way to the main door, which was made by dark wood combining so well with the white structure of the house.

His friend took a few seconds to open the door and when they came inside, Aiba just could open his eyes by such a wonderful house. At first it was a small, traditional hall to leave the shoes and take a pair of slippers. Then, they continued through a hallway full of doors at both sides and at the end of it. Meanwhile, Jun was explaining each room a bit. “The first door at the left is the living room. The first door at the right is the toilet and the second, the bathroom to take a bath. The last door is the kitchen and upstairs there are the bedrooms and another toilet” he pointed out with his hand to make it easy and Aiba nodded by each room said.

After it, Jun started to walk and came in the living room. Masaki, just by curiosity, followed him and found a gorgeous space to relax. It was all white, beige and grey to contrast with the dark wood of the floor. In the middle, there were two white sofas surrounding a crystal table over a soft carpet and in front of a magnificent television. At the left, there were two big doors of crystal to come out to the garden covered by grey curtains. After, he looked at the right and discovered a long table with six chairs around it and a simple vase with flowers in the middle. Just when he walked more inside, he could figure out that one of the supposed walls beside the table was not a wall, but it was connected to the kitchen, only separating the two rooms by a bar with stools. His mind was really overwhelmed by such wonderful design and he was so mesmerized by it that even Jun patted his shoulder to make it come back.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked and Aiba nodded.

“A bit of water, please” he spoke with embarrassed voice. Then, Jun walked to the kitchen and Masaki approached, too curious to see how the kitchen was. Indeed, he was not wrong. Another luxurious room to stay. The workplaces were made of grey marble which suited so well the black cupboards and beige tiles. It was big and he leaned on the bar while watching how Jun moved through there with elegance. Indeed, that house had the power of making everything elegant and incredibly modern. A few seconds after, Matsumoto gave him a glass and he thanked him with a smile.

“Shall we go to my room and plan something to do?” he asked a bit lost because Aiba had become too silent suddenly and the younger boy usually talked a lot.

“Oh, yes. We could play that game you told me the other day” he proposed and Jun nodded excited by that. Slowly, they went upstairs and Aiba did not expect more than another beautiful hallway with four doors along it. Once again, Jun explained.

“This is my bedroom” he pointed out the first door at his left. “That’s the bathroom” then, the next door at the left. “And to end, this is my uncle's room, plus his office” his hand moved to the only door at the right and at the door at the bottom. Aiba nodded, but realized a detail.

“Uncle?” he asked surprised. And his parents?

“I live with my mother's brother since my parents died in a car accident when I was a teenager” he explained with a low voice while entering his room. Masaki kept still for a few seconds, not knowing what to say or do, but chose to come in and apologize.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know it…”

“Oh, don't worry, nobody knows. It's better like that” he smiled and that relieved a bit the guilt of asking in Masaki. And as always, Jun threw himself over his bed and that was when he realized how nice his room was. It was not as big as he expected, but even like that, at the left he had a big bed with a desk and shelves everywhere, one filled with a big television. And at the right he had a wall covered by a monstrous closet. Now he understood how he could have that amount of different clothes. Then, Aiba approached the bed and sat beside him. “I’m going to defeat you!”

*****

“Yes! I won you again!” Jun shouted while enjoying his fifth victory and Aiba threw himself on the bed defeated and without any desire to continue playing. Matsumoto just hit his butt a few times, laughing and joking until Masaki turned around and complained.

“I've never played before, you could treat me better!” he pouted like a child and his friend chuckled loudly.

“C’mon, once again!” he proposed. However, Aiba had had enough and he just remained over the bed wanting to sleep already. Then, suddenly someone knocked on the door and came in. At the next instant, Aiba sat in a hurry to show a bit of respect. Even like that, he became pale when his eyes found a well-known face in front of him. “Ah, hi, uncle Sho. I brought a friend… I hope it's okay for you” Jun seemed embarrassed abruptly and that man smiled.

“Yes, of course Jun! I'm even happy, this is the first time you take someone here” he spoke completely accepting the fact of Aiba being there and his nephew thanked him relieved. But, hastily, Masaki stood up and bowed so nervously for having such a man in front of him.

“Sir, t-thank you for letting me stay in your house, I promis-“

“Boy, there's no need to do that” the man loosened up his tie as another normal person and smiled amused by his actions. Aiba raised his head, totally flushed and out of place.

“But…” he muttered, not knowing what to do.

“Do you go to Jun's university?” he asked and Aiba nodded.

“Yes, sir” the young man replied while being so nervous.

“Oh, I see” the man realized. “Even if there I'm your rector, don't worry. Here, I'm just your friend's uncle” he replied with a nice behaviour and Masaki smiled gratefully.

“Thank you” he bowed again and that only provoked he laughed even more. Jun just patted his shoulder to make him sit and stop him from continuing overreacting. Then, Jun's uncle closed the door, leaving them alone again. At the next second, Aiba turned around and asked him explanations of why the rector of the university, Sakurai Sho, was his uncle and he did not know anything.

“It's not something I go shouting around, Aiba” Jun answered, seeming troubled. The younger man only tried to think better for five seconds.

“But why didn’t you tell me before coming here at least?” he asked, truly wondering why he kept it as a secret.

“I wasn't sure… All the people who knew about this started to use me to have good marks or be bragging around about being my friend. So I ended up not saying it…” Matsumoto lay down on the bed while looking at the ceiling. Somehow, Aiba began to understand his reasons, he even felt bad after knowing such an awful thing happened to him. That was why he lay beside him.

“All of them are so stupid” suddenly he said. Jun looked at him surprised. “You’re an amazing person despite who your family is. I like you as friend because of how you are and that's all what matters” Aiba looked back at Jun and smiled at him. Then, the older man raised his hand and waited for him to catch it and squeeze it strongly.

“Thank you” Matsumoto looked even embarrassed. Masaki only chuckled and sighed.

“You're very welcome” after that, they kept a minute or two in silence while both were thinking about their stuff and, because it was already late, Jun stood up.

“Do you want a bath and the dinner?”

*****

A good bath always felt so nice before having dinner and sleeping. He was drying his hair with a towel and tried to place it a bit normal with his fingers. Then, he got out and found Jun and his uncle in the kitchen, finishing the dinner. Aiba got a bit lost, not knowing where to put the towel, until Jun smiled at him and grabbed it. He left the kitchen with it and Aiba stayed in silence with Sakurai. He took advantage to observe him for a while, noticing how he was not wearing a suit anymore, but a T-shirt and sweatpants. Slowly, when he was focused on washing his hands, Masaki looked at his soft expression, at his brown hair, a bit long already. His jaw was defined and his lips a bit fleshy. He even found Sho being really handsome.

Then, the man glanced at him a few times amused and when he finished and was drying his hands, the rector stared at him. “Are you usually this shy?” he spoke.

Aiba flushed at the next instant and looked away. “Well… I don't know” he was truly nervous by being talking with the rector, all he had could be thrown to the trash bin if that man had a bad impression of him. Aiba needed to be the most polite person of that country if he wanted to continue his peaceful life in the university.

“Who should be nervous is me. Because after all, you're the first friend Jun brings home” he repeated as if he was really happy about that. Aiba smiled slightly, but stayed beside the door, not daring too much about being in the middle and possibly bothering Sakurai. Then, Jun returned and pushed Masaki by his back to be more in the kitchen, having to walk beside the rector, who was almost laughing. Only then, he noticed how his smile was really cute.

“C'mon, let's have dinner because I'm starving” Jun complained and both sat on two stools, ready to eat that wonderful pizza which was right in front of them.

“Boys, I will work in my office, try not to make so much noise” he asked before coming out and his nephew accepted.

“Okay, but don't stay until late!” he warned his uncle and started to devour the first piece. Aiba frowned and caught another to begin too.

“Does he work that much?” Masaki questioned, wondering if the rector pushed himself too much.

“He's a workaholic. I know the university is so important for him, but I don't want him to fall ill because of it either” Matsumoto seemed worried for a second and continued eating in silence.

“But… how old is he?” suddenly, he asked that and his friend raised his eyebrows.

“35 years old. I was born when he was barely 13” he spoke without a problem. Masaki could not help but open his mouth, a bit shocked by that fact.

“That’s awesome, you grew up like having a big brother, right?” he admitted and Jun nodded.

“As long as my parents were working, he was who took care of me, who helped me to study, who basically raised me” he explained before ending the second piece of pizza. Masaki was still eating the first, because he was still digesting this abrupt information. “When my parents died…” he started with sad voice. “I was just 16. He wasn't neither rector nor had a proper job and I know how he had to work because of me…” Jun left the pizza on his plate and kept staring at the nowhere for a few seconds.

“But he did that because he loves you. Also, look now, after working a lot, you two have no more problems” Masaki tried to see the good part of the situation and Matsumoto smiled while nodding.

“You're right. When my grandpa fell ill, Sho took over the university and since then, we can live way better, except the fact he works truly hard everyday, that's why I started to stop him from time to time” his friend finished his story and sighed. He did not look truly convinced.

“Then, what's the problem?” Masaki dared to ask.

“I've never seen him with a partner. At his age, I bet he desires to have a family and I wonder if I'm a bother in his plans” the older boy looked down and took another piece to continue enjoying the food. Masaki was left speechless because he did not know what he should say regarding that. But he only had one thing clear.

“You’re not a bother for him. The day he will find someone he loves, I'm sure he will be so happy to share it with you” he smiled to reassure him and his friend thanked him with shining eyes. After, they both stayed in silence until ending the pizza and started to tidy up the kitchen. Aiba helped him as he could and once they finished, the two friends went upstairs to go to the bedroom.

“I will prepare a futon for you, wait here” Jun went out and only then, he thought he needed to go to the bathroom. So he walked through the hallway, trying to remember what each room was unsuccessfully. He remembered the last door was the office, but he could not guess which one was the toilet so he chose the door at the right and went to open it. Unluckily, he got it wrongly and ended up in Sakurai's bedroom. But still being unluckier, Sho was going to get in the bed and was half naked without T-shirt.

Aiba wanted to die at that exact moment. He got paralyzed by the embarrassment and only Sho's voice helped him to react. “Boy, do you wan-“

“I’m so sorry!” he apologized in a hurry and closed the door as fast as he could. He leaned on the wall beside it and breathed deeply. How could he mess everything up like that? How could he be that clumsy? He opened his eyes and entered in the toilet, exactly the last door at the left. His hands grabbed the sink and his eyes looked at himself across the mirror. “Why can't you stop screwing yourself?” he sighed and looked down. Only then, he remembered the scene clearly. How the bedroom was big and beautiful, but no more than the man in front of a side of the bed removing the T-shirt and showing his naked torso. How well-built his abdominals or his muscled arms were. Masaki gulped and tried to calm himself by washing his face. What was wrong with him?

*****

Finally, he had slept the whole night straight and he felt really good. He looked at the clock and it was still 8 am. He could not sleep back, though. They went to bed early last night and now Masaki was completely awake. So he tried to wake Jun up by moving him, but his friend only babbled complains and attempted to use him as a teddy. Luckily, Aiba gave him his pillow before it was late and Matsumoto stayed hugging it peacefully. “Are you a kid?” he frowned. If Jun did not wake up, Masaki did not know what he should do. In part he wanted to have breakfast because he was starving, but in the opposite side, he did not want to come out because he was still so ashamed of the moment he had with Sakurai in his bedroom. Every time he recalled it, his cheeks went reddish and his heart beat stronger. He would hate himself until the end of his days.

That was why he decided to wait a bit for his friend to see if he would wake up. However, after half an hour calling him unsuccessfully, Aiba gave up. Jun was really asleep yet and he was really bored in that bedroom. So without any choice more, he prayed nobody else would be awake in that house and opened the door silently. It seemed as empty, without noises or people around. So Aiba smiled and walked to the kitchen to see if he could grab even just a glass of juice and return to the bedroom. Without thinking, he opened the door of the kitchen and walked in relaxedly, until he saw someone moving on a stool. He stopped hastily and started to damn his luck several times mentally. The first thing he thought about was apologizing again for having been so impolite last night.

That was why he turned around, faced that lost man and bowed. “I’m sorry for having come in your bedroom last night” he spoke nervously and raised his head when he heard a few chuckles. Then, his eyes saw how Sakurai was really amused.

“It’s evident you mistook the room, but what were you searching for?” he asked while bending the newspaper and placing it on the bar.

“The toilet…” he muttered embarrassed and still in the middle of the kitchen. Sho could not hide his amusement, though.

“It’s okay. We're both men after all” he joked and walked straight to him. “Tell me what you want for breakfast and sit down, c'mon” he patted his shoulder and Aiba felt his heart stopping. A few seconds after, he could react and walked to a stool to sit.

“Eh… Just a juice is okay, really” Masaki tried not to bother him too much. However, Sho frowned.

“That’s not a proper breakfast” he said while filling a glass with orange juice. “Eat this too. Personally, I love it” then, he approached with the glass and what seemed like a bun with cream over it.

Aiba could only smile and see how Sho sat in front of him to drink his coffee at ease. “Thank you…” he muttered a bit uncomfortable and tasted the juice. It felt so good in the morning and the bun was calling him, so he caught it and bit a small part. Only then, he noticed it was filled with chocolate and it was truly delicious. “It’s amazing!” he exclaimed suddenly.

Sho smiled. “Right? It's my favourite type” Sakurai replied happily. But after that, an uncomfortable silence appeared and Aiba felt at unease there. “And did you try to wake Jun up?” the rector tried to maintain a nice chat between them instead of just a tense ambient. And somehow, Aiba was grateful for that.

“Yes, during half an hour, but nothing. He just hugged the pillow and continued sleeping” Masaki said more relaxed and ate a bit more of the bun. Sakurai, instead, laughed and looked straight at the young man.

“Don’t even try it. He only wakes up after 10 am during weekends” he explained amused and licked his lips before taking another sip of his coffee. Masaki just stared at his lips mesmerized by some seconds until Sho glanced at him twice.

“No wonder why he skips the first class several days” Masaki improvised as he could. However, he had already a curious gaze over him. So he attempted to just act normal while eating another bit.

“And you? How are you doing?” Sakurai asked with a different bright in his eyes, one which was able to make him be nervous at the next instant. For a second, he was blank, only opening and closing his mouth without a proper answer.

“Well… I think I'm normal… I can't complain either” he smiled nervously, not amused at all, though. Sho only nodded and looked down to end his coffee and stand up. The rector surrounded the bar and walked behind Aiba, who stayed still on his stool, swallowing the food as he could.

Suddenly, a hand was placed on his shoulder and he almost jumped by the scare. “Then, continue giving your best” that hand patted his shoulder and the man left the kitchen. At the same time he knew he was alone, he breathed out all the oxygen in his lungs and closed his eyes. Why? Why was he so nervous? He thought it was normal because after all Sho was the rector of where he studied, but he should be normal already. Then, why was he not yet? Why was he still so tense and flushed in front of Sakurai? Aiba wanted to disappear from that house. Maybe that was why he ended the bun as soon as possible and drank the juice to place it in the sink after and go upstairs. He needed to be near Jun and do something so his mind would stop if it was busy.

Aiba got in the bedroom and he found Jun still sleeping as a kid embracing the pillow. Without thinking about it, Masaki threw himself over the bed to make noise and movement so, as he predicted, Matsumoto would react finally. “What the fuck…?” he asked disoriented. Aiba just placed himself over him and shook his arms.

“C'mon, get up, I'm bored” he lied. However, Jun frowned and complained while trying to cover himself even more with the sheets. Masaki only sat over him to remove them as both were laughing as two kids playing in the morning.

“It’s too early!” the older man whined with a smile. Aiba only chuckled and fell over him when Jun pulled stronger. Their heads were so close. Then, they looked at each other and laughed truly hard before Masaki could place a hand on the pillow to raise his face. At that exact moment, someone knocked on the door and it was opened. The man who got inside stopped himself when he found them on that position on the bed. Right after, Aiba moved truly flushed, praying he was not thinking he was gay or something alike, while Jun was just yawning before sitting on the mattress.

“Eh, I can tell you after if-“

“What are you saying?” Jun said amusedly. “What happens?” he asked while standing up only dressed with his boxers to take clean clothes from his closet.

“It’s just asking if you're going to have lunch or dinner here” Sho leaned on the threshold as he was wearing a T-shirt and trousers. Aiba admired how changed he seemed each time he wore different clothes. He seemed really young sometimes despite he was 35 years old.

“Lunch yes, but don't worry, I was thinking of two cups of noodles. For dinner no because we have a party” Jun commented to his uncle with a smile, already dressing a pair of black trousers, a white tank top and a green, opened shirt. However, when Masaki observed him, he only thought he was really cool and changed his gaze to that mature man, who was still there, chuckling lowly.

“A party?” Sho raised his eyebrows.

Only then, Aiba returned to Jun while frowning. “A party? You haven't said any party!” the younger man complained while standing up and leaning his hand on the desk. Jun only looked at him with an amused smile.

“I'm saying it now” he shrank his shoulders and patted his arm. “It will be really funny” then, he approached to his ear. “Full of girls and alcohol” Jun winked to him, trying to convince Aiba to go there and have a lot of fun. However, Masaki gulped and glanced at Sho, who was amazed by the confidence of his nephew.

“Jun, he seems as not interested” Sakurai chuckled before turning around, ready to walk away. “Whatever you will do, don't come back too late and be careful” the rector advised them and disappeared from the door. Then, Aiba bit his lower lip, not knowing what to do. Parties were not his strong charm point and he usually ended up not enjoying the ambient, but at the same time, Jun was truly desiring to go. So for that reason, he decided to give it a try.

“Okay, I will go, but let's not stay until the sunset like the last time, please” he asked with tired eyes and Jun celebrated it.

“Promised! We will be here before 3 am” Matsumoto assured.

“That's already too much for me…”

*****

The music was really loud in that party, which was in a nightclub with dozens of people there. It was dark, only illuminated by frenetic lights of different colours. The heat was almost unbearable there by how everyone was so close and he wondered why he was there. He had a drink in his hand, but it was full because he did not desire any alcohol. However, Jun had really insisted in at least taking one and Masaki accepted. Then, in the middle of the crowd, they were dancing with strangers while everyone seemed as drunk. When he wanted to realize it, Jun was beside a girl, kissing her even if they had just met in the dance floor. Aiba only sighed and wondered why he was always the first one to get a girl with whom to spend a good time.

Nevertheless, that night seemed as his lucky day because suddenly, a pretty girl, with long hair wearing a red top with tight trousers, approached him to smile at him and touch his face. Masaki grabbed her waist with a hand and they started to dance together, close and getting hotter there. Slowly, the girl caught his face to get closer and kiss his lips lustily. Aiba tried to enjoy that because that was an achievement for him after some parties being alone. However, when he closed his eyes to deepen it, his mind projected the image of one man smiling at him. Sakurai Sho was there in front of him. And Masaki got so scared of his own thoughts that he broke the kiss quickly and did a step backwards, rejecting the girl unconsciously. Because of that, that person got annoyed and went away without a single word. The young man only cared about the fact of having thought about Sakurai while kissing a girl, though. And he wondered why. Why not only with a man, but exactly with the rector. Was he sick? Or maybe there was something strange in his glass. But for sure he was not normal at that moment. So without thinking, maybe like that he was going to be able to kiss a girl normally, he drank plenty of the alcohol he had in his hand and, even if it burned his throat, he needed to null his mind or he would become crazy if Sho appeared in his thoughts again.

So without thinking, he started to drink his glass until ending it. But he was still feeling okay, so he approached the bar and asked for a swallow. His fingers caught the small glass and he drank it at once. He closed his eyes and expulsed the air from his mouth heavily. Then, he asked for another. And his hand repeated the steps. Now that he was already feeling quite dizzy and with zero embarrassment, he approached a group of girls near and started to dance beside them. Slowly, as easy as that, one of them got closer to him and he smirked satisfied. She was better than the last so being really impatient, he grabbed her waist and kissed her lips. Being sure this time would be okay, he closed his eyes, but being worse than before, he imagined the person who was kissing him was Sho. Scared by that development, he broke the kiss really shocked and having bad luck, the girl was truly annoyed and slapped his face. Aiba could only touch his burning cheek and breathe hard. What was happening to him? Instead of being annoyed by not getting a girl, he was really shocked about the fact of imagining such things with his rector. Because of that, he was desperate and trying the last step, he approached the bar again and ordered a tequila.

Not having a proper idea of how it was taken, he just watched a person beside him drinking it and he repeated what he had done. His tongue licked the salt over his hand, then he drank the tequila, which burned his throat as nothing before, and as last he sucked the lemon. Because of the intensity, his eyes were watery, but that did not stop him from asking another glass of vodka. He caught it and attempted to dance around, to have fun there, to seem as enjoying that. But he was only drinking as a stupid and started to feel really sick and dizzy.

The only solution he thought about was searching for Jun and asking for his help. He moved as he could through the crowd there and right when his eyes started not to see, finally Masaki found his friend still kissing the girl of before. Although they were in the middle of it, Aiba did not care and just crashed with him because his balance was zero to tell him he needed fresh air. In the moment Jun turned around and discovered his friend almost fainting and sweating a lot, he caught the glass from his hand, left it where he could and put his arm around him to help him to get out of there as soon as possible.

A few seconds after, they were in the street, which was full of young people continuing the party there too. Jun did not care and not walking away too much, he sat Aiba on the floor. “What the fuck, Aiba?! How much have you drunk?!” he asked while his hand was drying his forehead by how hard he was sweating. The younger man only breathed really hard and blinked several times because his eyes could not almost see.

“I… Maybe two drinks, two swallows, a tequila…” he spoke difficultly and when he looked up, Masaki saw how Matsumoto widened his eyes.

“Why have you drunk that much when you never do it?!” he yelled at him really scared. “I will call my uncle to help me” in the moment he mentioned him, Aiba panicked and grabbed his clothes. Exactly with the bad timing his stomach was contracted and he vomited on the floor a big quantity of all he drank that night. He started to cough a lot, but somehow he felt way better. Nevertheless, after that, he could not anymore and leaned his back on the wall while hearing how Jun was asking his uncle to pick them up. Even if his desire to stop him was uncontrollable, his body could not move at all. Even if Jun, when he hung up, was hitting his cheek slightly saying not to sleep, he was unable to open his eyes. He wondered for last time if he was going to wake up.

*****

Something was soft under his back and head. He moved slowly to stretch his body, but at the next second he regretted it because a hard pain filled especially his head. He wanted to die only because of that, however when his eyes were opened, the real hell started for him. The hangover he had that morning was really horrible and Masaki was already hating himself for what he did last night. Drinking as crazy just because he could not focus on the girls… Now he was paying the price of having been so stupid and he was learning for next time. He did not like parties or alcohol, how could he have been able to end up like that?

Not wanting to think too much about that, he did the effort, or better said the miracle, of sitting on the bed. Then, his eyes observed better the bedroom he was in and discovered it was not his. But Jun's. So that meant last night, Sho went to take them and he ended up in his house. And at the same time, that meant that Sakurai had seen him in such a lamentable state. Only then, he was really knowing that feeling of wanting to be dead by the shame in him. Masaki was truly regretting how he could not think at all sometimes. And more the consequences, because now he had to get out of there and face Jun and Sakurai. Give them explanations. Apologize for having caused so many troubles. It was the least he could do, though.

So being brave or just mentally broken, he decided to stand up and handle that dizziness to walk outside of the bedroom. First, he decided to go to the toilet and see how his face was. As he thought he was horrible. Big, purple eyes bags and messy hair. His mouth still stank of alcohol so he tried to wash his face, brush his hair and clean his teeth as much as possible to look normal. Then, he breathed deeply and made the step of going downstairs and heading to the kitchen. Expecting to find Jun, his hopes were broken when his eyes found Sho there, reading a newspaper as every morning it seemed.

He stayed on the threshold, ashamed and scared of his reaction. A few seconds after, Sakurai noticed him and raised his head, bending the newspaper to place it on the table. Against all odds, the rector smiled at him as warm as the last morning and stood up. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” he even asked. Aiba was feeling worse with himself and the first thing he thought of answering was a sincere apology.

“I’m so sorry for what I did last night…” he bowed, really tense and nervous. Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder and when he raised his head, he found Sakurai right in front of him with serious expression.

“I could scold you for that. I could tell you how scared Jun was to make you feel guiltier. However, I know you've learned. So c'mon, let's have breakfast instead” Sho spoke with a husky voice, but at the end softer. Masaki faked a smile and nodded, still being shameful for that. He went to sit on a stool and Sakurai prepared him a glass of juice and a painkiller. “I think you need this” Aiba caught it and knowing he was right, he took it before drinking the first liquid which did not contain alcohol since last night. It really felt good and his body thanked him for it.

However, Aiba was also hungry, even if he did not know how after vomiting. So daring to be that cheeky. “Mr. Sakurai, may you give me another bun of yours, please?” he asked so politely that Sho hid his amusement when they looked at each other.

“Do you think you deserve it?” he asked while raising his eyebrows.

“Well… Not much, but…” he pouted, knowing he was losing.

Amazingly, Sakurai opened a cupboard and caught one. “Only because you were really cute while asking it” he excused himself and gave it to him. Aiba stayed with his mouth opened for a few seconds. Had he just said he was cute? His heart was racing. How was that possible? Masaki could only gulp a bit of saliva and start to eat the bun in silence as Sho sat in front of him to end his coffee.

Then, because the curiosity attacked him, Aiba found his courage to speak after such a comment. “And where is Jun?” he frowned, realizing he was nowhere in that house. Sho only nodded.

“He has gone out to buy some groceries I asked him. He will be back soon” the rector answered not too into the subject and Aiba did not try to continue it either. Not as Sho did. “He’s really angry with you” his comment put him nervous again. How could he calm Jun down? After all, he had the right to be angry with him…

“I messed his night after all…” he muttered feeling guilty. Matsumoto had desired to spend the night with a woman for a long time and exactly when he was getting it, Aiba fucked it all. No wonder if he would not like to go out with him again after last night…

“It's not because of that. When I arrived with the car, he was really scared of your condition. Especially because you fell asleep and he thought the worst. He was only blaming himself in the car way back” Sho told to Aiba with serious expression. Or better said, with sad face. Then, Masaki spoke kind of bothered with himself.

“And why do you tell me this?” his eyes reflected how bad he was feeling with all of that and Sho only licked his lower lip.

“Because I know he will only complain about the girl” he stood up after that and walked to the sink to leave the cup there and went away. Masaki turned around, wanting to talk more with him, but at the same time, he knew it was impossible. That was why he kept staring at the bun. Was it possible his feelings were being harder than he thought regarding Sakurai?

At that moment, he heard the main door closing and he got ready mentally to bear Jun and his scolds. So because he was carrying the groceries, Matsumoto entered the kitchen straight and found Aiba eating the bun slowly. The younger man turned around and to face him with regretful eyes. Jun only sighed and approached to hug him tightly, not giving him time to think why. Aiba just embraced him back, taken aback by that.

“I'm glad you're okay… I'm sorry for not having paid attention to you last night…” he spoke beside his ear and Aiba hid his face on his shoulder to dry two tears which wanted to fall.

“No, it's not your fault. Who's sorry is me. I should have been more careful instead of that stupid” he spoke with low voice. Jun only rubbed his back as trying to comfort him.

“It’s okay. The important thing is that you're fine” his voice sounded happy and Aiba laughed.

“Well, fine, fine… The hangover is killing me” both chuckled while breaking the hug. Slowly, Matsumoto caressed his face while shaking his.

“You deserve it somehow” he commented really amused and Aiba nodded as agreeing. Then, when Jun moved to tidy the kitchen, he found Sho observing them with a dark gaze. Masaki frowned, but that did not impede uncle and nephew to start to talk about their things there as if Aiba was not there, which made him feel a bit left aside. However, he just remained there with his bun, in his world, thinking a bit of nothing.

Suddenly, Jun asked him. “What do you want to do today?” it was just a naïve question, but Masaki looked tired because of his condition yet.

“I have to come back to the residence and study because soon final exams will arrive” he replied, even if he wanted to spend more time with Jun, he also knew perfectly his obligations in the university.

“If you don't pass them, it will be a problem for you” suddenly, Sho commented with serious voice while moving around the kitchen placing stuff. Aiba saw how Matsumoto frowned and that made him frown too. What was wrong with him to say that?

“Don’t worry, uncle. He's excellent in exams” his friend helped him as Aiba remained in silence and Sho could only nod and continue his task without a single word more. Jun shook his head with frustrated expression and grabbed his friend's hand. “C’mon, let's take the bus, that I want to chat with your roommate too” he persuaded him, but Masaki first took the bun to end it meanwhile.

They went to Jun's room and he started to change clothes while Aiba was eating. “I’m sorry for that stupid comment. Sometimes-“

“Don’t worry” Masaki replied even before letting him end. It was not like he was offended. Better said he was wondering why that change of behaviour. So when they finished and were ready to go back to the campus, they went downstairs to say goodbye to Sakurai and Masaki kept observing his response being focused.

“Thank you so much for having allowed me to stay and sorry for all the troubles I caused” Aiba bowed politely and Sho, who was in the living room, approached to the hallway, which made the younger man feel uncomfortable.

“Don't worry, you can come whenever you want” he said while leaning on the threshold and only then, Aiba realized how the clothes he was wearing made him look really hot and sexy. He gulped and nodded with a shy smile.

“Okay, time to go” Jun broke that weird moment and Aiba could notice that Sakurai did not stop looking at him until he went out of the house. He could feel uncomfortable or amazed by such a blatant behaviour considering he was the rector of the university where Aiba was studying. However, Masaki was wondering why instead. Why that comment or that gaze. Why Sho was behaving like that with him. And why he was liking it. He spent the whole path in the bus thinking about him and why. He could not get him out of his mind at all. Aiba was already so frustrated by the fact he was unable to stop. Why did his mind love to torture him? Because now he wanted to come back as soon as possible to meet him again and chat once more about some trivial subjects. Everything was interesting if it was said by Sho. And Masaki could not help but bite his lower lip as his body was feeling a strange tension inside of it. What did that mean?

*****

Already back in the room of the residence, he opened the door, which was unlocked and that meant his roommate was there, and he came in followed by Jun, who wanted to spend the afternoon there. They both greeted Ohno Satoshi, a 21-years-old boy who was studying second year too; orange, short hair, sleepy eyes, thin complexion and a nice, peaceful attitude. He was on his bed, beside his best friend Ninomiya Kazunari, a newbie from first year. Only 19 years old, but he was already trying to seduce Ohno to make out. His cute face hid very well his sharp tongue. Aiba really liked that boy so he did not mind they were there as free show to watch. Jun knew them too, but he was closer to Ohno.

“Hey! Have you spent a good weekend?” Satoshi asked as he was being attacked by a cuddly boy. Ninomiya ended up hugging his friend by behind while playing a game boy in front of Ohno. Meanwhile Jun and Aiba sat over the younger man's bed.

“It was normal…” Masaki tried to be silent in front of Jun because he needed help, but his friend could know nothing about that.

“Don't lie. Yesterday he fainted in the street because of how much he drank” Jun spoke up without hesitation and Aiba could only sigh and lie down just not to see their faces.

“Are you stupid?” Ohno asked him at the next second. Ninomiya, for first time, sat beside his best friend and commented too.

“If you never drink, why did you?” he turned off the game boy and left it on the bed. Only then, he felt the pressure of talking. Everyone was waiting for him to tell them and Jun was just looking at him, willing not to say a word to help him.

“I got rejected by a few girls and I didn't control it” he excused with an arm over his eyes.

“I don't even know why you bother to do that if it's way better to let it happen naturally” Ninomiya gave his opinion as sharp as he knew and received a hit by Ohno. Masaki just glanced at them and stopped them with a move of his hand.

“It's not needed. I learned. I give up with girls. I will be forever single” he joked. After that, the other three people there started to talk about their lives. Matsumoto asking Ohno about how he was doing, asking Ninomiya how his plan of conquering Satoshi was going. Masaki only stayed there, seeming as sleeping, but actually listening to everything. That was why when Jun decided to return home and he told him, Aiba stood up to follow him outside of the bedroom, leaving the door almost closed. He was going to talk, however Jun stopped him and approached the door to see through the small space it was opened. Aiba approached too to check it out and he found Ohno and Ninomiya kissing on his bed.

“I knew it” Matsumoto whispered satisfactorily. Aiba just patted his shoulder to ask about that. “I truly read people when they want to be together. Ohno finally fell” he chuckled and separated from the door. “Well, I will see you tomorrow” Jun said goodbye and the younger man answered him still taken aback for all what was happening. He saw how his friend went away and decided to go inside, seeming like finding them in the middle of that, but actually truly knowing what they were doing. They only moved hastily, not knowing how to react.

“I need to go to the toilet” suddenly, Ohno said and went away completely flushed, leaving them alone. Masaki only sat on his bed and looked at Ninomiya.

“You got him, right?” he smiled happy for them and Kazunari returned a cute smirk while his eyes were looking down.

“Thanks you were out yesterday, we did it and since then, he's truly nice now…” the small boy commented satisfied. Both started to laugh, as understanding perfectly how amusing that situation was.

“You never give up” Masaki looked at him while raising his eyebrows.

“No” Ninomiya smirked. “So I want to know the truth about yesterday, Aiba. They may believe that about girls, but I know it's another thing” he exposed his thoughts and Aiba widened his eyes, beginning to sweat. How could he know? Should he tell him?

“I said the truth, Nino. I don't-“

“Tell me before Ohno will come and at least I will know if I can help you” Kazunari tried to convince him and Masaki bit his lower lip. Could he tell Ninomiya about Sakurai? Would Jun mind if he revealed his secret to his friend?

Masaki stood up to sit beside Kazunari and start to tell him what happened just in two days. “Did you know Jun's living with his uncle?” he asked and his friend shook his head. “Me neither. Well, it seemed his uncle is the rector of this university, Sakurai Sho” he confessed with low voice, observing how Ninomiya widened his eyes. Even he could not imagine all of that. “He’s only 35 years old and I've seen him without a T-shirt and oh my-“

“Wait, wait. Since when do you like men?” Ninomiya asked kind of lost.

“Since I don't know, but you don't know what abdominals…” Aiba started to comment and when he realized his own words, he got really flushed and tried to come back to the main subject. “What I was saying. He was really nice with me and I ended up thinking about him while I was kissing girls in the club, that's why I drank more and more because I wanted to tell myself I want a girl, not the rector. But it was impossible” he looked at Ninomiya troublesomely and his friend just opened his mouth to say something. However, he was speechless and Aiba needed to continue by how nervous he was. “When I fainted, Sakurai came to help Jun and when I woke up today, I found him in the kitchen and he did not stop looking at me. He even approached to say goodbye with those eyes that…” he stopped to breathe and cover his face really affected every time he remembered that farewell. How he had desired to stay and use that bed Sho had with him. “I’m so sick, Nino. What do I like from a 35-years-old man?!” he asked already panicking and Kazunari grabbed his shoulders.

“From what I understood, his abdominals” he spoke with serious face. “So are you telling me that aside of liking the rector, he's even flirting with you?” Ninomiya summarized briefly and Aiba nodded. “I don't want to be mean with you, but…” he moved while looking down.

“I swear it, Nino. He was so weird with me” Masaki tried to convince him. And in the middle of that moment, a voice surprised them both by behind.

“Who was weird?” Ohno threw himself over Aiba's bed. Both friends looked really troubled. However, Ninomiya spoke.

“Aiba is convinced that the rector-“ he could not talk more because the taller man covered his mouth while panicking. How was he able to say it that easily? He did not tell him those things to be spoken up around.

“The rector what?” Ohno persuaded them again. Kazunari got to be free and said it clearly.

“That he's flirting with Aiba!” he could end his sentence before Masaki could shut him up again and Satoshi widened his eyes.

“Aiba, drinking is so bad for your head” he laughed, still amazed by such a thing.

“It's not that!” he refused bothered with the couple, one for saying it and the other for not believing him. “Sakurai is Jun's uncle and he was really weird with me” he confessed again, already thinking that was really useless. However, Ohno frowned and sat.

“What do you mean with weird?” his curiosity appeared and even Ninomiya joined that chat to know the details.

“I was over Jun on his bed and Sakurai found us. He thought we were…” he said that example which both of them laughed at. “Okay, Jun and I hugged and Sakurai looked at us as angry. He after said even a rude comment and Jun was really bothered by that” Masaki proposed another situation and this time Ninomiya frowned.

“What I wonder is how much Jun and you have done” he chuckled followed by Ohno and Aiba only punched his arms.

“He called me cute…” suddenly, he confessed lowly. At that moment, both of them stopped their laughter and looked at him.

“What have you said?” Satoshi asked believing to have heard wrongly.

“I asked a bun to have breakfast and he said he was giving it to me because I was being cute…” Aiba looked down full of embarrassment as the couple looked at each other.

“Well, you're cute, he might mean it as just a father's comment” Ninomiya tried to find an excuse, an explanation. Even Ohno approached to sit beside him.

“No… That seemed as provoking me… It was so tense” he explained as he could. Both friends stayed in silence for a few seconds until Kazunari clapped his hands.

“I have a plan”

*****

“What the fuck are we doing here?” Aiba complained. After four days of mystery regarding Ninomiya's plan, they were finally doing the first step. However, Masaki did not understand anything of why they were in the teachers hallway, where the rector's office was the last room of it. The young man was really nervous because if they kept there for long time, they might be seen by Sakurai and that was the last thing he wanted. After two years only having met in the chats he did to the whole university, meeting in the hallway right after having gone to his house was quite evident. That was why Aiba tried to go away, but Ninomiya and Ohno did not allow him to.

“This step is the most important one, so stay here and look as just accompanying us to talk with a teacher, okay?” Kazunari calmed him down, also telling him orders to focus on and Aiba frowned.

“Why would I?” he asked. Nobody had told him the plan before doing it so now he did not know anything about it. What were they trying?

“Because if he appears, we won't seem as stalking him” Ninomiya explained and that was the last detail Masaki needed to turn around and attempt to escape. However, Satoshi grabbed his arm.

“But if it's exactly what we are doing!” he exclaimed lowly not to be heard by the people walking around. Kazunari approached him while Ohno was checking if Sakurai appeared.

“Just do what I tell you. We're going to talk with a teacher so act as that. We will see how he reacts when he will see you” his explanations seemed even more crazy than the actual plan and Aiba pointed out.

“And how do you know when he will appear?” his question was like a win for him, until Satoshi answered.

“Why do you think it took us four days to do it? We checked the hour he goes out” his words impacted him more than they thought and Masaki moved his hands as having enough.

“You're crazy. It's confirmed, I have two mad people as friends…” he rubbed his face with both hands. Ninomiya just looked at his watch and grabbed his waist.

“It's time, he will go out now. So tell us if you want us to do it and give you a chance to discover why he's behaving like that or not” his friend spoke seriously. At first, Aiba did not want to be that reckless, treating that as a game of chasing people and spying. But after Ninomiya's words, he really wanted to know what was wrong with Sakurai. So just because there was something inside of him that was telling him to stay and follow them, he accepted resignedly and his friends went to call a teacher to talk about a lesson. Aiba just did as Kazunari had told him, he stayed there as listening to what the teacher was saying to his friends.

And suddenly, as they had predicted, Sakurai Sho opened the door of his office a few meters away from them and the young man tried to continue focusing on the talk, but somehow his eyes betrayed himself and glanced at that man. Masaki moved nervously while gazing down when he found Sakurai staring at him evidently. He wondered why, why that tension was back, why he was desiring to approach and talk. But especially he wondered why his desire became true when Sho walked to him and greeted him.

“Hello, Aiba. What are you doing here?” his tender voice was back as always and the boy could do nothing else but smile and follow Ninomiya's plan.

“Hi… I'm just accompanying my friends to talk with a teacher” he pointed them out, who were already thanking the teacher because they had ended already. Then, both Satoshi and Kazunari bowed to the rector and stayed beside Aiba.

“Can I know your names?” he asked nicely, as caring about every student in that university, but Masaki could notice how Sho kept glancing at him from time to time.

“I'm Ninomiya Kazunari and he is Ohno Satoshi” he introduced both of them with a fake smile, which was recognized by Aiba, and Sakurai nodded interested.

“Nice to meet you” he bowed slightly and the two students had to bow back. “Also, Aiba, have you seen Jun today?” he asked as changing the subject naturally and Masaki nodded.

“Yes, but he told me he was going back home because he had to study a lot” the taller boy spoke with naïve voice as if he was forgetting about the plan. He could only observe him and enjoy those brief minutes talking with him again, yearning for breaking that space between them…

“Skipping classes won't help him either…” Sho shook his head while looking away and Aiba felt how he needed some reassurance.

“He’s doing great, don't worry for one day” he smiled warmly, not noticing how friendly he became in a second and he got flushed suddenly when Sakurai smiled back at him tenderly.

“Okay” he answered briefly, but somehow placing them both in a weird bubble, or maybe it was just Aiba's sensation, because he was really mesmerized by him. Nevertheless, the ring sounded and broke that moment. “Well, don't be late, c'mon” Sakurai invited them to go class and the three boys bowed before beginning to walk fast through the hallway, Satoshi and Ninomiya being speechless by such a situation. So that they ran to hide themselves behind a corner and catch Aiba, who was surprised.

“What-?!”

“He wants sex” Ninomiya said right before letting him end even his question. Aiba widened his eyes and shook his head and hands at the same time, panicking by that sudden accusation.

“What are you saying?!” he started to walk, not waiting for them at all, not wanting to hear that, not awaking hopes in him, much less hopes as having sexual affairs with the rector. He was not going to allow that.

“C'mon Aiba! He was mesmerized by you! It's exactly how I look at Satoshi every time I want sex” Ninomiya spoke without control and Masaki could only stop, turn around to observe how dared he was. Then, as last resource, he looked at Ohno, who shrank his shoulders.

“What can I say if he's right?” unexpectedly, his another friend agreed with Kazunari and Aiba did not know what to think anymore. His mind was almost bursting and he was just so lost. So for some reason, he just leaned his back on the wall while looking down at the floor.

“Was he that evident?” he questioned with low voice, as if he was starting to accept they were right and Sakurai was truly flirting with him. He was still too naïve plus he had only gone out with women, so his experience was zero to be able to judge if that really had those intentions.

“Since he went out of his office, he was looking at you” Satoshi added with worried eyes while one of his hands was leaned on his shoulder to comfort him. Aiba raised his gaze to see how sincere he was being. There was no way they would tell him such things if they were not sure.

“Jun’s question was a trap to talk with you” Ninomiya remarked. “I don't know if he's a pervert or he really likes you as a proper man, but by how he was absorbed by you, I think he's so into you” he continued giving his opinion and messing Aiba more and more. He could not believe that was happening to him. Aside from Sho was fifteen years older, he was the rector and all of that could cause him problems in his job. It was not like he did not notice that tension or that desire to talk with him, but he never expected to like a man as Sho.

“What can I do?” suddenly, he asked with dubious eyes, reflecting perfectly his insecureness. Ninomiya approached and caressed his left cheek.

“I don't know, but we're here to help” he smiled at his friend and Masaki nodded with an emotional grimace. At least, he was lucky to have two amazing friends to help him. And breaking that moment, his phone started to ring. Frowning because he had no idea of who could be, his fingers caught it and it was when he saw Jun's name in the screen.

“What's up, dude?” he answered, feeling bad for some reason after feeling like that with his uncle. Satoshi and Ninomiya approached to hear the chat too.

“I was wondering if you would like to spend again the weekend with me” Matsumoto asked with happy voice. Masaki widened his eyes and was going to reject the plan, but hastily, his two friends stopped him by shaking their hands and nodding their heads as signal of accepting the propose. Aiba gulped, not knowing what to do. However, suddenly his mind asked itself if he wanted to see and talk with Sho again.

“Of course! I'd love it, Jun” he accepted without thinking and, aside of Ninomiya and Ohno celebrating it, Jun sounded really excited about it.

“Okay! Wait for me as the last Friday in the bus stop at the same hour” Matsumoto confirmed and Aiba agreed. Then, they said goodbye and hung up. At the next second, the taller boy closed his eyes, already regretting that plan. Regretting having followed their advices.

“It's the proof you need” Ninomiya commented. “Try to be alone with him and go as hard as possible” his plan started to be too hardcore for Aiba, who thought his friend had begun to be totally crazy.

“Of course, and I suck him off as gift. You're sick!”

*****

Once again, he was going to stay in Jun's house the whole weekend and his nerves were just damning his friends. It was all their fault with their crazy plans and tactics to know what Sho felt for Aiba. The latter did not want to know it, because after all they were student and rector, what they were trying to do was forbidden. However, even knowing that, Aiba was unable to accept that he was attracted by Sakurai. He was admiring how good-looking he was in a suit or in informal clothes; how nice he was with him or how smart he seemed when they maintained a chat. The thing he liked the most was talking with Sho. And it was a pity they could not do it more often or at least just like another normal thing between them. Because every time Sakurai looked at him, Masaki just got mesmerized by those charismatic eyes.

That was why he had decided to spend the weekend being as far from him as possible, so, as Ninomiya predicted, if Sho felt something for him, he would chase him and they would have the perfect proof he wanted something. Otherwise, if Aiba did not approach and Sho just remained like that, they would understand the rector was only being nice without any attempt of going further with a student. And even if Aiba thought at first they were crazy for having done that plan and he was stupid for having accepted it, a part of him was desiring to know what would happen between them. If Sakurai was feeling something for him too.

Then, arriving already in that bus he knew beside his friend, Masaki's heart was about to explode by the nerves, what would happen? How would he react? For some reason, he was yearning for another moment alone with him, without Jun near to be themselves carelessly. It was the first time he was feeling something alike inside of him and he was pretty lost about the step he should take, and more if the other person was the rector of the university. He was sure his mind was still unable to understand all the problems he could have if Sakurai would end up annoyed by his behaviour. His dream of ending his career would be broken by his most primitive instincts and Masaki took the decision of being 100% sure of Sho's feelings and intentions before doing anything or saying more than he should.

So ready to overcome that, Jun and he got out of the bus and walked through that street he started to know. Already in front of the main door, Aiba was relaxed because last Friday, Sho arrived way later than them, so for now he was safe there. However, when they entered the house, Jun spoke a greeting and a man answered from the kitchen. The younger boy started to panic, especially when they had to walk to that room and show that person Masaki was there and he would stay those two days again. Once more, they met. Two pairs of almond eyes looked at each other in a tense ambient. Sakurai smiled, then, and approached to greet him properly, exactly with that sensual aura proper of when Aiba was near. The latter could only bow and spoke a hello with low voice.

“I hope you don't mind he will stay another weekend” Jun commented to his uncle and the latter nodded with a smile.

“No problem. I'm happy you found a good friend” Sakurai answered nicely and slowly, he put his eyes on Masaki, who remained in silence, more nervous than happy about hearing that. Then, Jun went to take two glasses of water so they would spend the evening together and he left Masaki alone with the rector, who was still observing him as if he was a pervert man. “I'd like just to ask you not to drink that much again” he pointed out with a charismatic grimace. Aiba did not have any other choice rather than looking up and smiling. He was hating the fact of having to fake that, but at that moment, he just wanted to go away and disappear.

“Don't worry, we won't go to a party this time” Jun laughed and gave a glass to Aiba, who took it and right after, turned around to get out of there. Luckily, Matsumoto followed him as something normal and they went upstairs to his bedroom. Finally, he could drink plenty of water and relax. The tension Sho provoked in him was not normal. Aiba was really lost about how he could get a proof in two days if he was not able to even look at his eyes. Ninomiya's plan was starting to fail and he did not have anyone around to ask for advice. After all, it was impossible he would tell Jun; how would he understand he liked his uncle? It was too crazy even for him.

“Shall we play games?” his friend asked with a smirk and Aiba nodded confident.

“I’ll win you this time” he commented, trying to challenge Jun.

“Let’s see that!”

*****

“Aiba” a soft voice called for him, but his eyes did not want to open. “Aiba, wake up…” that voice continued talking and he felt how a hand was placed on his arm to shake him gently. Then, the sleepy man woke up lazily, thinking Jun was really persistent that morning. However, when he opened his eyes, he found a curious face smiling at him. Masaki almost had a heart attack when he realized that person was Sho. What was he doing there? Why were he calling him? Where was Jun? He was so lost that his eyes could only watch how that man opened the window whilst he sat on the bed, trying to focus a bit.

“Where's Jun?” he asked as his hand was rubbing his left eye. It was quite embarrassing, but he was more worried about being alone with him.

“I sent him to buy some groceries and he told me to wake you up if he hadn't returned before 11 am” Sho explained nicely as always and Aiba nodded. The plan of Ninomiya could be done at that moment, but Masaki did not feel brave enough to make any step there. Also, because he did not know what he should do. So he just bowed to be polite and removed the sheets to stand up. However, suddenly he found a problem between his legs. He panicked and remained sat on the other side of the bed, with Sho behind him. He wanted to cry, why was that happening to him? Why did he deserve that?

“Are you okay?” hastily, the rector was beside him, asking that naïvely and Masaki was so scared that he faced him harshly, uncovering what he was hiding. At that moment, he saw how Sho glanced at it and widened his eyes. Instead of laughing or setting aside as Masaki expected, Sho stayed there, staring at it taken aback.

Abruptly, the rector licked his lower lip and Masaki understood what that meant. Instantly, he moved to stand up and walk beside him. Without a single word, he went out of there and locked himself up in the toilet. Then, he looked down and wondered what he should do. Ending there or trying to calm it down with cold water. Masaki realized water could have helped if Sho had not been there licking his fluffy lip. Now, he was even hotter and his body was begging him to be released. That dilemma was being really hard to choose, more when he caught his erection and immediately, he thought about Sakurai, who was outside, probably waiting for him and an explanation. So that he opened the tap of the sink and started to torture himself by freezing his member to see if that excitation disappeared.

Miraculously, after a few minutes relaxing himself, it stopped and he sighed, thanking his luck for having finished that uncomfortable moment. However, when he washed his hands to come out, he realized the worst part started there, having to go to the kitchen and say what was wrong with himself to the man who provoked that erection. Masaki wanted to die when his mind gave him that perspective, but even like that he went downstairs slowly, as if he were delaying it. The house was not that big, though. So he ended up arriving to the kitchen and finding Sho with Jun already. He sighed relieved, celebrating he was safe with his friend again.

“Hey! Finally you woke up! After defeating me the whole evening, you fell asleep and the whole bed for you, dude” Matsumoto joked friendly. Aiba tried to apologize and maintain the chat with him because like that Sho would not approach him. However, he was focused on his hands placing the stuff in the cupboards or his body moving through the kitchen elegantly. His mind was admiring and praising that man in front of him. So much he did not know how Jun did not discover him.

“I thought about going out to have lunch” his friend proposed and Masaki widened his eyes by joy. Getting out of that house would be the best in the end so he nodded, looking so excited to do it. “Perfect then!” he smiled and right before they were going to go upstairs to get ready, Sho called his nephew.

“Ah, Jun, yesterday finally I found the movie you asked me, but I could only rent it for today” his voice sounded sad.

“We can watch it this evening, you don't mind, right?” Matsumoto accepted and asked Aiba, who desired to say no and go away from him, but unluckily he saw Jun so excited and it was also disrespectful so, regretting it a lot…

“Not at all! I'm sure it will be amazing” he nodded with a fake smile and finally they went to his bedroom.

“I hope you like mystery because it's a thriller” Jun laughed.

“Yay…”

*****

He had spent the whole lunch thinking about what would happen when he would return to Jun's house and he would have to handle again Sho's presence. On one hand, he wanted to be beside him because somehow he loved that tension he felt, how their gazes collided and his body reacted. But on the other hand, he got so nervous because he was risking his future that he desired to stop it as soon as possible. Exactly, Ninomiya and Ohno's ideas did not help and they encouraged him to continue to know what Sakurai felt for him. His curiosity was being fed by the uncertainty of the reason behind his acts as that morning or as the last day in the university. He needed to know, that was why, even if he was taking a big risk, Aiba would ask him as soon as they would be alone.

So, already arriving to his house, Jun and Masaki were having a nice chat regarding the school and similar stuff. He tried to remain calm and focus on the chat instead of what would happen. But it was impossible when they were in front of the house and Matsumoto was opening the main door. Masaki came inside while looking at every side to see if he figured Sakurai out, but no one was there. Maybe they would be able to watch the movie alone and it would not be as bad as he thought.

Then, they went to the living room and Jun offered a seat on the sofa to Aiba. “Stay here, I will call my uncle and get some snacks” he explained with an excited smile. Masaki's hopes were broken right after hearing that and he just sat and sighed deeply. What should he do? Suddenly, his phone vibrated once and he checked it as he was waiting for them there.

**From::** Ninomiya Kazunari

_Bro, how is it going? Could you be alone?_

Aiba frowned and did a painful grimace as if he was suffering because of everyone there. Why was he asking at that exact moment?

**From::** Aiba Masaki

_You and your plans. I'm going to watch a movie with him and Jun now so I truly doubt we will be alone after all._

He answered to try to stop his plan by showing him it was non-viable, although he was sure Ninomiya would not be happy about that and he would try anything to make it work and get a moment of loneliness for them.

**From::** Ninomiya Kazunari

_Don't worry, here I am to fix it. Only answer me when you will start the movie, okay?_

Suddenly, he sent such a message and Aiba frowned; what was he thinking about? Somehow, he was afraid of his new idea, because he was sure there was a new idea in his twisted mind. And for some reason he ignored, Masaki turned off his phone to follow his instructions and wait for uncle and nephew. Not taking too much, Jun appeared with snacks followed by his uncle. Then, Aiba saw how Jun sat on the other couch and Sakurai placed himself beside his side. The younger boy stared at him with odd expression and Jun laughed about it.

“I hope you don't mind, I always sit here” he explained with a troubled grimace and Aiba shook his head to reassure him. The least he wanted was to make him feel bad, even though he was hating the idea of staying two hours beside the person he liked.

“Excuse him, he's a bit maniac” his uncle joked with a smile and Matsumoto rolled his eyes and focused on beginning the movie. Then, he remembered Ninomiya's message and he went to write it.

**From::** Aiba Masaki

_Now._

He only sent that, because after all, he would see what his friend had planned in a brief moment. Masaki was afraid of what it could be, but somehow he knew his friends only wanted to help him and he really trusted them. So he just leaned his back on the sofa, right beside Sho, who was drinking a beer handsomely, and waited for the next step.

However, the movie started and Aiba did not notice something unusual. What was more, he was unable to understand the movie because he was only interested by any signal of the plan. Even after half an hour, they were still there, watching it relaxedly, nothing special happening and Aiba was tempted to send another message asking what was going on. Nevertheless, abruptly, Jun's phone rang and he saw how his friend frowned when he saw the screen, but he stopped the movie while apologizing and took it.

“Nino, what's wrong?” he spoke. Aiba closed his eyes understanding now what he was trying to do and why he took so much to begin it. Right after picking it up, Jun had to go upstairs to talk with him about whatever Ninomiya had told him and, as the plan had indicated, they were finally alone.

Masaki only kept in silence, looking down and maybe waiting for a move from Sakurai. He did not know if he was wasting a perfect chance, but being patient was the solution for a lot of things and, hastily, his luck smiled at him. “Aiba… About what happened this morning-“

“Ah, yes” he cut him suddenly, truly nervous about fixing that. “I’m sorry for that because-“

“No, no, I'm a man and I understand it perfectly” Sho cut him off too, showing somehow how impatient he could be too and for a reason he did not know, Masaki turned around to face him in an attack of bravery. “We’re both men and you're young” he spoke lowly while blinking slowly. “Really, don't worry” he titled his head sexily, leaving Masaki mesmerized, and suddenly, Sho placed his hand over Aiba's left knee. His whole body was paralyzed and his breath disappeared. The adrenaline was rushing through his veins uncontrollably and that tension between them, when both gazes crashed, was back. Aiba wanted to lie to himself and say it was only his illusion, but he could not handle it anymore. That was why he leaned on the sofa to approach in a second and press his lips against Sakurai's while his free hand caught his cheek. He was so surprised when the kiss was returned by two fleshy lips that he continued without a stop until his lungs began to shout for oxygen and he moved backwards. Only then, he understood what he had just done.

How had he been able? How was his heart able to feel such things for him? How was his body able to feel such a desire because of him? How was he able to be in front of him after having done that step? Of course, he was looking at him with widened eyes. Of course, no one of them knew too well what to do. Of course, he wanted to run away from there and forget what he had done, forget everything related to him and continue his life as he had done for two years in the university. However, a part of his mind was saying it was impossible. There was no way he could forget that, what he felt, what he did, how those eyes were surprised, but also how they were somehow asking another one. Could he? Could he kiss the rector again?

Then, Sakurai's hand grabbed Masaki's T-shirt strongly as his mouth was opened while breathing hard and his eyes were focused on his lips. His body was talking so much Aiba decided to move fast and sit over his thighs, each leg at each side to grab his hair and kiss him lustily. Sho welcomed him by tilting his head to make it deeper and by grabbing his butt with a hand while the other one was already inside his T-shirt touching his spine. Meanwhile, Aiba was like dreaming that, the person he liked was kissing and touching him like that. He was almost bursting by the happiness. He would be really thrilled if Jun were not upstairs, if that moment did not have an end. But his excitement was not broken because of that, but because suddenly, those hands over him were removed hastily and those lips kissing him were set aside. At that moment, he opened his eyes and found a lost Sakurai looking at everything almost panicking.

Without a doubt, all his fears appeared in a second and he stood up as a spring, leaving Sho on the sofa, who looked up showing a really disappointed gaze. “What are we doing?!” he asked loudly, as if he was really nervous. Masaki was paralyzed instead. He felt the most ridiculous person in the world. What had he done? What could he say then? There was no way he could excuse that. There was no way he had a future there anymore. He had screwed his life just because of pleasure. What was he thinking of?

“I…-“

“Get out of my house…” suddenly, he spoke and only then, Aiba could react and understand he needed to do anything before letting that end in that way.

“No! I can explain it, really! I-“

“Now!” Sakurai stood up with the scariest gaze Aiba could have ever seen in a human. Being unable to control that, his own eyes started to be watery by the shame in him. Maybe, the best was that, after all, he could not stay there anymore. Jun would return in any moment and if he knew anything about that, he would lose one of the most important friends he could have in his life. So lowering his gaze in front of Sakurai, he muttered an apology and ran out of there as his eyes lost all the tears. Unluckily, he stepped on Jun in the hallway and being unable even to look at his face, he just continued his path, not answering to the insistent questions. He needed to disappear.

In the moment he was in the street, his hand caught his phone and called Ninomiya. He walked while he was crying, not caring about what the few people who saw him would think about him. Masaki only mattered about staying calm enough to answer something understandable when Ninomiya picked it up. “Did it work?!” his friend spoke naïvely. Right after a sob was heard, his mood changed in milliseconds. “Hey! What's wrong?!” his question was worried.

“He has rejected me” Masaki explained as he felt how his heart was breaking more and more.

“What? Aiba, are you okay?”

“I feel so ridiculous”

*****

Sad tears were falling over an already-wet shoulder without the attempt of going to stop soon. His sobs were low, as if they wanted to be part of the silence, but becoming unable to be one and echoing in that small room of the residence. His hands were slightly trembling by the nerves he was having to cope with after such an embarrassing situation and knowing the future which was awaiting for him. Although he was really trying to handle that tight pain inside of his chest, his mind was unable to stop recalling that moment when both kissed on that sofa, when his hands were grabbing him not to escape, but also when Sho rejected him and told him to go away that harshly. And that only hurt him over and over again.

“Aiba, it's normal if he did that” suddenly, Ninomiya spoke and the taller boy raised his head shocked. “After all, you sat over him to kiss him and so…” he explained, maybe meaning that his move was too hasty yet between them. Aiba just looked up to control his tears.

“I didn’t know what happened. I moved without thinking and he just grabbed me as wanting that” he said with broken voice and Ohno, who had been walking around the room, sat beside him.

“That’s what is weird. Why would he reject you if he wanted it too?” he muttered bothered. He was also pouting as if he was angry.

“You don't know if he truly wanted that or just acted like that because he was only surprised” Ninomiya replied, trying not to confirm anything. Masaki understood why. Whatever they would tell him, they might be wrong and that would confuse him more and more. So for some reason, he let them discuss it while he was listening to them.

“Do you think he would have touched him like that instead?” he did a small pause, seeing how Ninomiya was already frowning. “The first time you kissed me, I continued it even if I rejected you after” Ohno explained another situation pretty alike and Ninomiya could only flush and look away.

“You didn’t need to remember that now…” he muttered with a bittersweet voice. Masaki was just listening to how they were talking as if he were not between them, sitting on his bed.

“What I mean is: I liked you, but I wasn't ready to make that step with you. Maybe that's what is happening to Sakurai” Satoshi concluded before they two could get the hidden meaning in his words and Ninomiya jumped out of the bed.

“It's that!” he clapped his hands. Meanwhile, Masaki only dared to watch how two mad people continued conjecturing. “Sakurai feels horribly attracted to you, but he's the rector, who's unable to stain his career with a student. That's why even if he allowed you to do that, he stopped right after remembering your situation” Kazunari fixed the puzzle gorgeously and with a brilliant smirk. Ohno stood up to high five with his partner. However, interrupting that moment of victory, Masaki spoke up his opinion.

“I could understand that, but there was no need to kick me out of his house or to shout at me like that” he muttered, truly bothered if that was the real reason of why Sho panicked at that moment. Because somehow, he believed in their theory. Or better said, he wanted to believe it had been that and he was still safe there. Otherwise, he had ruined his future, his career, his life. He would become the rector's whore if someone else aside from Ohno and Ninomiya would discover their secret.

“I think you need to talk” Ohno spoke wisely.

“I’ll do another plan for Monday! Don't worr-“

“Nino, stop!” Masaki stood up with serious, tired face; he tried to soften it a bit when he saw the sad eyes in his friend, though. “Thank you for helping me, but right now I may be fired from the university. What I've done may cause me irreversible consequences. Liking the rector was a mistake. Thinking I could be answered back was stupid. You don't have any guilt, but I shouldn’t have followed your plans so nothing like this would have happened…” Aiba regretted aloud. His two friends just remained looking at him speechlessly. He knew that even if he had clarified they were not at blame, after his harsh words, they were feeling guiltier than him. That was why he looked away and walked outside of the room. He needed fresh air to think, to calm himself down, to be alone and pray that Sakurai would not do anything against his behaviour.

He was just wandering around the campus, watching how some people were also there enjoying a peaceful day on the grass, studying or just simply playing cards with friends and having fun after another hard week. Aiba sighed and lowered his head; he wished he would be able to be like them, instead of just counting the hours left for him there. There was no way he could stop thinking about what he had done. And about its consequences. The student desired to believe in his friends' theory, but his realistic side was only telling him Sho only followed him by the surprise, by the natural instinct of continuing that. He had no chance with such a man. He had just become an adult last year and Sakurai was the rector of a prestigious university. How could he risk it all because of someone as Aiba? Slowly, his hopes were destroyed and it was like he finally crashed against a wall.

With a defeated smile, he walked through the garden until he found a small place without people. Then, he sat on the grass and leaned his back on a tree. His eyes were closed tiredly and a sigh was heavily done. June was starting to be hotter than usual already so even under the tree’s shadow, he was still feeling as burning. Then, why was he there? Somehow, he wanted the peace only nature and sun could offer him. See how that sky was turning into orange, pink, red as the enormous star was hiding behind the horizon. It became a peaceful moment for a while, however it had to be broken by his phone ringing. He was scared of even checking who was; he has to pick it up, though. That was why he answered when he saw Jun's name on the screen. Which excuse would he say?

“Aiba?” his friend asked, sounding really worried. “Can you explain me what happened?” his voice was turned into anger. Meanwhile, Masaki started to panic, not knowing what he was going to say.

“Jun, this has an explanation” his way to begin was hesitant and the student was already doubting his friend was believing any single word.

“I hope it has because my uncle hasn't told me anything” Matsumoto clarified and in that moment, Aiba had an idea. Possibly that would be the end of their friendship if Jun discovered it was a lie, but he was unable to say he had kissed Sho.

“You know, Ohno was so upset too and he called me crying and begging help” he exaggerated to see if that was a proper reason to get out of there in that way. “I’m sorry for not having told you anything, but I was really worried” Masaki continued lying to see if Jun believed his story. “Because of that, I was pretty rude with your uncle, tell him I'm sorry, please” he finished his excuse, his lie, and his ear only heard a deep sigh. He wondered if Jun had figured him out.

“You know? I'm so tired” suddenly, he said and Aiba panicked. “Nino and Ohno should solve their problems by their own instead of coming to us every time they argue” he spoke rudely and Masaki thanked his luck, almost crying by the relief.

“I know… I will try to talk with them, don't worry” the student tried to persuade him not to be so bothered with them and heard a sigh at the other side of the phone.

“Okay…” Jun accepted. “And why didn’t you come back?” he asked suddenly. Aiba became pale and his brain started to work faster than the speed of light. What should he say?

“Ohno was so bad that I had to go to our bedroom and calm him. I want to stay here with him, do you mind it?” he lied again. The guilt was already piling up around his heart, squeezing it until making him feel the worst friend ever. Was that worth it?

“Ah, no, no. I'll end the movie alone” Matsumoto stated with sad voice and that only created more blame and shame in him. Then, Aiba remembered a detail.

“And your uncle? Isn’t he there with you?” he asked wanting to know more about how he had handled that after he left the house.

“No, he remembered he had work to do and went to his office” he explained and Aiba felt even worse than before because now Jun was alone when they had talked about spending the whole weekend together. Especially because he knew how Jun could feel in his house due to Sakurai's hard work. However, now he could not go back. There was no way he could say now he accepted to return, and much less when Sho was there after what he had done. Plus, the rector had been pretty decisive when he shouted at Aiba to get out of his house. The student was sure about not returning anymore, even if that supposed a negative impact on his friendship with Jun. He hated that situation because he loved being with his friend, but of course he could not be relaxed and comfortable there, knowing there was a person who wanted him as far as possible. That was why…

“I’m truly sorry, Jun… I wanted to-“

“Don't worry” he cut him off suddenly. “I see you in class” Matsumoto tried to hung up and before Masaki was fast enough to answer, the call was ended. Aiba just left his hand fall over his legs with the phone showing how he had hung up like that. His fingers placed it into his pocket and stood up to return to his bedroom to see if Ohno wanted to go and have dinner already. He needed to stop wondering how angry Jun was. Of course, it was normal, after all his friend had ended up being alone a Saturday in his house because of his fault. He could have stayed and handled that situation with Sho or simply have gone to a restaurant and be together. He could have done everything so different and now Aiba was regretting every single step he did that evening.

*****

It was already Monday. He had spent the whole Sunday in his bed, reading manga or sleeping. Aiba had seen how worried Ohno and Ninomiya were about him so he decided to go to class that day even if he did not want and his first plan was skipping it. For some reason, he did not want to create more problems for them, so he just took his stuff and went with Ohno to his class. They were not talking as usual, his roommate was not the type of boy with whom to talk the whole time and Aiba was grateful for that in moments like those when he did not feel as maintaining a chat. That was why they walked together, in silence, until arriving to that big class half-full of people already. Then, when they were going to choose two seats, the teacher left his desk to approach them.

“Aiba” that man called him. The student frowned. “The rector has asked me to tell you to go to his office” he informed him. Suddenly, Aiba panicked and started to sweat and be nervous.

“Right now?” he asked, not wanting to go at all. If he could avoid it by now, he would do anything.

“Yes, you can skip this class. It seemed important” the teacher clarified and Masaki nodded, already realizing he had no other choice.

“Thank you” that was the last phrase he said before the teacher returned to his desk and the two roommates looked at each other.

“Are you okay?” Ohno asked with concern in his eyes. Masaki was grateful he worried like that, but of course he was not. He was not going to say it, though.

“Yeah, we'll talk later” he faked a smile and got out of the class to head to the rector's office. Meanwhile, his mind could not stop thinking the worst things as losing his chance to go to that university or being exposed as sexual harassment towards the rector. Indeed, if Sakurai wanted to screw him up, he had several ways to do it and Aiba was really nervous about which way he would choose. His future could be broken just because his desire to kiss that man had been stronger than his will to rethink twice what he was going to do and that might cause he would lose everything he had built in his life.

So just accepting his fate, he reached the door. At the other side, that man was waiting for him. It was his end, Aiba was sure. So that he knocked on the door and opened it a bit, letting it happen without any strength to stop it. His head pecked inside the office and his eyes found Sho writing on his computer. “Excuse me, did you want to talk with me?” he tried to be so polite, to look into his eyes and be brave at least in that last moment they would have. However, his shame was tougher and when Sho looked up, Masaki avoided his gaze.

“Yes, sit down” the rector allowed him and the student followed his orders. Almost noticing how he was trembling, Aiba remained on that chair in front of the person he had kissed two days ago. In front of the person he liked. He desired. And because his sense of justice and values were a part of his personality, he started to talk, even before knowing what Sho wanted.

“I'm truly sorry about what I did last Saturday” his voice was higher than he wanted, but even like that, he continued. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I swear it won't be repeated twice” he spoke up, truly apologizing and praying Sho would believe him. Then, he heard how Sho moved on his chair, as paying him all his attention.

“Why don't you look at me?” abruptly, that was his answer.

“How can I?” at the next instant, Aiba replied with another question, reflecting his shame perfectly. Right after, Sakurai sighed and rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb.

“Which is your purpose?” Sho questioned with tired voice and Masaki raised his head as a spring. What was he thinking of?

“What?” at this moment, Aiba was looking at his eyes undoubtedly.

“What do you want? High marks, promotion…” the rector continued. The student could only frown and feel deeply insulted. Was he meaning such a horrible thing? “You have to know you're not the first who does this, but also that I have never accepted that type of blackmail” Sakurai informed him and Aiba's suspicions were confirmed. “Because you're Jun's friend, I want to-“

“What?” suddenly, he cut the rector off. “Are you really insinuating I kissed you because of higher marks?!” he raised his voice, watching how Sho seemed shocked. “All I got in my life has been because of my own effort, I don't need such awful acts to get what I want” he defended himself pretty rudely, but what he was sure of was that he would not allow neither the rector nor anyone to doubt of his intentions.

“Wait, then why did you kiss me then?” hastily, Sho really looked lost and Masaki calmed down to try to explain that and make him see that he was so far away from understanding his reasons.

“Do you think I myself know it?” he looked down, embarrassed for opening his feelings like that in front of a stranger. “Why did you kiss me back and touched me?” he asked back, as if he wanted to show him there was no explanation for it. It just happened because both felt that connected. Then, Sakurai stayed in silence and Masaki smiled tenderly. “I was so happy when you answered me back like that…” he muttered without a reason. He saw how Sakurai widened his eyes and opened his mouth.

“Here we are student and rector” he spoke hesitantly. “But in my house, we could be only Aiba and Sho” his sentence sounded as a proposal and Masaki frowned while not understanding that change of behaviour. At first, he was accusing him and now he was inviting him to his house. What was wrong with him?

“What do you mean?” he spoke kind of scared. Their gazes crashed in that tense ambient.

“Today, Jun isn't in home” his indirect was evident, but the student could not believe what he was saying. “If you want to come, it won't bother me” he offered, again with that sexy aura. Only then, Aiba noticed how handsome he was in that suit, how mature and experienced he could be. Not only in life, but also in sex. His mind was betraying him for thinking like that in front of Sho, but he could not help it. Aiba truly desired a night with him. And the chance was in his hand. Should he grab it?

“Just tell me a thing” he asked first. “Why do you want me to go after having insinuated I only wanted higher marks?” if his answer was convincing, he would accept. Sakurai only needed a good reason to make him fall in his trap and have him in his house that evening. It was so easy Masaki was praying to hear what he wanted.

“I just wanted to be sure I was doing the right step” the rector smiled and leaned his back on his chair victoriously.

“Do you mean you were going to propose me to go to your house since the beginning? Since you asked my teacher to call me?” Masaki understood, being taken aback by how complicated his plan could seem. He was worse than Ninomiya.

“Depending on your answers, of course” Sakurai stood up to surround the desk and be right in front of Masaki. The student looked up, but he hated the superiority he had in that position, so he stood up too, not knowing they would end up being so close to each other.

“Why?” his challenging eyes appeared because of how he felt Sakurai was starting to play and, as if he had read the situation, Sho smirked.

“You will only know it if you come” he answered lowly, sexily. Aiba thought he was going to die there. If he were not the rector, he would corner him against that desk to make out until being dry. That was how Sakurai attracted him. And possibly it was reciprocal, because abruptly the rector placed his hands around Masaki's waist and kissed his lips softly. The student felt completely lost, so much he could not even close his eyes, just admiring how Sho was looking at him too. There was no shame there. Only desire. Attraction. And Aiba was really worried it would be only a fuck and nothing else.

Then, when Sho wanted, the kiss was broken and the student bit his lower lip, yearning for another. “Which hour should I be there?” hastily, he spoke up, accepting his plan being guided by his lust instead of by his mind and awareness. Sakurai smiled and returned to his chair.

“Around 7 pm” the rector told him satisfied and Aiba nodded before turning around to exit the office. What was he going to do? He did not know it at all. Since when was he that crazy and reckless? He felt really uncontrollable, just doing those things without stopping to think which the consequences could be. However, now it was done; he said he was going to go and there was no turning back. Although, he would not go back even if there were some other choices. Now, Masaki needed to spend his day faster and find himself in front of the door of that house before his mind realized what he was doing. It could be considered impossible, though.

*****

The last class of that day had ended and he had to be quick if he wanted to arrive to the bus on time. So heading to his room at 6:15 pm was making him wonder what would happen one hour after. What he would be doing at 7:15 pm. It seemed an hour. A simple hour. But from that moment on, his life would change. He knew it. Undoubtedly. And that thought scared him so much that he stopped in front of the door of his bedroom to ask himself if he was sure about that step. What if that was a trap? What if Sho just wanted to make fun of him? What if everything was a lie? He was not sure anymore of going there. Even like that, he opened the door with his key and came in, finding Ohno on his bed as he was reading a fishing magazine. They greeted each other, but Aiba knew his face was reflecting his emotions, because Ohno set the magazine aside and asked him.

“Are you okay? You look pale” Satoshi frowned while sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“Yeah, I'm just tired. I haven't slept last night too well” he lied as his hands were placing his stuff on its place to be ready to go. He started to change the T-shirt and trousers to look nicer in front of Sho. He was ridiculous, he knew it, but he could not control it.

“Where are you going?” Ohno continued asking and that was a bother, because that meant Aiba had to keep lying. No one could know what he was going to do.

“I will just meet Jun to talk, he was pretty angry and I don't blame him” there he was again with another false excuse. After, he should think what to say to Jun to cover him. He would find something for sure. Now, he had to be focused on going away on time.

“And what did the rector want this morning?” suddenly, Ohno brought up that subject and Masaki froze on his spot. What could he do? He dressed up completely and turned around to fix his hair through a small mirror he had in his closet door.

“It was to talk about what happened. I apologized and there won't be consequences because I'm Jun's friend” technically, he did not lie, just hid some details of meeting and kissing. Then, he turned around to grab his bag and see Ohno's face. He seemed convinced at least, but a hard guilt was formed inside Aiba. That was why he approached and kissed his friend's head. “Thank you for worrying, but I'm okay really” he spoke because Ohno deserved it and way more by how well he was treating him. So if only that would show his gratitude, Aiba was okay to show it. Satoshi, instead, nodded with a kind smile and they said goodbye when Aiba got out of the room.

After, the student moved doubtfully to the bus stop and then, he started his short trip to Sakurai's house. The whole time he was wondering what he was doing or what would happen between them. The doubts inside his mind were stressing him until the limit of wanting to return and stay in his bed. However, he stayed sat in that bus which was already coming in the street where Aiba had to go. Even when he could step on the floor and feel that warm wind surrounding his body, Aiba desired to turn around and forget that meeting. He would never know why his feet headed to the house, though. It was a mystery how he was attracted by the curiosity and the chance of being alone with Sho.

Then, when he was right in front of the door, when his finger could just press the doorbell, when he knew that man was at the other side of that wall, he looked at his watch and saw it was 7:10 pm. Even the time was saying him to hurry because it was late. That was why, under the pressure of not knowing what to do, his hand rang the bell without thinking. So he got blocked in the moment that door was opened and Sakurai Sho, still wearing that suit without the jacket, appeared in front of him. Without a word, the rector set aside to let him come in and Aiba just did a few steps until being in a great spot to remove his shoes. Sho gave him a pair of slippers and when he looked up, Sakurai started to get closer.

“You’re a bit late” he spoke with dark voice. Masaki tried to control his nerves, but it seemed impossible.

“The bus was slow” he excused his delay as his eyes were observing how Sho was going to the main matter. He found himself unable to do that. Not yet. So he turned around and walked through the hallway, escaping from Sakurai successfully. “And what do you want to do?” Aiba asked naïvely, with a shy smile on his face and there was not an answer back, just a man who took his hand and pulled him upstairs. Then, they came in his bedroom and Aiba widened his eyes by how big it was. Especially the bed. The walls were painted with a brownish red combing so well with the white furniture such as a closet and two armchairs in front of a television. His eyes could not stop looking at everything so he forgot Sho was chasing him since he had opened the door and suddenly, he felt a hand grabbing his. Right after, their gazes collided.

“What do you expect from this meeting?” the rector asked and Aiba raised his both eyebrows. He did not know what to answer, because he was sure it was not to chat and be friends, but he did not know how far they would reach in a few hours.

“I imagine tons of things…” he said as he walked around to break that eye contact and arrived to the big window, where he could see the whole street and also how the sun was falling and the sky was orange.

“I will change my question” hastily, Sho spoke. “What do you want to happen in this meeting?” his voice sounded more serious and Aiba dared to answer.

“Sex?” indeed, even if he was not feeling good enough in that situation, his mind was only thinking of sex with Sho constantly. There was no second he did not glance at that bed and desired to be there, naked, while enjoying Sakurai's experience.

“Are you virgin?” that question was so hasty that Aiba looked behind him to find the rector with crossed arms and serious expression. The student went back to watch the city.

“No, I've done it with girls” he answered embarrassed. He had been already with a few girls every time he went out in summer or to university parties. “And you?” Masaki played with his question and asked back to see which answer he would get.

“Two women and a great number of men” he seemed as bragging and Aiba could not hide his smirk.

“What a intense sexual life the rector has” he joked with low voice not knowing how Sho would react, after all they had just met a week ago.

“No” suddenly, he replied. “The rector only works. But Sakurai Sho maybe has it” he differentiated and that made Aiba turn around with a frown. “Forget already we are rector and student if you want to have fun” Sakurai told him straight. That only made Aiba's doubts be bigger and bigger. What was he meaning? How could they not be rector and student? How could he forget? That was not as easy as he planned it.

“You seem as acting too recklessly with a student, don't you?” Aiba started to be more and more nervous so his words were not controlled anymore, probably messing up the situation.

“I don't, because you're not my student” Sho answered without any single emotion on his face and that just made Aiba to lose his composure.

“And what am I then?” his voice was higher, showing how he could not understand anything else. His brain was about to collapse.

“Just another man who wants to spend time with me” right after this, Aiba widened his eyes and stopped thinking for a second. What had he just said? “So that's why…” Sho started to approach and Aiba was unable to move away, he was still thinking of his words and its meaning, thinking about those lips which were going to kiss him once again, thinking about his hands grabbing his hips to be closer. And because his mind was too tired to continue, Masaki just caught his tie and pulled him until their lips crashed into a soft kiss. He was feeling how Sho knew so well how to move and that was even more exciting. Then, those hands over him grabbed the edge of his T-shirt and removed it slowly, breaking the kiss two seconds. Meanwhile, Sakurai admired his thin, built body with aroused eyes.

“Yours is better” not knowing why, the student spoke such a thing and he only got his smile.

“How do you know that?” Sho asked before starting to kiss and suck his neck.

“That day I came here by mistake…” he replied between small gasps. His skin felt how Sakurai smiled and continued because Aiba placed his hand on his hair to brush it sweetly. Then, he opened his eyes and returned to the reality, to think he was going to have sex with the rector, and all his lust disappeared, which made him become tense and surly.

“What's wrong?” Sho asked as his hand caught Aiba's and guided him until the bed. Masaki just kept still in front of him.

“Nothing” he pretended to look shy and try a bit more to see if his body started to feel good there because after all, he wanted that with Sho, that was why he was there, otherwise he would not have accepted or kissed him the other day.

So feeling his cheeks as burning, his hands untied the tie around his neck to throw it to the floor and began to open the shirt as Sho searched for his lips to play. When it was opened fully, his fingers were slipped in to feel his hot skin, but even like that, his body was still cold, what made him continue being tense. And it was pretty noticeable because Sho broke the kiss hastily to look at him. “Really, Aiba, what's wrong?” he asked again, showing he was worried about him.

“Nothing” he answered again, but this time, Sho did not believe him and caught his chin to peck his lips as if he was insisting. So that Aiba did not see another choice, but saying it aloud. “I feel nothing down there…” he spoke shyly and Sakurai only frowned as not understanding what he meant. “I don't get hard…” he looked away and even removed his hands from the rector's body. He was ashamed of such matter happening to him. However, he only made his partner laugh.

“We have just started! Also, you're so tense. Don't go so fast and let it flow” Sho reassured him with a sweet face he had never seen and which made him be mesmerized once more. Maybe he was right and he was just too focused on the steps they took instead of just enjoying that. “You want this, right?” suddenly, the rector broke his thoughts with worried voice.

“Yes, yes. I want this” Aiba nodded almost panicking because he realized his mood had even made him think he did not want that and that allowed the student to see he needed to put in order his feelings instead of his doubts. He had to see what he felt for Sakurai to be able to continue. Then, he asked himself why he was there. And the only answer he got was because he liked Sho so badly. The person he was, his character and his way of being. Aiba discovered he was trying to make it happen since that day in that sofa. There, he did not think and his heart acted as it felt. If Sho had let him and Jun had not been there, Aiba would have reached the very end with him. Why? Because that attraction, that connection, was so unbearable inside of him.

And now, having defeated his first mental block, he felt more relaxed and sure about continuing. That was why Aiba touched his shoulders to remove the shirt and see those abdominals again. They were perfect to touch as he was doing with his soft fingertips. Sho was perfect to touch and admire in a situation like that. However, the rector got impatient and he made him sit on the bed to place himself over him so they both would fall on the mattress together. Sakurai trapped his wrists against the sheets with both hands while his eyes were looking extremely playful. Masaki could only wonder what he was doing as his trousers started to felt tighter. In that condition of being unable to move, Sho attacked one of his nipples despicably and the student could not soften his moan. He was at his mercy. He could not find any single escape and that made him feel even hotter.

His eyes only looked down to see how he was treating his body lustily, but also how handsome he was under that light created by the sunset. The whole room was orange and brown, Sho's skin seemed darker and his brown hair became orange, what suited his skin. Even his pale body seemed tanned thanks to the light and somehow it made the scene even prettier. He was so focused on remembering every single detail that for a second he forgot the pleasure and that provoked Sho stopped to look up and meet his gaze once again. The rector kissed him a bit harder than the last times and they started to rub their bodies, especially one of Sakurai’s legs began to massage his crotch. Aiba could only move his hands in vain and receive that intrusive tongue, which appeared for first time. That cut his breath instantly, so when Sho sat over his thighs, Aiba breathed really hard as one of his now-free hands touched his own torso, finding it was full covered of saliva and that made him feel dirty.

For some reason, his mind realized once again who was doing that to his body and he could only see the rector in front of him. So, when Sho started to open his trousers, Aiba caught his hands with worried eyes. “Isn’t this a big problem for you? Can't this destroy not only your reputation but also the university’s one?” Aiba spoke his doubts suddenly when their gazes looked at each other. Sakurai simply sighed and sat beside him, what Aiba followed and sat too waiting for his answer.

“Yes, I'm totally aware of it” Sho admitted quickly. “But I also know this is not wrong” he spoke as his eyes looked up, straight to Masaki who was taken aback. Was it not wrong? “It only may be seen as out of place because of our ages and our roles in the university” he explained with soft voice. Then, suddenly he started to approach and placed a hand on his cheek before Aiba lay down again slowly with Sho over him. “That’s why, if you keep this secret, we can continue without problems” after speaking it, they kissed while Aiba was trying to understand and believe he was right. What he was saying was not wrong at all, Masaki knew that, but people around them were not thinking like that. Society liked to hurt those who were different or did what others disliked. The student knew it perfectly. How if they were figured out, they would become the spot to be attacked and hurt by everyone. When it should not be like that; each person had their lives, then Masaki wondered why he had to be attacked when he was letting everyone live as they wanted. For that reason, he looked at Sho after breaking the kiss and saw how unfair that had become so suddenly for both. Then, a heavy sadness, he had not felt before, grew up inside of him.

“If you know that, how are you able to choose this?” he asked aloud, daring to caress his cheek without thinking. Sakurai only kissed him again for a few seconds and answered him fixed to his lips.

“Because you were the first who dared to open the door between us” his voice was so low only Aiba could have heard it. His words pierced his heart so much that for first time, his thin arms hugged his neck, as if that was the last signal they needed between them to be one. Masaki felt so good there, feeling that strong back with his own hands, feeling those fleshy lips on his neck, feeling how a hand was touching his crotch. Finally, he was starting to feel better than never in his arms and he loved that. How they were able to create millions of sensations inside of each other just by caressing with their hands. How they were able to look into the other's eyes and smile without any shame in them. How they were able to forget what they were in the university to focus on what Sho had said, there they were only Sho and Aiba. And the student understood finally.

He found himself more daring, willing to touch and be touched; willing to steal kisses from Sho's lips; willing to roll in the bed and take over to play even more. Masaki discovered he loved making him moan when he played with his nipples or sitting over his thighs to observe how beautiful Sakurai was. And now yes, he needed to remove his trousers or his crotch would burst by the pain. That was why his hand grabbed his partner's to help him to sit and he just saw how Sho fought with the belt and zipper by how fast he wanted to be. That only made Aiba laugh and bite his earlobe sweetly. Hastily, he felt a hard relief and could not handle a gasp in his mouth. Then, his eyes looked down and found how excited he was. And more when a soft hand grabbed it to play with it.

“See? You were just blocked” Sakurai reassured him again and Aiba closed his eyes, mad at that hard pleasure in him. He had been touched like that before, but girls tended to be shy and just do it a bit awkwardly. What Sho was doing with his hand was glory for him, he could experiment that experience he was talking about in first person. So because he wanted to last until the end, he moved backwards, breaking that contact, to stand up and grab Sho's feet to pull him to the edge of the bed. Then, he kneeled on the floor and started to open that zipper. Aiba saw how Sho leaned on the bed with his elbows to raise his butt and help him to remove both trousers and boxers at once, setting free something he never thought it could create so much lust in him. “You can do whatever you want” Sakurai bit his lower lip and opened his legs a bit more as if he was inviting him with his moves. Masaki saw it so hard, so hot and so delicious that he could not handle his desire to grab it and suck it hard. He had never done it before as long as he did not know he liked men too, but he just let it flow, he just let his body move by itself, do what it wanted and thanks to that, he began to hear how Sakurai was moaning full of pleasure. That felt so good, that felt so crazy, that was insanely superb.

It tasted really good, his tongue loved to feel the marked veins against it, how he could breath against it and see how Sakurai trembled under his hands. That was driving him crazy. So much Aiba decided that man had to be his no matter what. He had taken the decision of seducing him until making him fall in his own trap, in his claws not to let him go. So without a doubt, he climbed up over Sho to kiss him as his own hips were making it all be rubbed. Then, when the rector was in the verge of insanity, Aiba approached his ear to whisper. “I may be young, but if you give me your butt, I'll show you how I'm worth it” he smirked while hearing how Sakurai chuckled between gasps.

“I thought it'd be upside down, but okay” he accepted, challenging him with his eyes. Then, Aiba was set aside and took advantage of it to remove his lower clothes to be completely naked. Meanwhile, Sho turned around to be able to reach the nightstand and open a drawer. He grabbed a few things and came back to give them to Aiba. “You already know what to do with them” he spoke with a smirk and the student placed them on the sheets to see how Sakurai turned around to show his butt perfectly. Masaki widened his eyes and blocked for a second when he did not know how to start. At first he just approached so his hands could touch that soft skin and massage those fluffy buttocks. Then, he placed his crotch against it to feel his back and spine. Meanwhile, Sho had his head on the mattress with his both hands too what made him look helpless and that turned him on even more.

In front of him, he had a masterpiece and how magnificent it seemed was scary. Because after all, it was their first time and he did not know which type of sex Sho liked. Aiba liked hard type, but that with girls did not work too much, so he would just try and focus on Sakurai's answer. That was why he grabbed the lube and got some to start the preparation not to hurt him. Just with the fingers, he could feel how tight it was and Aiba began to be impatient to be inside. Above all, his eyes were on that man gasping against the sheets and he looked as loving that because his hips moved towards his hand sometimes. So knowing Sho was impatient too, Masaki just grabbed the condom and opened it. By the sound of plastic being broken, Sho looked behind with aroused eyes to watch how the student was ready. Their eyes met and like that, Aiba began to be one with Sho. Watching how he had to close his eyes by the first pain, how his mouth was gasping really heavily, how his hands were grabbing the sheets so tight he might break them. That scene was better than how tight and hot he was around him. It was amazingly good. Masaki was thrilled by that moment and how they both seemed as loving it too.

“Break me…” suddenly, Sho begged with weak voice. Masaki had to gulp because that was starting to be surrealistic. Did he want hard sex with him? Had he just asked to show him how good he was? Aiba could not control himself after such invitation and his hips moved completely, understanding why Sakurai thought about doing it upside down. Now, Aiba was wondering what he was feeling. It looked really painful but when his eyes stared at his partner, he was just moaning hard every time he moved inside. How could he be enjoying that? Aiba was truly lost regarding this and he became so curious about his reaction. The bad thing was that, in that position, he could not see perfectly how Sho was loving that. So he took a decision.

“Turn around” he spoke. Sho just looked at him with a frown, but accepted that. Meanwhile, Masaki watched how he placed a pillow under his butt and opened his legs in front of him. The student remained still for a few seconds as his gaze was admiring how sexy that sight was.

“If you are going to fuck me, it's better if you start as soon as possible” Sakurai complained annoyingly and Aiba reacted as if he was doing something wrong. He approached to begin, but exactly when he was with his hands beside each side of Sho's head, looking down to start to move, two warm arms hugged his neck. Right after looking up at Sho, Aiba found him smiling amusingly. “You’re really cute sometimes” he played with his hair as if the last comment had just been a joke. Masaki looked away, knowing he had fallen right in his trap and moved hastily inside as punishment. However, Sho closed his eyes, moaned hard and arched his back so sudden Aiba thought he had been really harsh. “More…” he spoke in a gasp. The student found himself mesmerized by that, he was the most erotic person he had ever been with.

“Like this?” he answered beside his ear when his moves became harsher and faster. There was no reply, just a man who was being in the verge of exploding. Slowly, Masaki brushed his hair over his forehead and eyes sweetly before kissing him to cover his loud panting. That was being the best time of his life. How for first time, he was not moving because of his pleasure, but just focusing on what Sho wanted, on what Sho asked, on what Sho needed that evening to reach the heaven. He discovered what he had done the last years was only sex to calm his own lust, but what he was doing at that moment with Sho was another level. His careful, but harsh moves; his soft kisses and hard bites; his sweet, but aroused eyes. All was combined there to create all the possible contradictions and made that moment irreplaceable. That was why Aiba reached a point where he did not know what he was feeling anymore inside of him.

“I won't last longer” the student spoke right beside the commissure of his lips and Sho smiled. His hand grabbed his hair and brushed it tenderly.

“You’re fast” the rector chuckled between gasps and right after speaking it, his hand was lowered. Aiba looked down to see why and understood he was just shortening his stamina because of him. He wanted to say he could handle it a bit more, but his eyes just observed how Sho became more and more helpless under him. His legs were wrapped around his hips while trembling and his face expressed all the hard sensations his body was feeling. That was why, in order to help him, Masaki began to kiss and suck his neck while his ears were hearing how his gasps became low moans. Hastily, the tension inside his muscles was so harsh that his hips started to crash really hard against Sho's crotch. His mouth had to stop only to be able to moan when the climax surrounded his being and felt how the relief filled his soul. Right in time, his eyes could look down and see how Sakurai had the same reaction during a few seconds. When he was still handling the effects of the end, Masaki came back to earth. Maybe because he was not under pleasure anymore, he could see perfectly what he had done. With whom he had just had sex. Who was under him breathing hard yet. At that moment, Aiba kind of panicked. He started to feel so uncomfortable there, not knowing how to react, what to do, what to say, whether to go or to stay. So the only thing he thought of was getting out and removing the stained condom.

“You can throw it in that trash bin” Sho opened his eyes and pointed out with a hand. Then, Aiba stood up to do that, but remained so embarrassed there because he was naked in the middle of a room with the rector on that bed, looking his butt with a smirk. “At least it was worth it…” he muttered after sighing deeply and pulled off the pillow from under his butt to be more comfortable in those sheets. Maybe he wanted to rest after it so Aiba thought the best idea was letting him rest alone. After all, he needed to be alone and think of what he had done there. That was why he sat on the bed to dress his boxers and trousers.

Suddenly, he heard a voice behind. “Where do you go?” Sho asked dubious and with lost expression. Aiba looked behind not knowing too well what to answer.

“Maybe it's better if I leave…” he was frank and stood up to grab his T-shirt from the floor. But, as long as there was not a reply back, he could not help but checking what Sho was thinking of. “Why?” he stayed there, already almost in the middle of the darkness because it was night.

“I thought you would like to stay” he was sat on the bed, covered by those sheets, not looking as the rector anymore, but just a person who wanted to be with him a little longer. Aiba wondered if he should stay or go away, if he was better beside him in that bed or alone in his. There was not a clear answer, though.

“It's already late and tomorrow I have classes. Probably, even my roommate is already worried about me…” he excused himself to be able to get out of there without looking as just someone who wanted only sex. However, Sakurai frowned slightly his left eyebrow and nodded.

“Okay, well, you already know the path” he spoke rudely and lay down again, seeming really angry with him. Aiba felt even worse and he stayed there, still and lost. What should he do? He did not want to look as someone who searched for him to have sex and forget after. He hated the idea Sho was thinking that about him. That was why he approached, full of bravery, and squatted down in front of him, watching how his face was as serious as never. His hand rubbed his cheek and his lips searched for Sho's to kiss them tenderly. He was welcomed, though, and Aiba smiled because of how cute Sakurai could be too.

“Don't get angry, please. Understand my situation too” he asked the rector, who answered him back just with a glance, perhaps regretting his acts. “It was incredible. I've loved it so I truly hope to repeat it” he praised the moment they had just shared before pecking his lips again, breaking that cold wall between them and finally Sho nodded, looking happier. Then, his hand was raised to place Aiba's hair correctly and they kissed again with it over his cheek.

“Be careful in your way back” he spoke lowly, accepting his decision to leave and the student nodded. Once again, he pecked his lips, as if he was in need to be constantly doing it so that would mean to be one second more beside him. However, the end arrived and Masaki stood up, still grabbing the hand which had caressed his face. He did not want to leave. Now, it was evident in his heart where he wanted to stay and with whom to be. But it was too risky and too early. So even if it was being really hard, he dropped his hand and turned around to approach the door.

When he was going downstairs, his mind could not stop thinking the dream he had just lived. It was like a fairy tail. How the person he liked took the decision of having sex with him, even if it was totally impossible and forbidden between them. Now, they seemed as having broken a wall to be closer, as having done the first step to be something. But now he could not help but wonder what would happen tomorrow. How they would act. How Sakurai would act with him. Their feelings were evident, it was evident on that bed while they were sharing everything they had. However, Aiba was as worried as never. He was unable to look at him again. It was easy in that room right after doing that when his adrenaline was still running through his veins, but now, when he was already arriving to the residence after half an hour, his shame began to appear. Remembering all what happened there, all what he said, all what he did was a hell now. His mind was torturing him. Why had he done it? In some aspect, he was regretting it.

Then, he walked absorbed in his thoughts through the campus. It was already night and only the lamps around illuminated the path. There was no one either. And the wind was so cold at that hour. He was hoping Ohno was not worried about him because there was no way he could continue lying just to be able to excuse himself. That was why he planned to take a shower and go to grab some food before sleeping. Somehow, he was starving. So trying to be normal, he put the key inside the door and came in, finding Ohno studying on his bed. “Hi” he greeted his roommate, but in exchange the latter did not even raise his head.

“Don’t you think you've talked too much to come this late?” he spoke with soft voice. Masaki got tense and sweaty at the next instant, but he tried to seem normal by grabbing a towel and starting to remove his clothes.

“Are you my mother now?” he joked, chuckling slightly. That was not enough, though. He continued undressing until only having the towel around his waist.

“No…” he answered briefly and Aiba turned around to smile at him. Satoshi raised his head with weird expression, but it became more taken aback when his eyes found something he did not like.

“Why do you have a hickey on your neck?” his roommate sat on the edge of the bed to stand up and look closely. Aiba moved backwards, panicking about being discovered and he hid his neck. Not knowing he had that, he approached the mirror inside his closet to take a look and widened his eyes. Why did Sho do that?! His mind was working as fast as the speed of light, but it was impossible to find a good excuse and less when Satoshi made him turn around with a hand on his shoulder. “Will you lie to me again or you will tell me the truth?” his words were harsh as his behaviour. He looked really angry, but Masaki knew what was more important, so he just removed his hand hastily.

“It’s not your business” he spat by the fear of being figured out and went outside to run to the showers. There, there was some boys more, but he did not care. His hand tapped the button to get hot water and brush his skin. Every time he closed his eyes, images of Sho kissing and licking his skin came back. It was like a torture. He had never felt something alike and it was hard to control. During a moment, he regretted to have done it with Sakurai because of how much he had to pay for hiding it. Was that the price he had to pay for being able to touch and kiss him? Sometimes he really thought it was not worth it. Not only Jun, but also Ohno were angry with him already. He was going to lose all his friends because of Sakurai. Was that okay?

Slowly, that fist which was surrounded by water was placed on the wall to control that anger inside of his heart. It was aching. Too much. A limit he thought it was impossible to handle. What should he do? Who should he trust? It was hard to decide. It was hard to choose. It was hard to open his eyes and say the truth, say he liked that man, say he had had sex with him. But what was more important. To say he had loved it, he had loved his kisses, his touches, his smiles and caresses. He had loved everything from that man on that bed. And Masaki hated that fact. He hated how he loved all Sakurai could give to him.

*****

When he ended the shower, his hand put the towel around his waist to be able to return to his bedroom through that empty, dark hallway full of doors at both sides. Then, remembering how he had shouted at Ohno before going away, Aiba did not dare to come in the room. He was not able to face his friend and have to lie not to tell he had shared the same bed with the rector and not technically to sleep. However, he was already cold and wet there, so his desire of dressing was higher than his fear of what Ohno could ask. Then, his hand grabbed the door handle and opened it, trying to come inside looking normal. Instead, he found Ohno already sleeping in his bed, facing the wall as signaling he was really disturbed by his behaviour. Aiba only sighed, knowing he had messed all up with his friend. Maybe he was right after all and losing all his friends was the price he had to pay…

Not even wanting to have dinner anymore, being physically and mentally tired, he dressed comfortable clothes and lay down on his bed. He closed his eyes, but even if he was horribly sleepy, there was no way he could fall asleep as easy as that. His mind was going to torture him the whole night, thinking a lot of questions which were made by all the fears inside of him. How scared was he after having sex with the rector? It was a new feeling. Not like he was watching a horror movie, but more like a sense of fear mixed with frustration, rage and helplessness. He sighed, trying to calm his thoughts and see if that night was not going to be that long.

However, suddenly, a voice echoed in the bedroom. “Only one thing more” Ohno spoke with husky voice. It seemed like he could not sleep either. “It’s my business too because you're my friend” that hasty confession made Aiba open his eyes, understanding that the impetus for knowing what had happened was not just by simple curiosity, but by real concern. Only Ninomiya and Ohno knew his feelings and what had happened, it was normal that now, Ohno asked when he saw such a thing. So the minimum thing he could do was telling him the truth.

“I lied to you” Aiba replied with tears in his eyes by all the guilt he was feeling. “I didn’t meet Jun” those words were hard to pronounce, but nothing was worse than saying the complete truth. “This morning what Sakurai wanted was meeting this evening in his house. And we had sex” his hands went to cover his eyes as they were crying. Maybe saying what had happened was making him understand the reality of his situation. Perhaps only then, he was realizing the fact of what he had lived.

“So the hickey was his” Satoshi only affirmed that and Aiba replied with a vague yes. Then, a tense silence was created and the student did not know what his roommate was thinking, what was getting him more and more nervous. “Why did you lie, though?” suddenly, he asked, the tone in his voice changing to a hurtful one.

“I don't know…” he answered right after hearing it. “After what I said to both of you, I wasn't able to continue telling what I do with Sakurai to you” Aiba confessed being really ashamed by his behaviour. He did not know how Satoshi would react; he was expecting anger and harsh words, but instead, he received a surprising reply.

“We're here for anything. I know our plans were a fail, but because we were getting into your life too much. We will always be here to listen to you. So please, don't lie to us” Ohno commented with his soft voice and Aiba could not control his tears anymore. When he thought he was losing every single friend, he found out such incredible people beside him. At that moment, he could not feel luckier. “And tell me. Did he treat you gently?” Ohno turned around to look at his roommate even if they were in the darkness, only having the light which came in through the window.

“He was amazing” Aiba looked at him back from his bed. He was smiling shyly. “I didn't know having sex with a man was that incredible” he spoke feeling his cheeks as burning. Luckily, Ohno could not see that much.

“But you were on top or bottom?” Satoshi asked naïvely. Hastily, Aiba frowned.

“On top, he let me…” his confession was a low whisper in that bedroom. For some reason, he was really embarrassed for being talking with his friend about his sexual meetings. He had never done it before about any girl.

“Ah, then, you still don't know how good it can be yet” his friend chuckled softly, leaving Masaki wondering what he meant.

“How good…?” Aiba repeated to get more info and Satoshi laughed again. Maybe that situation was amusing for him.

“Discover it by yourself” his friend turned around after such comment, wanting to sleep already and left Aiba with the doubt of what he meant. At the same time, it was mixed with the curiosity of when he was watching Sho meanwhile and Masaki truly wondered if that was as good as everyone seemed to say indirectly. Then, the boy rethought the possibility of letting Sakurai do it if there would be next time and his stomach was squeezed by the sudden pleasure that random option gave to him. He might be embarrassed and regretting it, but so deep inside of him, he knew he would fall thousands of times if Sho was who seduced him.

*****

After having had sex, a great sleep and a big breakfast in the cafeteria of the university beside his two friends, Aiba was feeling really good physically, and it was reflected on his face. That was why Ninomiya was asking constantly if something new had happened to make Aiba change from being depressive to be a sunshine. Ohno remained in silence, as telling Aiba he was who had to say it and not him. Masaki understood it and did the step of at least giving information to Nino to tell him his plan worked somehow because he ended up on the same bed as the rector. He flushed again while speaking it up and more when Ninomiya shouted a victorious yes in the middle of the cafeteria.

“I knew it!” he said lower. “And for when the next time?” suddenly, he asked and left Aiba speechless. What did he mean? Next time of what? Should he have a next time already talked with Sho?

“I don't know” he tried to explain. “We didn’t talk about a next time” his voice decreased as he ended the sentence because of the face he was seeing in Ninomiya.

“What?” he sounded offended. “At least tell me you have your number or he has yours, please” his friend spoke nervously and closed his eyes when Aiba shook his head as a negative sign. “Then, don't expect a second time…” Kazunari replied straight, not thinking about what Aiba could understand from that hasty comment.

“But if I told him I wanted to repeat it…” Masaki was really shocked with what Ninomiya was telling him.

“But that's not enough!” the young boy exclaimed before sighing heavily. “If only giving a phone number is already a risk, can you guess the mistake you did by not talking about hour and place for the next?” Ninomiya continued complaining and scolding his friend, taking that too far for what Aiba was used to.

“Calm down” Ohno interfered suddenly. “This can be used as a proof to see if Sakurai wants more or just desired a fuck” his wisdom talked and Masaki thanked him mentally, also seeing a new objective to follow. Waiting for Sho to do a step because Aiba did the very first one between them after all.

“I hope you're right, Satoshi” Ninomiya threatened his boyfriend with his finger and changed person to look at. “If what he says arrives, don't fail to get his number. Number is equal to power. Remember it” the crazy boy started to say before standing up and leaving his tray in the dirty stuff. After, he returned and kissed Ohno softly. “I will see you after, bye” he waved his hand, caught his bag and crossed the cafeteria running because he was late. Right after watching how he disappeared, Aiba sighed and brushed his hair thinking if telling him had been a good idea.

“I will control him, meanwhile, try to get his number as you can” Ohno stood up with a hand on his shoulder and Masaki could only turn around and frown.

“You too?” he asked tiredly of everyone.

“He may seem as crazy, but number is power” he repeated seriously and caught his bag to went out of there, leaving him alone, thinking he had a bunch of mad people around him.

“And how could I…?”

*****

It was impossible there was a possibility of his mind focusing on the lesson. Neither technology nor biology could catch his attention, all which was occupying his mind was Sho. On a bed. In a bathroom. In the shower. On a desk. That was all he cared about that morning. Spending time with the rector had changed him. Now he was realizing only studying did not make him happy, he needed the adrenaline he had felt the previous day. To feel alive. To do crazy things. To hide and keep secrets. To do forbidden things. But what he loved the most. To seduce and get one of the most inaccessible men of his life. Sakurai Sho. All the times he wanted. He desired him so much he was even thinking of risking all to go to his office and do what Ninomiya had told him, to ask his phone number and also, a few kisses.

He smiled while licking his lip, knowing he was crazy, that he was not in the right path, but he could not wait any single second more to see that man. He could not wait to see if Sho chased him or not. His will was inexistent if it was related to the rector. And as if he was living a dream, when he opened his eyes, because the bell to start the new lesson had rung already, he found his teacher followed by a man in a suit. Low shouts and murmurs filled the class and the employee had to calm everyone down. Even Aiba himself.

“Today, our rector Sakurai Sho will give you all a talk about the part of economics we are studying now. As you possibly know, Sakurai Sho is licensed in economics at one of the most prestigious universities of our country, so listen very carefully” the teacher introduced him to the class and Sakurai did a step forwards.

“Good morning, everyone. First of all, I would like to ask you what you are good at” suddenly, he started his speech in such a way and it left Aiba frowning. A mix of feelings were inside of him, because his mind was not calm knowing last night they had had sex, but at the same time that question made him wonder what he liked as job or to study. Did he really know it? “Now, with that in your minds, I want to ask you if it makes you happy every time you do it” Sakurai did another step and Masaki got even more messed up. His goal was studying a career to have a proper job the next day, but he never thought if that was what he wanted, if that made him happy. Studying was truly a torture for him lately. “Only who thought it makes you happy, please raise your hand” Aiba thought there would possibly be a lot of people like him, who did not feel happy there, but by his surprise, almost the whole class did it and Aiba kept there as the black sheep. “And now, who thought it doesn't, please raise your hand” he added and Aiba rethought about doing it twice because that would mean that he and another three people would highlight in front of Sho and he would hate it. However, Sho had not stopped looking at him, so for sure he knew his choice; then, he raised his hand shyly, glancing at the whole class to find a hole and hide. “Who raised their hands, please stand up” the rector ordered and Aiba was really thinking that running away was the best idea he had ever had in years. “Let’s start with you, name and reason” suddenly, he pointed at Aiba and the latter widened his eyes, wanting to die at that moment and disappear forever.

“A-Aiba Masaki” he said his name although he was really sure it was not needed. “The reason?” he dared to ask back, but indeed he did not know. He had not thought about it properly. Should he be honest? “I never knew what I wanted to study. My parents kind of obligated me to choose a career and I just chose this one because it's which has more job options in a future” he spoke up, in front of around one hundred of people, in front of Sho. His whole body was trembling by the nerves.

“So, if right now I kick you out, you don't have anything to lose, right?” Sho asked suddenly, what Aiba read between the lines to get the secret meaning. It was not like he did it because he did not care about his career, doing it with him made him realize the importance of what he was doing with his life.

“I feel sorrier for everyone who I'd leave here than for not getting the career” he commented relaxedly, as if only Sho and he were talking privately. With the difference that what they truly wanted to say had to be hidden as Aiba with _everyone_ just now.

“People like you shouldn't be here” the rector spoke despicably and everyone was shocked. Less Aiba. What was more, he thanked him for saying that. “Because you know? The jobs you aspire to aren't easy unless you like it, you're good at it, you feel happy doing it” he changed subject suddenly, linking it to the part of economics they were studying, as if Sho had already predicted someone would say what Aiba did. “Then, with this said, I'd like to invite the few, who are here just to be here, to leave this class. Spend the rest of it outside, thinking what you truly want to do” Sakurai spoke, leaving everyone speechless, even the student himself. However, doing what he said, Aiba started to put his stuff in his bag and went downstairs. By the silence in class, he knew only he was leaving, but he did not care, it was not like he wanted to remain there either. So when he headed to the door, Sho took advantage of not having the teacher near to mutter something to Aiba when he was walking in front of him. He only nodded and went out without looking back. Right now, he doubted he could choose worse than what he had been doing for two years.

*****

When the bell rang as signal of classes ending, Aiba took his bag from the grass of the campus and started to walk to the building. He had been thinking, all the time Sho had given to him had been spent on wondering a lot of things as his future, likes or desires. He needed to have that clear or he would not be able to progress as person. Thanks to Sho, today he had seen it. That was why he was walking through hallways, dodging people, going upstairs three times until finally finding the door he was searching for. He wondered if Sho was already in his office to talk, but he had walked slowly so for sure he had arrived on time. Then, he knocked on the wood and heard a voice letting him come inside. Aiba did that, closing the door behind him and sitting on a chair in front of the rector, who was looking at him with serious eyes.

“What have you told me to come for?” Masaki started the chat, not caring already too much about his way of talking with Sho. So deep inside he did not want to talk, just sit over him and hug his neck for a while.

“Why now don't you know anymore what to do? Last week you seemed like really caring about it” Sho asked while his eyes were piercing into Aiba's.

“I only cared about how much I worked to have my parents happy. I didn’t want it to be in vain, but also I didn't want to be a failure for them” Masaki explained without any type of slyness.

“And you? Where's your own opinion?” Sakurai continued getting information and answers. Aiba only did a sarcastic smile, though.

“I wonder where it is…” the student lowered his head, trying to contain the tears in his eyes unsuccessfully. He was so lost, so overwhelmed, so scared of realizing that the life which seemed as almost perfect was a complete fail. He had failed to himself and there was nothing what could be worse.

“Hey, Aiba. Aiba, look at me” Sho tried to catch his attention, but the boy was too ashamed of that situation. That was why the rector stood up to sit on the chair next to Aiba's. He grabbed his hand over his knee and caressed his cheek with the other, wiping a tear. “Everyone can have doubts, everyone can do mistakes, everyone has to learn to live” he spoke softly, finally gaining that his eyes were raised shyly. “You’re still on time to change what you don't like and start again. Never give up, Aiba” his message was pretty clear and somehow it gave him strength to think for a solution. A big gratefulness appeared inside of his chest which became bravery and Masaki could not control it, making his face approach Sho's to kiss his lips gently as thank you. The rector returned it luckily and made it harder, tilting both heads to deepen it. One of the times they stopped to breathe, Aiba dared to ask it.

“When will we be able to meet again?” that change of subject surprised Sho, but at the same time, it showed him how the student needed to know.

“I don't know, it's really difficult with my job, your classes and Jun in home” he spoke, breaking his hopes without knowing it. That was why Aiba started to think crazy ideas.

“And what about doing it here or in a toilet…?” he bit his lower lip, as if he was crazy about being with Sho again and the man only laughed.

“I’m already old enough to know that it's a bad idea in public places” he answered and Aiba frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“That you're still young to do it without thinking, but I'm not” Sakurai caressed his face softly and the student sighed. Only then he remembered that the rector was fifteen years older than him.

“Then…” suddenly, Ninomiya appeared in his mind. “Give me your phone number and we will call each other if we have a free moment” he proposed it as an innocent idea, possibly thinking that would be easier than what he had expected before. However, he saw how Sho's face changed drastically and he stood up, breaking any contact they had.

“I find that unnecessarily” he sat again on his chair and began to use his computer. Masaki wondered why he was so bothered suddenly, it did not have sense at all.

“Why? We would send a message to meet easily” he insisted, but only gained an angry gaze by Sakurai.

“I said no” that was his brief answer and Aiba clicked his tongue, at what the rector paid excessive attention. “Do you have a problem?” his voice reflected how his mood was really bad, but the student did not care.

“Yes, with you” he was brave and stood up. “I try to spend time with you, to find solutions for it, and you only say no to everything. It won't be me who will keep chasing you” he confessed without thinking and regretted it right after stopping talking. He frowned knowing Sakurai would send him to hell forever, but as long as the rector only kept in silence, totally shocked about it, Aiba continued with his attack of bravery to grab a post-it from Sho's, steal his pen from his hand and write his number on it. “You can use it or break it” then, Aiba caught his bag to turn around and approach the door. Right before opening it, Sho spoke.

“I’ll send you a message after” his voice sounded as defeated and Aiba smiled, knowing he had won although it could have messed everything up too. He did not look back, though, and went out victoriously. Now, he would only check his phone, awaiting that message the whole day.

*****

**From::** Unknown

_This is my phone number, don't dare to give it to anyone, okay?_

_If you want to meet today, it has to be in your bedroom. I will go at around 9 pm. Be sure of being alone._

Aiba read with widened eyes and ran to arrive to his bedroom so he would kick Satoshi out as soon as possible because it was 8:30 pm already. He opened the door finding the couple on Ohno's bed starting what Aiba would have never wanted to see. Luckily only the T-shirts were on the floor.

“What the fuck?! Aiba, go away!” Satoshi spat turning around over Ninomiya. Masaki still ran to tidy up the whole bedroom.

“No, no, no. The ones who will have to go are you, please” he did not explain that and just said it, what provoked Ohno stood up to stop him angrily.

“Didn’t I tell you today I needed the bedroom with Kazunari?” he reminded it to him and Masaki nodded, knowing he was right, but things had changed.

“Yes, and I'm sorry, but I truly need the bedroom. You still have Ninomiya's” he tried to convince them without saying he would spend the night with Sho or that he had just sent a message to him. That would just make Ninomiya go crazy when he had only twenty minutes left.

“Why do you need it? It can be only for having sex and I only know a person” Kazunari stood up to hug Ohno by behind excitedly. Possibly he was already imagining all the truth, but obligated him to speak it up.

“Okay, okay. He will come here to be with me at nine o'clock so please” Masaki continued cleaning around, the clothes out of his closet, the desk full of papers, the bed being a mess, who knew how long he had kept the same sheets. It was a complete disaster.

“And why didn’t you tell me before?” Satoshi spoke innocently while grabbing his T-shirt to dress it and go away with his boyfriend. Aiba could lie, but he did not want to do such a thing again and prefer just to murmur it and see if they could hear it.

“He has just sent me a message…” the words were a whisper. However, his friends heard them perfectly.

“What?! Do you have his number?!” Ninomiya grabbed him happily.

“Yeah…” the student wanted to continue cleaning instead of answering the fangirl questions of Ninomiya. He seemed as loving gossips and soap operas.

“Okay! Satoshi, we need to go, c'mon on!” suddenly, the younger boy grabbed his partner to go away of the room in no time and that only made Aiba check the clock, realizing he only had five minutes more to change that dump into a normal bedroom. Unluckily, he heard a knock on the door. He panicked, absolutely panicked because only at that moment, he remembered he had not gotten ready for him, he was still with the same clothes, sweaty and with tired face. So Aiba hated himself mentally and went to open the door.

In front of him, a man in suit appeared with a naughty smile and came inside suddenly, so Aiba would not expect Sho embracing his waist while his lips searched for the student's ones and his free arm closed the door to be alone. There were no words, no questions, no stops. Aiba felt so good now he was kissing him, there was no way he would break that moment. Then, his hands caught his neck to caress his jaw with his thumbs as he was feeling how the rector was pushing him against his body by touching his butt. He was being so savage Aiba ended up breathing heavily when they stopped kissing. Their noses were rubbed as provoking each other to kiss again, even the student licked Sakurai's lower lip hastily. He was loving it.

However, that moment was broken when the door was opened behind Sho. Aiba knew it could only be Satoshi, but under his hands, he felt a tense man in the verge of a heart attack. They both did a step backwards to separate while that sleepy man approached the nightstand beside his bed. “I'm sorry, Kazu became so insistent with getting a condom” Satoshi apologized as his hands were breaking one from the plastic.

“I don't blame him” Masaki chuckled knowing that Ohno had truly gotten tons of girls to have sex, so it was normal if now Ninomiya wanted Ohno with a plastic surrounding all of him.

“I won't talk” his friend muttered as biting his tongue. “You can grab one if you need it” the older man told him and Aiba sighed not knowing why he did not disappear as a shooting star.

“Okay, okay, now go away, c'mon dude” the taller man pushed his friend out of the bedroom because for some reason, Satoshi was taking too long to return with his partner. After, Aiba locked the room with his key so at least he would hear if someone was trying to come inside and approached Sho, who had been looking at the wall constantly, trying to be invisible for Ohno. “I’m sorry, my friends are kind of special” he said embarrassed, but Sakurai only gave him a sad gaze.

“By his zero reaction, I assume he knows” that was the only thing he said and Masaki knew he was really fucked up.

“Yeah, Ohno and Nino know about this, but-“

“What didn’t you understand from _this is a secret between us_?” he spat with disappointed gaze. Masaki lowered his head, knowing their secret had stopped being a secret right after someone else knew it. What could he do to fix it?

“They are my best friends, we know all about each other so-“

“This is not a game for teenagers, Masaki!” he shouted finally. Ending the sentence with his name, what somehow made his heart to skip a beat.

“I don't treat this as a game” he tried to defend himself with soft voice, looking completely serious and calmed, but Sho was really affected by the fact that two people knew about them having an affair. “If they hadn't helped me, I probably would have never kissed you, I probably would have given up on you just thinking that admiring you each time we met was enough” that was the only solution he could think about; opening himself, getting naked in front of that man who looked taken aback for such words. “They did crazy plans to make me be alone with you, they encouraged me to do a step, they calmed me down when I was horribly scared. Even when I lied to them just to keep our secret, they figured me out and told me I can count on them no matter what. I know you may think they can betray me, but I'm sure-“ his words were stopped by a sudden, gentle kiss on his lips. Masaki closed his eyes, thinking he was melting by living such a romantic movie scene.

“Don’t be this honest so suddenly” he sighed against his lips and Aiba smiled slightly.

“It’s the truth” the student muttered touching Sho's mouth provocatively and the rector answered by biting his lower lip. Then, his hands grabbed tightly the jacket of his suit and attracted his body closer. They did not kiss, just had their foreheads and noses touching while starting to remove the jacket which ended up on the floor not mattering how expensive it could be; Aiba caught the tie knot to pull from it and undo it. Meanwhile, he felt how Sakurai was just raising his T-shirt and hating it, they had to separate to take it off in a second, accompanied by the tie and by a man who threw himself to kiss his neck hastily. Masaki grabbed his hair and gasped full of pleasure, that was really amazing.

Impatiently, the student searched for his lips to kiss hard, starting a dance with their tongues where low gasps echoed into each other's mouth. His hands were lowered to get what he desired that night without a doubt. Not anymore. His mind was really desiring Sho and no one else. It was like as long as they had already done it, no matter if they repeated it thousands of times, they would have the same consequences if they were figured out. So that was why he did not bother himself by wondering if what they were living was right or wrong. After all, for some people it might be so wrong because of their statuses, but for other people it might be right because love does not understand age, situation or gender. So he chose the second option, to believe they were being just victims of the love attraction, its power, its spell. They were falling into its trap where everything consisted of them as center of the world. The rest did not matter.

That was why he was not controlling his low moans when Sho started to touch him. Aiba knew so well his voice attracted the rector too much like not doing it and wasting the chance to drive him crazy. He was so into giving all to Sakurai that night that, when he realized it, that man was over him, ready to make him lose his virginity through his ass. He was kind of scared because of a mix of things as pain or stupid questions created by doubts, but when he looked into his eyes, Masaki only begged him to do it with a whisper while his hands were ready to handle it by scratching his back and grabbing his hair. He would bet Sakurai was bleeding from his skin after the first time, not because of pain, but because of the hard pleasure he could not believe it was real. Meanwhile, the rector was brushing his hair softly, leaving small kisses all around his jaw and neck.

So that was why Ohno said that last night, that was why Sakurai was loving it during their first meeting; he was understanding a lot of things at that moment although he had his eyes closed strongly and his mind was blank by the sweet moves Sho was doing. He was so gentle Aiba needed to thank him by kissing his lips slowly, gaining a wonderful smile which was contagious, ending up smiling together while having their noses touching. Could he call that just a fuck? Could he say that Sho and he were nothing? Could he affirm they were just two men who wanted to have sex? Because he could not even though Aiba would love to do it. Everything would be easier. However, his heart started to ache by the feelings inside of him every time Sakurai did another gentle move. It was impossible he could deny the rector did not mean something to him when Aiba was already wondering if it was more than liking him. If he was beginning to feel something so hard inside of him. If he was beginning to maybe fall in love with Sho.

And only then, he realized how much he was going to suffer.

*****

It was impossible to know where he was or what was surrounding him, because he was usually so cold in the mornings, but that day, a comfortable warmth was against his skin. Then, with his hand, it got shape becoming a torso and it went down through his right side of the abdominals, crossing his belly too and before reaching the bottom, he raised it again until his neck with a smile to breathe heavily and kiss his jaw. Suddenly, Masaki felt how that man under him moved to place him over the mattress and be on top. At that moment, they looked at each other and Sho kissed him as trying to start something that morning. Maybe his stamina had been recovered and now it was time to repeat what they did once last night. So Aiba hugged his neck and grabbed his hair to make him go to suck his neck. A small giggle filled the room accompanied low sounds and gasps. He found a chance when his hand could be lowered until getting inside his boxers and massaging his butt tightly to make it crash against his crotch. He was damning those two fabrics which covered their intimate parts, that was why he started to lower it as Sho was already licking his hard nipple.

“Don’t take too long and go straight…” Masaki complained, wanting to taste that unreasonable pleasure once again. Being unable to wait, he set it free seeing he had woken up really happy that morning and Aiba bit his lower lip when Sho opened his underwear from a leg to introduce it inside and rub it beside Aiba's. The rector was searching the maximum pleasure through his neck, ear and jaw when Masaki moaned suddenly and a voice echoed in the room.

“What the fuck…?! At least cover yourselves!” a man in the other bed spat disturbed while sitting and covering his eyes. The couple horribly panicked and got separated in a second, placing their underwear correctly. Sho closed his eyes and kept sitting on the bed looking at the wall as Aiba just showed his anger.

“Ohno, what the fuck are you doing here?!” he shouted embarrassed by that situation. A bit more and they would have ended having him beside them.

“Eh, I don't know?! Maybe it's my bedroom too?!” Satoshi stood up disappointed to start to get dressed.

“Weren't you with Nino?” Aiba asked while picking up their clothes from the floor to give them to Sho, who could not stop looking at the wall by the embarrassment.

“After fucking he kicked me out, I wonder if he only wants me to fuck or what” he spoke up before leaning on the desk quite upset by that. In that situation, Masaki approached him to pat his shoulder.

“Nino is in love with you, there's no way he only wants sex. Why don't you try to have a date?” he proposed with a radiant smile knowing they both needed one finally. Ohno frowned, though.

“I don't think he would accept” his friend sighed sadly.

“If he's in love, he will accept” he supported him being sure about his words.

“How do you know it?”

“Because Nino and I work alike in love” he answered with shining eyes, really trusting his intuition. But suddenly, a man, who was standing up already half dressed, caught his attention and remembered the main problem there. “Here you have” he caught the tie beside his feet to give it to Sho, who had not spoken since Ohno woke up.

“If you're thinking about going out at this hour, you're crazy” suddenly his roommate spoke while wandering around the room to take his own clothes.

“Now everyone is going to classes and so…” Aiba sighed as his eyes were closed tightly to think of a plan quickly.

“Also… Nino is about to arriv-“ hastily, the door was opened because someone forgot to lock it when he returned in the middle of the night and the boy, who appeared, widened his eyes when he found the rector there. He raised his eyebrows and closed the door still looking at the three men who kept staring at him as if he was an alien.

“Hi…” he dared to speak and approached Ohno to peck his lips as a greeting, after returning to look at the other couple still taken aback.

“Okay! Everything's under control!” Aiba broke the ice with that shout and approached the door to check how crowded the hallway was. Indeed, it was the main hour to go out and walk around so it was impossible Sho would not be recognized. So when he turned around with pale expression, Sakurai sighed and caught his jacket to walk towards Aiba.

“You control nothing. Let me go and I'll find an excuse” his hand was placed over Aiba's arm to move him, but the student refused to do it, staying in front of him with serious expression.

“There’s no valid excuse. Just wait a bit until it will be empty” Masaki tried to convince him. However, Sakurai seemed as decided.

“Even if I wait, I wear the same clothes as yesterday, don't you think it's already a reason?” he looked up tiredly, as if he was already giving up in that lie called relationship. He was right, though. And maybe because of that, Aiba was really angry.

“A reason to think you spent the night with someone, possibly a woman. Not with a student as they'll think if you go out now” Masaki added more arguments to make him see he was right. But he only got a deep sigh and a head which was lowered in front of his eyes. What was going on with him that morning?

“And what if I don't want them to think the first, but the second?” suddenly, Sho answered straight, setting clear his opinion, what shocked Aiba until the limit of being blank. What did that mean? Did he want everyone to know their affair? Did he want them to think he liked men too? That was really fast considering they started to settle something the previous day. Right now, Aiba's mind was burning. It was not able to assimilate it. So that was why the student just approached him and kissed his lips softly, just hearing Nino's low surprise and feeling Sho's hands over his waist. At that moment, he was wondering why he was doing that, in a bedroom with a lot of people outside, with his two friends watching them, when they were not relaxed, but heavily tense by the situation. So he wondered why he needed his lips that badly and more when the kiss was broken and Sho hugged him, his neck tasting the gentle touch of his nose.

“Believe me when I say I wish this weren't so complicated” he spoke beside his ear, creating a sense of frustration inside of his stomach by being unable to change anything. Then, to hide it and make things go better, he separated him and smiled brightly.

“It's okay, we can overcome this” that was the only thing he thought of, but it seemed as having done a great impact in Sho, who drew a weak smile on his face and nodded. “Now, we will wait until there will be no one and done” he grabbed his hand to pull him until the bed to sit and look more relaxed. However, Ninomiya opened his mouth while checking his phone.

“Jun is coming here” he spoke up hastily, producing two heart attacks in the couple. Suddenly, who panicked this time was Aiba and he stood up as a spring.

“What?! No! Tell him I'm not here! That I'm… in the cafeteria!” he saw how Nino answered him by typing on the keyboard really fast and immediately they received a reply.

“He says that it's okay” everyone could sigh relieved and Masaki started to change his clothes to arrive on time without seeming suspicious. Meanwhile, Sho kept on his bed and the couple remained beside the desk. Probably everyone was thinking the same. One thing which only Sho dared to ask.

“And why don't you tell Jun?” his voice was rather than upset, curious. As if it was his decision to tell Jun or not despite if Sho was his uncle.

“Are you crazy? He'd hate me. For sure he thinks I just want you for higher marks and I've used him to reach you… It would be like betraying him…” he spoke with sad voice as his hands could not go faster.

“It's impossible he thinks-“

“He does. Even you did at first. He has always lived surrounded by people who just wanted him to be with you. Now that he trust me, I don't want to hurt him as those assholes did back then” Masaki answered really serious, ending his speech while looking straight to Sho. He could figure out guilt and sadness. Might he not know it? Did Jun not tell him? How was that possible? The student felt so horribly bad for him that he kneeled in front of him. “Don’t blame yourself. He's okay with it. Now he has good friends” Masaki smiled, praying that had calmed him.

“C’mon, he's waiting for you” instead, Sho changed subject. Nobody knew if he did because he did not know what to answer or because be did not want to reply, but that reminded Aiba he needed to run so he stood up and caught his bag.

“Can you help him to-“

“Of course! Just run now, stupid!” Ninomiya shouted at him while laughing and Aiba got out of the bedroom, looking back once more time before closing the door to smile at Sakurai who returned it sweetly. Just at that moment, when he had that image stuck in his mind while walking through the hallway, he understood he was in love with Sho. So much it was impossible to control. What should he do? Was confessing to Sho a good idea? He doubted it. He was not ready either. The most they had said was they wanted to have sex, but no one reached the next step. He was not sure the rector would choose him for something more serious than this. It was impossible that someone like him would be with a simple boy as Aiba. That was why everything was still seeming like a dream he did not want to wake up from yet.

And by thinking about that, he arrived to the cafeteria. Now it was time to look as if he did not know Jun was around and was searching for him. He needed those skills of lying again back even though he hated them. It was for a good reason. So he approached to buy a coffee and when he turned around, he saw a man waving at him with a smile. After all, they were not bad with each other anymore. So that Aiba walked until him and they greeted as always, what made him have a little bit more of confidence. Then, they sat around a table there, beside a big window which showed the campus full of people going here and there.

“First of all, Jun. I want to apologize for-“

“Hey! Don't even worry about that! I overreacted too so it's forgotten” Matsumoto reassured him with a good mood it was so weird in him. That made Aiba frown, but he smiled right after not to be caught.

“Thank you then” somehow he needed to answer back so the conversation would not die and to search another subject. “And why did you want to see me early in the morning? It's really weird in you” he laughed knowing his friend was impossible to wake up in the mornings. What made everything odder was that Jun smirked deeply.

“You won't believe what I've found in my house” the expectation grew up and the older man approached to him, what indicated to Aiba that he had to do the same. “I was cleaning around when I went to change the plastic bag of my uncle's room and I found an _used_ condom in it” he spoke with an incredibly happy face, but at the same time, in front of him, Masaki was losing all the colour in his skin, having the tension under the floor. What had he just said?

“B-but Jun… That can means a lo-“

“That means that he has found someone!” Matsumoto's eyes shone as never before. Aiba was feeling the worst person in that world. Because he knew that someone was him and he was unable to say it aloud. Possibly it was just a selfish decision, after all he did not want to lose his friend, but indeed he did not want to hurt Jun either. So what should he do?

“And do you have a hint of who can be?” he tried to get information with innocent questions.

“No, but that's why you're here” suddenly, Jun said that and Aiba opened his mouth. “You will help me to know who is”

At that moment, Aiba knew he was really fucked.

*****

Their only option was remaining in silence and hidden, avoiding being in public and any type of contact, doing as if they did not know each other as they started to do since that day on. They promised to be more careful in the future. That was why they did not meet if they were not completely sure it was safe to be stay relaxed beside the other. The most they did was a few kisses once in a toilet when the side of classes was already closed and no one was around. What happened there was wild and savage, their hands tried to remove everything and touch all they could. The need inside of them was harder already than any type of concern about their situation, because after two months like that, without any single moment alone due to diverse causes, Aiba could feel how his body reacted to just his gaze when they saw each other through the hallways or how impatience filled him when they met in a toilet to drive each other crazy for a while. Never ending as they would like, but at least releasing all the tension both were handling due to work and exams.

Luckily, summer holidays were arriving and it seemed like having more free time. Masaki was thinking it would be horribly nice to ask him for a walk or for a meal together, things they could not have ever done due to their roles in the university. However, he was not brave enough to do it because for some reason he was sure of the negative he would gain followed by plain complains. So he let the time go by, just loving those small moments and some message they exchanged when the waiting was killing them both. Just a simple _how are you_ or _what are you doing_ were already enough to get a smile from the student who answered fast to see if Sho was missing him as much as he was doing it. Until one day, when he was dying by heat on his bed before sleeping and he was texting Sho casually.

**From::** Aiba Masaki

_Finally, I've ended all my exams and I'm free! I thought I was going to die… And you? How are you doing?_

**From::** Sakurai Sho

_Really tired, but finally I've ended too. Also casually, Jun has a party this night and he won't come back until tomorrow. If you want to spend the evening with me…_

Aiba read the message almost having a heart attack by that sudden, but precious proposal. He would love it, he was truly missing him, the student could not handle any single day more without a proper moment with Sho, just being alone, without that concern of being discovered, without that fear of the consequences. In his house they were safe as long as Jun was not there, so it was a precious moment to take advantage of.

**From::** Aiba Masaki

_Wait for me. I will take the first available bus!_

**From::** Sakurai Sho

_As impatient as always…_

Aiba chuckled when he read his message and dressed a clean shirt before taking his stuff and go out from the bedroom which was empty because Ohno and Nino had finally had that famous date after several days trying to convince Ohno to ask it. So not to worry him, he wrote down a note telling him he was in Sakurai's house and pasted it on his bed so he would see it. After that, he went out in a hurry to pick up the bus which was already waiting for passengers to get in. Luckily there were many people so he ran, arriving on time. Once inside, he could not control his smile, thinking the moment he had been waiting for the last weeks was already in front of his eyes. During that time, their confidence grew up a lot, so now the wonder was how different this meeting would be from the previous ones. He could not wait to see him and check it. How much they had missed each other.

So being a ball of nerves, the bus arrived to his destiny and he got out, feeling the last hot sunshine from the horizon. He smiled giving encouragement to himself and headed to Sho's house with fast strides. Luckily the street was not that long and when he wanted to realize it, he was pressing the bell. He was so excited his smile was wide on his face and it shone Sakurai when he opened the door. The rector returned it and offered a hand, which Aiba caught, feeling it really soft, and he came inside. Once they were alone, Aiba trapped the rector against the wall while chuckling slightly and gained two hands surrounding his cheeks. The student attracted him closer by touching his hips before stealing a peck from Sho's lips. Then, Sakurai embraced his neck to kiss him suddenly, stopping their smiles abruptly, awakening their lusts hastily. And Aiba could understand it as that was how he had missed him.

Then, to breathe again, Sho broke the kiss and kept with their lips barely touching. “I was thinking of changing plans today” he bit his own lower lip. Aiba frowned, truly wondering what he meant. “I thought we could have dinner together before it” he spoke with gentle, nervous voice, leaving Aiba speechless. What did that mean? He thought their future was just continuing meeting to go straight to the bed, so Masaki never saw the possibility of having dinner together or talking as… As a real couple. Maybe, did Sho want more?

“I'd love to” he answered with a brilliant smile. For some reason, Sakurai released all the air inside his lungs and smiled back, as if he was worried about his answer. He found that detail really cute and made him want to kiss his lips for last time before walking to the living room.

“Take a seat, then. I will order the dinner” Sho told him already walking to grab a book and his phone. He searched for a number and called. Meanwhile, Aiba sat on the sofa, on the same spot he sat the last time he was there and the memory of kissing him for first time came back. Thanks to that kiss, he could be that day beside Sho. So he thanked mentally his friends. Because now he could have his man ordering food for them and when he ended, Aiba was able to smile at him and watch how Sakurai approached to sit beside him, on the same spot as the last time, and whispered on his ear. “Has no one ever told you you're beautiful?” his voice, as gentle as the pure wind, spoke that question without a glimpse of embarrassment. Then, those lips sucked slightly his earlobe and went down to kiss his neck. However, Aiba moved his head not to let him, being horribly flushed and nervous, and turned around to face him on the sofa.

“What are you saying?” he laughed nervously, but at the same time kind of lost and uncomfortable. He did not know why, though. The rector sighed amusedly.

“Is that how you accept my flatteries?” he titled his head slightly so his hair would get a sexy shape. Aiba did not understand anything and continued feeling weird there.

“It's because I don’t know why you said that” he clarified with soft voice, but his face began to lose that smile bit by bit. Why was he feeling so bothered regarding that comment? Why did it make him feel so uncomfortable and moody suddenly? It should be the opposite, right?

“Can’t I?” Sakurai finally understood the negative impact it had had on Aiba and got tense, leaving a great space between them.

“It’s not like you can't…” Masaki insisted looking away. Why was he feeling down? “But I'd like you not saying such things…” he wondered if that was true. If he desired that Sho would stop saying those cute things to him.

“Why?” the rector asked with frowned gaze. Possibly he was understanding nothing.

_Because that only makes me fall in love with you even more…_

“You were so sudden!” he laughed to remove the tension in the ambient. “No one has ever told me that so it's natural if I'm so embarrassed now!” Aiba continued laughing to hide the real meaning of his behaviour. Somehow, Sho did not seem as believing him too much, but accepted it by smiling and nodding.

“Sorry, sorry. Next time I will not be that straight” the rector leaned on the sofa back to look at the nowhere. Indeed, their good vibes had disappeared because of his strange behaviour when Sho was just trying to be really nice and playful. So somehow, Aiba felt with the need of fixing that tension and space between them. That was why the student approached and, repeating the same steps as the first time, he sat over Sho's legs to be facing him. Then, he put their bodies truly touching and Masaki started to kiss his neck, feeling his goosebumps on his hands palms. Two hasty hands grabbed his butt tightly, giving an idea to Aiba. The boy started to move his hips forward and backwards to rub both crotches under their pants and suddenly, he heard an erotic gasp beside his ear.

“What are you doing…?” Sho muttered while being victim of his trap. Masaki continued moving slowly, feeling that mad pleasure each time they crashed. He did not answer either, the student was loving how Sho could fall so easily in his claws without a glimpse of resistance. For a second, he thought the rector was completely his. And the satisfaction he felt made him be wilder. His moves became faster and harder, not controlling his own gasps anymore. So when their gazes finally found each other, Sakurai was looking up, asking for more. Aiba grabbed his cheeks and kissed his soft lips gently as an apology for his reaction. He hoped Sakurai would understand it. Then, his partner's hands opened Aiba's shirt to remove it partly by just freeing his shoulders because Masaki did not let it drop from his arms. Slowly, Sakurai started to kiss and suck small parts from his right shoulder, reaching his neck at the end.

“I'm almost if you… do that…” Masaki complained and felt that smirk Sho had when he was loving his reaction. But suddenly, the bell was rung and they both kind of panicked. Sho stopped right away, wanting to open the door, but Aiba continued moving. “Let me come first…” he said flushed by the embarrassment that beg provoked in him. That was not valid for Sho who stood up with Aiba in his arms to drop him on the sofa as if he was a baby. The student sighed disturbed and stayed there, hearing how the rector was talking with the delivery man and closed the door. Then, he appeared with the food to leave it on the table and kneeled on the floor to start to prepare it. Aiba widened his eyes, being unable to understand what was happening. “Are you really going to leave me like this?” he sat on the sofa amazed by his behaviour. Sho looked back at his face and at his crotch after.

“You’re not the only one who's like that” he spoke calmly. Masaki got upset at the next second and moved to sit beside him on the floor. He frowned while grabbing a bit of food Sho had bought for them, but his stomach was weird enough not to be hungry. The silence filled the room again and Sho started to eat without any explanation more. Had they messed up the good moment again? “Why don't you eat?” the rector's voice sounded irritated.

“I’m not hungry anymore…” the answer was given honestly and straight.

“You’re just hungry for what you want” suddenly, Sho spat that without a reason and Aiba froze at that second. What did he mean? Why had he said that without thinking if that could hurt him? Why was he being so mean suddenly? With a knot in his throat, he dared to ask.

“What?” his voice was weak, reflecting how hard that hit him. Sho did not turn around to even glance at him.

“You only want me to fuck. It's okay, that was the original plan after all” those words made a hole in his heart. Hearing he was just using Sho destroyed him for some reason. He could not explain it, though. His eyes were at the verge of exploding by how hard he wanted to cry and he could only be guided by the anger inside of him. That was why he stood up, blinking to drop the tears needed to be able to see more than blurry stuff and shouted at Sho with all his might.

“You can go to the hell!” Aiba even hurt his throat by how loud he did it and rush to get out of there. At that moment, it was when he heard his name being spoken behind him, but there was no way he was able to turn around and look at him again. If Sakurai was okay by thinking he just wanted him for sexual purposes, Aiba was already tired of all that. They could not talk, they could not spend a normal time together. Maybe their fates were just that, mere sexual meetings instead of what Aiba was yearning for now. A serious relationship with Sho. Possibly, that was why his words had hurt him that much. Because it was the last thing he would ask between them.

*****

After a long trip since that house, Aiba arrived so late to his bedroom. He was tired, dirty because he had to walk all the way back by the lack of buses at that late hour, with swollen eyes by crying. He just prayed Ohno was already asleep so he would be able to go to sleep without giving explanations to anyone. But when he opened the door, the light hit his eyes, making him understand that would not happen. Ohno and Ninomiya approached him being so worried and wondering where he had been and what had happened. Aiba frowned and looked at Ohno. “Haven’t you seen my note?” he asked with tired voice. Ninomiya started to look around and grabbed a paper from the desk.

“Oh, c'mon Ohno, why don't you look better before worrying?” his partner scolded him. Aiba only approached his bed and fell on it, not wanting to know anything. However, his friends were really persistent.

“Hey, Aiba… What happened?” Ohno sat beside him while rubbing his back. Masaki only looked at the wall, resisting his desire to cry and tried to speak as clear as possible.

“It's nothing” it was evident he was really defeated that night and maybe because of that Ninomiya tried to help him.

“Satoshi, leave him alone for now. I think he needs to rest first” his friend spoke lowly to his partner with worried voice and somehow Aiba really thanked him mentally.

“Okay. We're here if you need us” Ohno kissed his hair and stood up.

“I think I will go to sleep too. Good night” the younger boy spoke with his partner lowly.

“Good night, Kazu” right after this, Aiba heard the sound of a kiss and a small giggle. Then, the door and Ohno lying down on his bed. But at that moment, he was already letting the tears fall wondering why he could not have a normal relationship as them. Why he could not have a partner of his same age. Why he could not have a normal situation to confess and progress. And that night had its climax when Aiba found out that he was horribly envious of his two friends. He was not able to see how they were so happy together and that just made himself feel as the worst person in that world.

*****

Ending already the first class of the morning, he checked his phone, still finding the message Sho had sent to him that morning and the one he had not been able to open and read. He was not ready yet so he just walked through the hallway, being in his own world without paying too much attention to his surrounding. So when someone grabbed his shoulder by behind, the jump Aiba did was pretty big. With the heart doing a marathon at that moment, he turned around, finding Jun in front of him. A great anxiety and guilt appeared in his stomach, not being even able to smile. However, the older boy greeted him and he had to answer back, hiding his real feelings.

“I have new info!” Jun embraced his shoulders and they continued walking through the hallway. Aiba answered as brief as possible because his voice was just a low, high pitched sound. “Yes! This may sound crazy, but I checked my uncle's phone and I found a message to that person” he spoke, leaving Aiba with a heart attack by his side. If he saw the message, he had to see the name of the contact too. Plus he had read that message even before him himself. So for sure this time, he would not need to act too much.

“And what was written?” he dared to ask, not really wanting to know in truth.

“It was weird, something like _I'm sorry for last night. I'm a mess, I need to see you and talk so please come to my office this evening at 7pm_ ” he retransmitted as if the message had been saved in his mind. Aiba wondered if that was what Sho had really written in it. But also, he started a dilemma when his anger disappeared with that apology… There was no way he was going to go, though. But he was feeling quite better after it. “And do you know the best?” suddenly, Jun continued talking. “That my uncle is gay” he confessed with calm voice. Aiba's tension reached the floor level, but trying to remain in the shadows yet, he faked his surprise.

“Really? And how do you know that?” at that moment, he would deserve an acting prize.

“Because of the name of the contact” that clarification made Aiba lose all the strength in his legs. “It said _my boy”_ he clarified and the young student widened his eyes. Why had he saved his number like that? Why had he written that? Perhaps… did Sho take Aiba as his boy? Slowly, his wall was starting to melt because he was knowing small details which were making him miss Sho as crazy. However, at the same time, Aiba was still so hurt because of that comment so he stayed in his position of taking a break from it.

“So you don't know who is, right?” he asked innocently, praying not to hear his name suddenly.

“At all” that made him sigh relieved and feel secure once again. “That’s why we have to go to that meeting and discover who is!” Jun planned abruptly and Masaki blinked several times trying to understand a small detail.

“We?” why did he say that in plural?

“Yes! Because you're gonna help me, right?” Matsumoto counted on him, but it was impossible Aiba would be in both places at the same time. Although, if he was so sure of not going to the meeting, no one would appear there, what would be odd, so he needed to convince Jun not to do such a crazy plan.

“It’s not like I don't want Jun, but don't you think you're going too far?” Aiba questioned him and his friend looked down. “Already checking his phone was breaking his privacy, so going there too…” he tried to sound logical in that madness. What Jun did not seem to pay attention to.

“I just want to make sure he's with a proper man. Someone who won't get him in trouble or won't hurt him” Matsumoto expressed his fear and that made Aiba have to swallow that knot in his throat. “It will be until we will see his face. After we will go away. Please, Aiba!” he begged his friend with cute face in front of him. Jun had always gotten everything when he used that tactic, so if now Aiba refused, it would stink so much.

“Okay, okay. But just five minutes!” he was going to regret it after, though…

*****

He had agreed on meeting ten minutes before with Jun in the toilets of the second floor, so they would not be caught by the security man who took care of the classes area in the nights. While he was waiting, he grabbed his phone and still saw the unread message. Since Jun told him its content, he wondered what was really written on it, but he had not been able to be brave and open it. However, it was already time to do it as long as it would be seven o'clock soon. So his finger tapped it and he started to read.

**From::** Sakurai Sho

_I'm sorry for last night. I'm a mess. I need to see you and talk so please come to my office this evening at 7pm._

That was all. What made Aiba frown. Was it exactly what Jun told him this afternoon? As if he had that message copied. No word was different. And it was too brief and mandatory from Sho and more when they had argued. The student could only close the message and wait for Jun, because there was something which stank too much there. So after a few minutes, Jun came in a hurry apologizing for being late. Aiba tried to seem normal so his doubts would not be clear and they went upstairs to head to the office. Once there, they hid in a near classroom, leaving the door a bit opened to be able to see. Masaki knew it was a loss of time, but somehow, he could save his ass like that.

Then, the time arrived but no one appeared as expected. Jun did not seem nervous beside him either, but rather serious and thoughtful. Suddenly, he saw how his friend checked his phone and sighed heavily. “What a shit…” he spoke in a mutter, at what Aiba asked what happened. “My uncle has just told me he's in home already” Matsumoto explained and that surprised Masaki more than he thought. Indeed, what was happening?

“Then… There's no meaning to remain here, right?” he spoke, somehow being glad this was going to end without a fail. His friend nodded and they went out of the class. In the hallway, in front of the stairs, Jun excused himself to go to the toilet urgently and ran to it, leaving Aiba alone there. He sighed wondering what was wrong with him and leaned on the wall to wait there. He was afraid the security man would appear at any time so when a door near him was opened, Aiba got scared really fast. He turned around just discovering that man in front of him again going out of his office.

“Aiba… What are you doing here?” Sakurai Sho approached him while asking full of concern and surprise. Aiba just looked at the other side of the hallway, praying Jun would not appear. But at that moment, he thought why he said Sho was in home already if he was still in the university. So instead of running away, Masaki began to do questions to Sho.

“Hadn't you sent me a message to meet here?” his voice was low and Sho had to step closer to hear him.

“No, that would be like a suicide for us” the rector answered with a deep frown. “Aiba, tell me what's happening” he got seriously worried after that question, but the student wanted to remain calm.

“I can’t. Jun is here with me. Now, he's in the toilet and can come at any time” he warned him and Sho opened his mouth.

“That's easy to solve” Sakurai spoke and grabbed his wrist to drag him through the stairs. Aiba just followed him, not knowing too well where they were going. What he knew was whom he wanted to be with because when he was being dragged by the rector, he did not refuse it for a second. No matter what he could have said the previous day. Aiba was really happy Sho did not care about his own nephew, and only wanted to talk with him privately. Then, they came inside an empty class at the end of the second floor and the rector locked the door.

“Why did you bring me here?” it was when Aiba dared to ask. Sho left his briefcase and jacket over a dirty desk because that classroom was to save old stuff.

“I have so many questions” he was sincere and looked at him straight. The student only leaned on another desk with his butt to kind of sit on it. “What are you doing here with Jun?” he started from that point, realizing no one of them wanted to bring up last night's subject.

“I received a supposed message from you to meet in your office at 7pm. But Jun knows you're meeting someone and checked your phone to go and spy you now to discover who was” Aiba explained the version Jun gave to him, knowing some parts were a lie. Meanwhile, Sakurai was frowning, expressing an angry face at the next instant.

“Jun has done what?!” he was absolutely taken aback. “I never sent you today a message. Look” he showed his phone to Aiba, allowing him to see their chat. Indeed, there was not any message. Then, the student checked the name.

“So it was a lie too…” what he found was not what Jun had told him. It was just a mere _AM_ to cover his real name. The disappointment in him grew up so swiftly and all his reasons to be better with Sho vanished in a second.

“What was a lie?” Sho asked. Masaki shook his head as saying nothing without looking up. However, his partner insisted so there was no other choice left for him.

“He told me you had saved my number under _my boy_ ” he spoke flushed, not by saying it, but showing how upset he was when he found out it was not real.

“Why?” he answered and Aiba could guess why indeed.

“Somehow he knew we fought last night so maybe it was like to convince me to go with him” he explained his theory to Sho and the rector remained in silence for a brief minute. Then, he started to use his phone hastily, what called Masaki's attention. “This is how you want it, right?” the rector showed the new name and he could not keep his mouth closed by the surprise. Sakurai had changed it to what Jun had told him.

“Am I really that for you?” he asked looking up at his partner for first time. The latter nodded with sincere expression.

“You're more for me than what you think” he kind of confessed and Aiba thought his heart was going to collapse by how fast it was beating. “But… what am I for you?” suddenly, the rector asked, leaving the boy speechless. What should he answer? Was it time to say it? Was it the perfect moment to confess?

“Everything” only that word came out of his mouth, watching how Sho was widening his eyes by the surprise. Had he been so contradictory? “There’s no _I like you_ or _I find you attractive_ inside of me anymore” he continued somehow. “All I think right now is how in love I am with you” once it was said, relief filled his being. The hardest step was starting indeed, because after, continuing was really easy and ending was receiving the peace he needed finally. Now, what he was afraid of was Sho's answer.

“And I said such a horrible thing yesterday…” the rector only muttered that while rubbing his face with both hands, as if he was trying to cover his frustration. Aiba felt somehow bad for him and laughed to make the ambient lighter.

“You were really mean with me!” he joked with a smile. Sakurai raised his gaze shocked about that sudden change of behaviour and got lost about what to answer. “You’re so easy to love after all” he kept with those comments to see how flushed Sho could be. Somehow, he loved how affected he could be because of his words.

The game was followed by the rector and the latter approached Aiba to place his hands on his waist. “What makes me that irresistible?” he asked while looking up due to their height difference. Masaki loved it so much that he lowered his head to steal a kiss from his lips. Then, he felt how Sho grabbed his T-shirt tightly not to separate from him and how his lips searched for him. But once they finished it, Aiba smirked.

“How even if you want to control yourself, I attract you” he spoke with low voice. Sakurai could only get fixed to his body, still grabbing his fabric strongly to raise himself a bit searching his lips with his barely-open mouth. Aiba was feeling his body was going to burst by living that. By meeting that desperate side of Sho. Why though. “All you told me about you were differentiating our roles here and outside was a lie for yourself” Masaki finally realized, speaking it aloud so Sho would recognize it too. “You couldn’t control what you felt so you just lied to yourself being so reckless in your job” he continued noticing that a lot of pieces were being fixed. “All you did until now was lying to yourself” Aiba repeated because it was impossible to assimilate. “For me…” once he said the last part, Sho raised his hands to caress his cheeks and kissed him once more.

At that moment, the student got his hands out of his pockets to embrace him, turning around leaving Sho against the desk and he caught his butt to make him sit over it, opening his legs to be closer. Suddenly, Aiba noticed how needy the rector was already and that just made him be amazed. That was why he raised a hand to open his shirt, but it was stopped by another. “Anyone can see us” he showed his real face, his real doubts, his real fear. Finally, Aiba was meeting the real Sakurai.

“We’re alone. Just tell me what you want, Sho” he dared to say his name for first time and the rector removed his hand to touch his lips with his index finger.

“You” simply, straight. No more words were needed for Aiba to grab his hand and go to sit against the wall under the windows with the hallways at the other side. Being in the dark and there, nobody could see them. That was why they started to kiss as if they were just two teenagers without a home to go and be alone. Slowly, Sho let his torso go down until finding the dirty floor and Aiba was placed over him. They kept there just kissing and being together, sometimes touching, sometimes not, without even removing their clothes, they just needed to feel each other close. They just needed to kiss and hug for a while and because of that, Aiba ended up lie down over his torso as Sho was hugging his waist. The student sometimes gave a few kisses to his neck and heard how Sho smiled happily.

“Aiba” he spoke while tightening the hug. Masaki replied softly to listen to him as his hand was playing by going up and down through his neck. “What we are? What do you want to be?” he asked straight, not giving him too much time to connect both questions and the student could only raise his head to look at him. His expression became doubtful and his gaze wondered around as his mind was thinking.

“I want something serious” he confessed, knowing there was not best chance for it. After all, he had just said he was in love moments ago and Sho had stayed with him, so there was a chance it could be answered back.

“Being boyfriends. Like… a serious relationship which may last years?” the rector explained as if he did not think Aiba knew the meaning of serious, what made him laugh indeed and sat to lean on the wall.

“Yeah, serious relationship which may last years, which requires loyalty, high level of love and affection, plus recognition of families and society” Aiba continued it as a joke so Sakurai laughed too while sitting beside him.

“Serious relationship involves living together, marriage and even creating a family in a future if it works” he followed it, making it look as a game, but inserting his vision of what a serious relationship meant for him already. The student understood that point and nodded.

“Things I'm open to. I may be young, but I know what being an adult is” he turned his head to look at Sho, who was smirking.

“What can you know if you're barely legal?” he disturbed him a bit and Aiba turned even his body this time.

“I will be 21 soon” Sho just raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“When?”

“On December 24th”

“Joking, right?” he laughed by that date, but the boy shook his head. “What a coincidence” he sighed.

“And you?” suddenly, Masaki grabbed his hand to play with his fingers. He still could feel how tense the rector became when he did sudden moves.

“J-January 25th” he answered nervously. Aiba smiled by his cuteness and approached to lean his forehead on his temple as his fingers were intertwined.

“Fourteen years and eleven months of difference… Is that okay?” his voice sounded sad suddenly. Unexpectedly, his hand became tighter.

“Of course, we will be okay, Masaki”

*****

One week after, Aiba did not know anything else from Jun. He did not ask him why he left suddenly that day, what seemed odd for Aiba. That was why he tried to contact him, but his calls or messages were never replied. Instead, he asked Sho about him because he ended up being worried and the rector told him Jun spent his days inside his room lately. He thought about visiting him then, but for some reason, his intuition told him to wait because something bad was going to happen. And indeed, he hated to be right. Because that morning, he got ready to go to classes as everyday and when he got out of his room, he saw how everyone was surrounding every bulletin board in the hallways. He frowned, wondering what had happened, and approached to see it. What his eyes found was a photo of two men in the stairs going down, holding hands with their faces blurred. Then, it was followed by the next title:

_Is there a romantic relationship between a teacher and a student in this university?!_

Aiba thought his life had ended at the same moment he noticed it was a photo of Sho and him that day in the hallway. But more when his eyes saw he was wearing the same T-shirt as that day, looking horribly alike as that person in the photo. People around him started to glance at him and mutter things he did not want to hear. That was why he turned around and returned to his room almost having a panic attack. At the same moment he closed the door, he removed that T-shirt and threw it to the floor, leaving Ohno and Ninomiya, who were on his bed, speechless.

“Hey, Aiba, what's wrong?” the younger boy asked while standing up and grabbing him by his shoulders because Masaki was really hyperventilating. Ohno hurried to help him and they both made him sat on the bed so he would be able to calm down.

“We’re over…” he spoke between sobs by crying suddenly. Although nobody understood what that meant, the couple could see it was related to Sho. “Outside… The bulletin board…” he tried to explain it so one of them could go there and check. When Ninomiya came back, his face was seriously pale and he described it to Ohno. Aiba just limited himself to stop that hard pressure inside of his chest which did not allow him to breathe until his weeping disappeared.

“Look, who had done that is just an asshole, okay? That person just tried to get attentio-“

“That person has been Jun” Aiba spoke with red eyes. After all, the reason for that pain breaking his inward was a mix between the risk now they had and because he knew so well the only person he could do that was him and only him when he went to the toilet.

“It’s impossible! Why would he-?”

“He has set us a trap the other day!” the nervous student shouted at them. “He sent me a message with Sho's phone just to take me there and make me meet Sho for the photo! All was settled since the beginning!” he cried again feeling deeply betrayed by whom he considered one of his best friends. He was unable to accept Jun had been able to do such a thing.

“Masaki, listen to me, there's no way Jun would do that” Ohno refused to believe his story and placed a hand over his shoulder, trying to comfort him, but he just felt even more helpless when he saw nobody was believing him.

“It’s true, Jun would never do that” Ninomiya supported his boyfriend and Aiba reached his limit. He rejected any type of contact from them and stood up to grab another T-shirt.

“I will show you he did it” the student told them before cleaning his eyes and going out of the room not wanting to hear any reply more. Then, while he was walking through the hallway, he received a call from Sho. He ran to get into a toilet and picked it up.

“Sho…” he bit his lower lip, needing him as never. And he only got a worried voice at the other side.

“Have you seen it?” he asked, showing his anxiety.

“Yes, I was even wearing the same T-shirt so people started to look at me even weirder… I think they fou-“

“Don’t say that!” Sakurai cut his words, not wanting to hear what was probably the truth already. “First we have to find out who was” he spoke, but Aiba decided to be straight.

“Jun did it” he accused him feeling a knot in his throat, letting him breathless once again.

“There’s no way… How can you be sure?” his voice turned out disturbed.

“He was the only one who was there, in the same spot as the photo”

“Maybe there was someone else”

“There was no one else, Sho. He had to b-“

“I said it's impossible” his voice did not allow any reply more. “You don't even have proofs” he said, showing completely how he was totally against that idea. Even like that Masaki tried once more.

“He set us a trap to meet there and get that photo, it's obvious!”

“What’s obvious is that there's no way my own nephew would ruin my reputation and the university's one after so many years of sacrifice!” at last, Sakurai could not handle more accusations towards Jun anymore and shouted at Masaki through the phone, leaving the boy more hurt if that was possible.

“Okay. Don't worry, they will be safe either way because we're over” after that, he hung up, wondering what he had just said. Maybe all of that made him realize the importance and risk their relationship had in such a situation. He saw how he had acted selfishly and recklessly towards the person he was in love with and after tasting the flavour of desperation, Aiba understood they would never be okay. There was no chance for them to be happy while being student and rector. No matter how they wanted to share their lives together. It was time to look after him finally.

That was why, after hanging up all the calls he received from Sho, he went out of the toilet, but once his phone vibrated, it was not a call, but a message from the person who had messed up everything with his strange game. He opened it without a doubt, wanting to know what was his purpose with all of that and just with those words he saw he was not wrong.

**From::** Matsumoto Jun

**To::** Aiba Masaki

_Come to the east park, behind the observatory building at eight o'clock._

*****

It was 7:55 pm already and Masaki was already there, in the place Jun had said in that message. He placed under the big tree so it was easier to see him and he just needed to wait a bit, because right after, his eyes spotted a man walking to him with superb attitude. Since when was he like that? Then, when he arrived, he just ordered Aiba to follow him, not giving him chance to reply because his friend did not even stop to greet him. They went to the other side of the river where it was empty so they could talk relaxedly.

“What do you want?” finally Aiba spoke without a doubt while putting his hands into his pockets. He did not care anymore if Jun discovered it because it was evident he already knew. Then, that man removed his glasses and smiled arrogantly.

“To destroy you” he confirmed. Masaki widened his eyes, not believing what he was saying, even his face showed bewilderment. “You’re like everyone else. But the difference is that this time I won't allow you to make fun of me!” he shouted suddenly, changing his expression to a violent one. Even Masaki had goosebumps.

“You’re wrong, Jun. I can explain you-“

“Explain me what?! How did you use me to get my uncle?!” Jun was straight with his ideas about Aiba. “What do you want?! High marks, promotion, money, popularity?! Why did you have to choose him?!” even if they were in a public space, he did mot doubt about shouting at Aiba all he thought. The younger boy stayed there, looking how his eyes were red. Was he this hurt?

“I have wondered the same since I know him. Why did I have to fall in love with not only the rector of the university I study in, but also with my best friend's uncle?” Aiba spoke being sincere so maybe Jun would understand. “When I realized what was happening, he was already chasing me and I… I couldn’t say no” his voice was breaking remembering how everything had started and how now he had nothing left.

“You're lying, you had all planned since th-“

“Stop being ridiculous!” this time, Masaki was the one shouting at the other. “I wish I hadn't met him, okay?! I wish I hadn't kissed him that day! I wish I didn’t feel this in love with him! But I can't, okay?! Because he's my reason to live here lately! He has given me all…” two tears made their paths through his cheeks after realizing Sho had given everything he had had, because now it was late. He had broken up with his reason to be someone in the future.

“If you cared about him that much, you wouldn’t have started anything with him” Jun seemed as continuing trying to believe in his convictions, but with a different strength, as if he was beginning to doubt.

“For first time you're right. I didn’t see how dangerous it was for him. No… I didn’t _want_ to see what would happen if someone found it out. But I have to thank you for posting those papers around, you know? It made me realize many things and you can be at ease from now on, because I broke up with him already. That was your real intention, right?” Aiba spoke from the deepest part of his resentment. It was too much what Jun was doing to him suddenly.

“It was” Jun said, but somehow his appearance was really nervous. “How did you know it had been me?” it was not a question of curiosity but more coming from anxiety.

“It was obvious, you set me a trap. All that stuff of helping you to discover who was, sending me a message and meeting there. I have to admire you because I fell on it straight” Masaki smirked hatefully, what made Jun be taken aback. “And you? How did you know about Sho and me?” he asked, really being curious about that.

“S-Sho…?” he repeated as if he was surprised by calling him like that. “I went to your bedroom one day and the door was opened but the room was empty. Then, I found a note on Ohno's bedroom saying you went to _Sakurai's house_. I just fixed all between the two of you and decided to do all of this” he explained looking really low on energy already. And that was why Masaki noticed why the note was not seen by Ohno because it was on the desk. He chuckled lowly and approached him.

“Probably, there are already tons of rumours over me, also our relationship is already broken and I won't see him again. Even, I was already thinking about changing university, so now you've gotten to _destroy me,_ remove those papers around and say it was a joke or something. At least, do it for him. He has no guilt here” Aiba asked him while looking at his eyes at a distance of half a metre. And somehow, Jun had to lower his gaze. Was he feeling bad? Why?

“Are you really going to change university?” his voice sounded anguished.

“Yes. I have everything here, friends, my place… But I also have him, so if I have to forget him, I need to go” he admitted with a knot in his throat, wondering if that sudden choice he did while being in class was okay. He had just taken it after suffering the whole day by remembering Sho in every single place he was in, so in order to be able to go on, it was the best decision.

“Is…” Jun gulped. “Is that how you love him?” finally, his friend raised his eyes, showing that man he was friend of. It seemed his anger and desire of revenge had faded away after having listened to him. However, it was already late.

“Yes. I love him with all my might” he spoke it aloud for first time. Even Sho had never heard it. He supposed it had to be said at least once before he would try to forget it.

“Why?” Matsumoto titled a bit his head as his thick eyebrows were frowned and Aiba decided that he had to say it to someone at least or he would explode.

“Because he's Sakurai Sho. He's so nice, gentle and peaceful. But also, funny and crazy when he's excited” he laughed remembering those moments. “If he hugged me, I felt the most protected person of this world. I need to be beside him so much, I ran every time he called me” he lowered his head to handle the tears and pain remembering there would not be going to be more moments like those anymore. “He’s in my mind 24/7, I just went recollecting things so I would tell them all to him after. I will miss now when I talked too much and shut up embarrassed and he just smiled at me as if he loved to listen to me…” he remembered while sobbing slightly. He was finally getting all out since he had said that sentence during that call.

Then, a hand was placed on his shoulder suddenly, but Aiba moved hastily to break that contact. “Don’t feel sorry for me now when you have wished for this to happen” he spat still horribly angry with him and decided to end this chat. All was already settled between them. “Then, I hope you will help your uncle from now on. It was nice to have you as friend, Jun. Now, goodbye” he got those remaining good feelings towards him from the bottom of his heart and started to walk to the exit of the part. He did not hear a reply back from Jun, what told him at least he made him see how his plan had not been that good for him after all. Selfishness is never the path to take. Although, if Aiba had just taken it by breaking up with Sho. But sometimes, those decisions in order to protect someone were the best.

That was why Aiba was exiting the park to walk all that long path back, which would take him a while, and he prayed he would not go thinking about Sho constantly. Then, he got out from his pocket a recorder and stopped it so now he had proofs to show to Nino and Ohno and get their trust. However, suddenly, he began to hear his voice calling for him and Masaki could not believe how his mind was playing with him that despicably. Until a car whistled him by his side. Then, he found a car with Sho as driver. Indeed, calling him with worried face. “Aiba! What are you doing here?” he asked, but the boy ran away because he panicked, thinking he would fall really soon. With the bad luck he had to stop in a crosswalk and Sho drove until stopping in front of him again. “Okay, don't answer me, but at least, allow me to take you until the university. It's so far away and you look so bad. Are you okay?” his voice sounded disturbed, Aiba was really behaving so cruelly with him that day.

“Yes and sorry, I will go by myself” he answered to see if he did not continue insisting. But how naïve of him, having been his boyfriend. Having been…

“Aiba, I promise I'll only take you there. I won't even talk to you during it. C'mon, go inside” Sakurai promised and Aiba ended up accepting under that condition. He was so tired to walk all the way back, plus he was feeling a bit sick and dizzy. So he sat beside Sho, being that day the first they were in the same car. Then, as his pockets were so small, he got out his stuff to place all over his legs. “And this recorder?” Sho answered when he saw it and Aiba started to panic.

“You said you wouldn’t talk” he spoke, knowing he was winning there. And as such, Sakurai nodded and continue driving in silence. Because he had never watched him, the student glanced at him to see how focused he was on the road and slowly, that peace he had was conveyed to him, forcing his eyes to be closed and fall asleep.

That while he spent by sleeping he could still hear voices, what made him sleep weirdly. What was more, once of the voices woke him up suddenly, finding himself in a parked car, with someone beside him who was grabbing the recorder and playing it, that was why he was hearing voices. Then, he panicked, noticing he was listening to all he said to Jun and what Sho would have never known if he wanted it to end definitively.

“… _and he just smiled at me as if he loved to listen to me…”_ Aiba tore it away from his hands and stopped it, realizing he had listened to the full chat. He did not dare even to look at him. He was really fucked. But even like that, there was only silence in the car. So Aiba glanced at Sho quickly, finding a man who had a tear falling from an eye quietly. That image shocked him so much he could not avoid to turn around and grab his face with both hands, noticing how wet they were. How much had he been crying?

“Don’t cry… Anything else except crying, please” his voice was gentle, not knowing how to stop that pain inside of them. Because he was sure Sho was suffering as no one else.

“Have I lost you because my nephew decided to destroy you?” Sakurai spoke with a broken voice he had ever listened to before. Aiba could only share his pain and hugged him as tight as he could. Indeed, Jun had betrayed both of them, but also he had put in danger all the years Sho had to work for giving him a proper life when his parents were not in this world anymore. That was why Masaki was brave enough to embrace the rector and protect him for last time as he had done so many times before.

“You need to talk with him” he recommended with soft voice before breaking the hug and by their primitive instinct, they could not separate their faces. Both student and rector were so weak at that moment thanks to Jun's confirmation so it was not a surprise when Sho tilted his head to kiss his lips as passionate as never. Masaki could not set him aside, what was more, his hands caressed his skin needing more and more. Then, when they stopped a second to breathe, Sho moved his seat backwards so the student removed his safety belt to sit over him. It was not comfortable at all, but all he cared was those lips who tasted his without a break. Those hands which embraced his waist tightly. Those hard feelings which were returning to him.

“Sho…” he spoke to stop a second and they kept with their noses touching. That closeness made him feel protected.

“Is true you will leave this university?” the rector asked, not even waiting to listen what Aiba wanted to say, which was nothing, he just needed a second to think what was going on.

“If I continue here…” he wanted to say it. If he was able to confirm it to Sakurai, he would be able to leave. But of course, inside of him he did not want to go away and leave Ohno and Nino behind. To leave Sho in the past. No way. “If I change university, we aren't involved anymore-“

“I can't forget y-“ he cut his words with a kiss and rubbed his cheek with his nose.

“If we aren't involved as student and rector anymore, we can announce our relationship publicly so no one would be able to hurt us by exposing it” suddenly, he planned with details which surprised both of them, one because of speaking it and the other because of listening to it.

“Our relationship?” Sakurai raised his eyebrows lost.

“Now it's when you say you don't want anything with me anymore and I cry” he tried to joke to relax the ambient and indeed, Sho chuckled while biting his lower lip.

“No way I can do that” he smiled sweetly, melting Aiba slowly as his heart was pounding in his chest as the first day. Then, the student hugged him, placing his forehead against his neck.

“I’m so sorry for having said that, I was so scared and-“

“Don’t apologize” Sho said right after. “As long as you're with me, I don't care anything else” he caressed his cheek with his thumb and Masaki could not hide his smile. He was happy, he was horribly thrilled by the idea of being with him again when he thought they were truly over.

“And Jun?” he dared to ask because he did not know what would happen with him. Sakurai sighed suddenly, what made him raise his face and look at his eyes, his hand played with his jacket meanwhile.

“Do you want to know what will happen to him?” he asked doubtfully and Aiba nodded. “Why?” why was he so amazed?

“Because he was so important for me” he used the past although the feelings were still there and Sho smiled slightly.

“Are you sure he isn't anymore?” that naïve question which came unexpectedly and Aiba did not know what to answer. Was Jun that important for him? “You're so good, Masaki” his hand brushed his hair over his left eye with brilliant eyes. That gesture made the student flush and look down while smiling.

“Too much, right?” then, he looked up and gained a kiss from the rector.

“You're perfect like this”

*****

After saying Sho goodbye and returning to the campus, he went to buy a sandwich and had dinner in his bedroom. He was already reading a manga while eating it when the couple came inside the room and found him there. They said hello with low voice and sat over Ohno's bed, looking as not knowing how to start a talk with Aiba about all what happened. Then, Ninomiya was who made the step and said his name. Masaki's answer was a glance and his hand grabbed the recorder to throw it to them. Ohno caught it and both frowned wondering what it was. They asked their questions, but the student was so busy reading so just moved to look at the wall instead of at them. Understanding his point of view, they just played the recorder and Aiba kept listening to their reactions. However, the chat between Jun and him was not what appeared, but instead the sound of two people moaning hard appeared.

“Sho… Fuck…”

“Move harder, please…”

Once Aiba heard that, he threw up the manga and went down of the bed so fast he arrived to the couple walking on his knees to steal the recorder from Ohno's hands and start to press all the possible buttons until making it stop sounding. When he got it, he sighed really amazed by how stupid they were in that car. After fixing it, they decided to have a bit of fun in it because the parking was dark and no one was near with the bad luck that someone pressed the recorder when it fell because of the movement. Now, how was he able to look at his friends again? They had listened to them having sex, no way he was able to.

“Aiba… Just tell me you're not one of those who likes to be heard-“

“NO WAY” he shouted at Ninomiya as his eyes were widened while gazing at him. He felt so useless that he leaned his head over the chair next to him.

“Then?” Ohno tried to understand.

“I had met Jun today and I had recorded all the chat between us where he confessed it was all his plan…” he explained. “I wanted to show it to you so you would believe me”

“But?” Ohno continued.

“Sho took me back here and we… Well, it's evident what we were doing! So the recorder fell and I grabbed it too harshly it seems…” Aiba rubbed his face full of embarrassment and frustration. His plan had been fucked because of his uselessness.

“And how is it in a car?” Ninomiya asked full of curiosity.

“You know? So uncomfortable” Aiba answered with tired face and the sleepy man stopped them.

“First, we will never do it in a car. Second, we don't need details. Third, explain us what happened, Aiba” he clarified, getting his boyfriend upset.

“In the car?” the man on the floor asked while frowning and Ohno sighed.

“No! With Jun” he wanted to give up because no one of them seemed focused on other thing, except sex in cars. Then, Aiba connected all and forgot about the recorder to start to explain them all what happened between Jun and him since he asked for help regarding the new partner of his uncle. Indeed, it was long and they messed up sometimes, but in the end, the couple understood everything. So when he finished his story, he grabbed his sandwich and continue eating it waiting for his friends to talk about what they thought about Jun now.

“I wonder how he was able to do such a thing…” Ninomiya spoke the first, showing he already believed Aiba and his surprise because in the end, it was all his fault. “Satoshi, what do you think? You're closer after all” he tried to get his opinion, but Ohno only stood up with his phone in his hand.

“I need to call someone” he muttered before going out. The two friends left there looked at each other and shrank their shoulders, completely lost about why he had done that. Then, Ninomiya placed himself beside Masaki on the floor and glanced at him.

“Explain me how we can do it in a car, please” he begged with puppy eyes, but read ears. Aiba widened his eyes, understanding the danger Ohno was having right now.

“Nino…”

*****

At the next morning, he was ready to go out and start to handle with all of those gazes looking at him, those mutters talking about him and those negative feelings inside of him, but when he went outside, people were gathered around the bulletin boards again and this time they were laughing and complaining. Aiba frowned and decided to approach. However, in the moment people saw him, everyone began to talk to him.

“Dude! What a prank you did”

“The two of you have lied to the whole university!”

“Good joke! I believed it completely”

Everyone laughed and Aiba just followed them with a smile, not understanding anything. Until he arrived to the new paper there. It was the same photo, but this time their faces were not blurry. Indeed one of them was him and the other one was…

“Jun?!” he spat amazed. Then, he read the new title and his eyes were widened even more.

_Y'all fell in our trap! Nice prank 2019 guys! We had a lot of fun with your faces!_

So what Aiba understood was that Jun made it all seem as a prank they did to everyone. Now, he was not that student who was meeting a teacher anymore. Now, Sho was safe as rector. Now, nobody was even caring about it. And all because Jun decided to change his face to his own one and create a joke from the nowhere. Just in order to protect them and clean his mess. He did not know if his words had reached him or if it was Sho who talked with him back in home. Or even if it was Ohno when he did that mysterious call last night. But whatever it was, he felt so relieved he even dared to head to a place he should not be there at all.

He stopped beside the toilets, as seeming normal there, but waiting for someone to arrive to his office. Then, five minutes after, Sho appeared going up through the stairs and glanced at him. Aiba moved his head indicating to meet in the toilets and he nodded. As always he went to the last one and waited there until a man in suit came in too and they closed the door. No one else was in that toilet because it was the least crowded so they kissed softly as greeting.

“What’s up? You have my number to tell me anything” the rector asked while hugging his waist and kissing his neck.

“But I wanted to see you” Masaki laughed lowly and touched his cheek so they would look at each other. “Have you seen the new papers around?” he asked with serious expression already.

“Yes, it’s fixed finally” Sho smiled wildly and kissed him truly kindly. It was weird to see him so affectionate. He was not complaining, though. “Why don't you come to my house this evening?” he proposed suddenly before a sweet peck on his lips. Aiba got tense hastily after hearing him and Sho remarked. “We will be alone, don't worry” his index finger touched his nose slightly and the student laughed.

“Okay… I will take the bus of-“

“No, no. Wait for me at 8:00 pm in the parking. There's no one so I'll take you” he offered with serious expression. Aiba just raised his eyebrows feeling weird with that situation.

“Okay, but… why do you want now to take me with your car?” he asked while hugging his neck and be more comfortable.

“I want to spoil my boy a bit, can I?” abruptly, Sho smiled after saying such a thing against his lips and Aiba thought he had lost his whole life at that moment. How could a person feel that happy? How was he able to be that happy? His chest seemed like going to burst anytime.

“You can spoil me all you want…” the student accepted while being mesmerized by those lips pecking his slowly. It was even erotically because he just had his mouth slightly opened and Sho just did it softly over and over again.

“I have to go” suddenly, he spoke sadly. Masaki nodded with a cute face which made Sho smile. They kissed for last time and listened around to see if there was someone in the toilet. It seemed clean. However, when Sho opened the door, he found Ninomiya there, as if he was waiting for them. When Aiba saw him, his face expressed troubles and frowned instantly.

“I've not heard anything” he spoke nervously. Then, the student focused on him by grabbing his face worriedly. He wondered what was wrong to make Ninomiya look that concerned. Then, his friend sighed and leaned his forehead over his chest, being able due to their height difference. Aiba wanted to ask, but for some reason, Sho stayed there looking at them.

“It's okay, it's nothing for sure” he laughed and Sho nodded with weird expression. Masaki wanted to focus on Ninomiya at the next second so he did not give it importance. “Now, tell me. What happens?” he asked separating him from his torso.

“It's Satoshi…” he gulped. “He doesn’t stop wanting a date, to be romantic and those couple things” he sighed as saying something normal, but Aiba frowned deeply. Was he seemed disturbed by it?

“But isn't that good? I mean, in a relationship it's normal-“

“What relationship? I just found Satoshi hot. So hot. I couldn’t control it until I got him. Since then, we only had sex and I was so happy, but after, he started to want to go on a date and weird stuff. I tried it because I couldn’t say no. But I'm so tired, I don't know how to stop this” he spoke troublesomely, leaving Aiba speechless. Because he thought Ninomiya was in love so that was why he encouraged Ohno to do that step. And now it was totally the opposite.

“So don't you love him?” he asked with surprised face and Ninomiya widened his eyes and looked down.

“There’s no way!” he started to be sweaty and nervous. “I don't want anything serious. I don't want dates with him…” he turned around to wash his face with abundant water. After he looked at himself into the mirror above the sinks. “He deserves more than this…” he muttered, and before Aiba could reply because that sounded so horribly bad for him, Ninomiya ran to get out of that toilet and be alone. The student remained there, thinking there was no way they were not in love with each other. Maybe, did Kazunari want to hide his feelings regarding Ohno?

*****

Luckily, it was already the time they would meet in that parking. So Aiba not only arrived to that place, but also sat beside it so he would somehow hide in case someone would appear suddenly. He was checking his phone, trying to contact Ninomiya because since that morning, he was missing. However, he was just losing his time and more when a shadow appeared in front of him and his heart almost stopped by the scare. “What are you doing sitting there?” a familiar voice spoke to him and when the car was turned on, he knew it was Sho. He stood up and the rector greeted him with a peck. Masaki freaked out at the next second, hiding constantly and got in the car almost running. He was so afraid of being figured out and that fact was just hilarious for Sakurai. “I told you there's no one. I wouldn't be that careless instead” he reassured him with simple voice while starting to drive. Then, Masaki looked beside him to find the seat where they made out yesterday.

“You know? The recorder caught our voices while doing it” he confessed almost laughing because it was already a good anecdote, but Sho raised his left eyebrow.

“You’re really useless…” he joked.

“But after” he continued without hearing him. “I gave it to Ohno and Nino by thinking it was Jun's confession yet and they heard us for a few seconds” he chuckled remembering that scene.

“You're stupid and it's confirmed really” Sho sighed disturbed and Aiba laughing while brushing the hair beside his left ear.

“It was a fail. I erased it already, but before I listened to it” he confessed again, leaving Sho curious. “And I touched myself…” he bit his lower lip, loving to provoke him before arriving his house.

“Why are you being this naughty?” he asked, glancing a few times to his left side.

“I want revenge today in the bed” he spoke lowly and provocatively. “You were being so hard yesterday I was almost hitting my head against the ceiling” he tried to laugh, but at the same time, the revenge inside of him was strong.

“That wasn't the plan I had today. And sorry, but don't be so tall and you won't-“

“Excuse me?” he laughed amazed by how daring Sho could be. Then, he parked inside the garage and smiled at him.

“I will let you, but I want to do another thing first” he got out of the car, followed by a lost Aiba who just walked behind him to get into his house and headed to the living room. However, before getting inside, Sho sighed. “I’m sorry” what made Aiba frown. He understood it at the next second, though. They were not alone in that house. “Jun, we arrived” Sho spoke, almost pulling from Aiba to come inside. His ex-best friend stood up and widened his eyes, showing he had no idea of what was happening.

“What-? I've already fixed it, so-“

“Wait a second, Jun” his uncle calmed him down and the nephew looked away ashamed. Meanwhile, Aiba was wanting to kill his partner as never before. He looked at him, asking for an explanation without words and Sho just approached him to kiss his lips tenderly. Aiba just let it flow until he realized Jun was looking and stopped him.

“Hey…” he wanted to speak, but Sho turned around.

“This is what we are, Ju-“

“Okay, and what?! Do you want me to say congratulations?!” he shouted at them, deeply affected by what he saw. Aiba just remained there, understanding what Sho was trying to do.

“No, I want you to say what you feel now after you've seen us” the rector spoke and that just made Jun felt even worse by how tight he had his fists or by how he looked down and sobbed suddenly.

“Rage… Jealousy…” he spoke lowly while crying. So Sho asked him again. “I hate seeing it…” Matsumoto spoke as his tears fell uncontrollably. Aiba felt how his heart was being pierced despicably.

“So you put us in danger just to separate us, right?” the uncle asked him with nice voice instead. There was no glimpse of scold or anger in his voice.

“Yes… I needed you to be separated…” Jun confessed with husky voice.

“Why?” after this question, there was a silence, as if he did not want to answer at all. So Aiba, knowing Sho was doing a big effort, tried to help him by approaching Jun and grabbing his face with his hands.

“Why, Jun?” he repeated with gentle eyes. And his friend only answered when he looked at that gentleness.

“I had lost everything once when I lost my parents… So when I saw my uncle, who's the only family I have, and my best friend together, I thought I was going to lose everything again…” he cried hard after confessing his deepest feelings. “I felt I would be set aside by the two of you because you would prefer to be with each other… I didn’t want to lose any of you… I was so jealous when my uncle was just looking at you… I was so jealous when you only came here to see him…” after this, Aiba noticed Jun was knowing their affair even before them themselves. So he just felt the need to hug him suddenly, but really tightly, trying to expulse all those negative feelings from Jun to save him somehow.

“I’m so sorry you felt like that, Jun” the student apologized abruptly, leaving uncle and nephew speechless. “I’m so sorry you felt so alone because of our fault… I wish I would have taken care more of you so you wouldn’t have fallen in this well of sadness and unrest” Masaki spoke lovely beside his ear, trying to calm his bad negative feelings with his most sincere apology. So when he finished, he felt two arms hugging him back tightly. Then, that boy in his arms started to sob heavily as if he was really releasing everything, and meanwhile, Sho and Aiba looked at each other.

“Only you could forget his betrayal to save him” Sakurai spoke, watching the scene from his spot, not moving a muscle. Aiba only smiled at him when he saw his proud eyes and continued rubbing his back until his weeping referred back. Then, Jun moved backwards with his gaze lowered and that was when Sho approached.

“How did you know it was that?” Jun asked to his uncle and Sakurai only chuckled slightly.

“I’ve not taken care of you for twenty two years for no reason” he spoke sweetly and the nephew just threw to his arms, as truly missing his hugs. Aiba felt his heart recovering from those small holes after bad moments. As if fixing it with him had been what made his heart be at ease finally.

“I'm so sorry, it's unforgivable what I've done…” Matsumoto sobbed on his uncle's shoulder and Sho looked at him to wipe his tears again lovely.

“We’re forgiving you, right Aiba?”

“Yeah” he replied with a smile.

“Then, just learn about this and don't do stupid plans, but just tell me. Jun, I will always be here with you” Sho spoke, this time it really sounded as a scold, but Jun seemed really happy for having listened those words so his nephew only hugged him again somehow already smiling shyly.

After a while that Jun calmed down, they took him to the bed so he would be able to rest properly and they returned to the living room, Aiba still quite shocked by all. Slowly, a man grabbed his waist to place their foreheads together and he sighed while closing his eyes. “I can't believe there was such a reason behind his actions…” he confessed, showing finally how he was really feeling. Sho only caressed his cheek with his index finger.

“Jun has been so jealous regarding my partner. But I don't blame him, he only has me so it's understandable”

“He really wanted a partner for you” Aiba spoke remembering one of their first talks together. “Maybe his fears were bigger than his desire to see you happy, but he was really worried about you” he clarified in order to expose Jun's truly intentions. Sakurai only smiled.

“I never doubted that” he answered before kissing softly his lips. Then, they decided to have dinner together while watching a movie. Just a simple plan after a hard day. They just relaxed beside each other, laughed with each other, enjoyed a private moment together. It felt surrealistically perfect. Aiba's favourite moment was when they were already ending the movie on the sofa, both lay down on it, hugging as Masaki was over his torso and slowly, his eyes were closed falling asleep before the movie showed the credits. No one woke him up either.

What was more, that warmth around him, that arm surrounding his waist, that torso going up and down slowly under his cheek, that hand touching his shoulder. It was simply one of the best nights he could have ever lived. Especially after a few hours, he woke up not knowing too well where he was and he raised his head wondering why Sho was sleeping too that peacefully. He climbed a bit until reaching to his mouth and pecked it repeated times so Sho would open his eyes. Slowly, a kiss was returned and he could not control his smile.

“Do you still want to take that revenge?” the rector asked with husky voice and Aiba smirked widely. It was true it was really late, but his body needed him as just oxygen to breathe. So he nodded and sat over him, making a random blanket fall behind him. He turned around to ask for it and Sho chuckled lowly. “It’s Jun's blanket” with only that he understood what had happened and he could not be happier. That blanket seemed as his approval for their relationship and that just made them be so at ease that Sho grabbed him by his butt and stood up while carrying Masaki as the latter was already leaving small kisses all around his jaw. When they arrived to the stairs, Aiba preferred to go up by himself while he was having a man behind slapping his butt softly and making him laugh.

Once in their bedroom, they did not see more than each other. The game of touching and kissing was back as they ended up on the bed; Aiba sat over Sho whose back was resting on the wall. That game was followed by erasing all the clothes slowly, really feeling each move they did. Sho loved grabbing that waist of his while his lips were kissing him so he would be able to leave his lips, raise his body and get instead his most private part of his body being hard and free in front of his mouth. He did not think of it twice and tortured him with licks and small sucks, not doing it properly so he would last longer. Until Aiba, who was leaning on the wall with a forearm, grabbed his hair with his fee hand and started to move by himself. He knew that was despicable, but just by thinking he was inside of him in someway, his mind was crazy already.

That was why he stopped before even being near and looked at his partner who was flushed and breathing hard. His helplessness made him look irresistible and his hands grabbed those ankles so Sho would be lain down completely, still touching his lips because of how hard he was. Masaki smirked and decided that night he was going to make him scream. And for that, he needed all of him, that was why he removed the last clothes from him and raised his butt to prepare him just with his tongue. Indeed, hearing Sho seemed as a melody to be hotter. His mind was only focusing on everything he could do to him on that bed. As for example, after ending, going up a bit and taste him slightly. For example, being so impatient to be one with Sho that he was really hasty in the first move that even the rector trembled while grabbing the sheets. For example, intertwining their fingers to place his hands against the mattress as his hips were moved and his lips were kissed. For example, to hug his waist, receiving the same around his neck, to make Sakurai be over him.

“Sho…” he moved upwards, having a trembling man over him surrounding his neck. “Move, please…” he begged beside his ear. The rector separated a bit to look at his eyes while caressing his cheek and kissed him before beginning to move slightly with his hips.

“Like this…?” he whispered against his lips and Aiba felt as burning. Why did he like provoking him this much? So he nodded, following that game of going slowly, breathing hard against each other's mouths, hoping Sho would go harder soon. However, Masaki knew that was a fight to see who could handle it better so he would not be going to lose. What was more, in order to win, he left kisses on his lips, on his jaw, on his neck until lowering them and find a nipple there to suck. And when his two hands grabbed his butt to open it, Aiba left him over the mattress again to move really hard, not allowing Sho to lower any hand by grabbing them again. His eyes just saw how the first tear was already falling so he just needed to go on a bit more, hitting his sweet spot inside to continue making Sho gasp against his lips irregularly.

So right after brief minutes, Masaki could not hold back his own orgasm anymore, but he did not want to lose. “Now… Come now…” he begged Sho, who nodded serious; he seemed really suffering too. And then, when Aiba moved two more times, he felt his release as hard as never, while his eyes only observed how Sho stained his body violently. His eyes were closed tightly, his hands were against the mattress yet with strong grips by his helplessness, his back was arched and his legs were trembling. With that image, Aiba knew perfectly it had been amazing, but even like that, when he lay down beside him, still leaving soft pecks on his shoulder, the question was done.

“Did you like it?” he smiled shyly and still in the paradise after such intense moment. When Sho recovered his breath, he laughed before turning around to face him. His almond eyes were full of satisfaction.

“Nobody…” he caught the white liquid over his belly with two fingers to put them on Aiba's lips so the latter sucked them tasting all. “…has ever made me come like this…” he confessed with a naughty face before biting his lower lip and moved to be placed over the student, body against body, with a mouth eating his neck savagely.

“Then… Was it the best of all?” he dared to ask even if the possibility of hearing a no was there.

“Yes, by far…” Sho continued rubbing their bodies no mattering anything else as Masaki was starting to feel hot once more by that lustful man over him.

“Sho… You're staining us too much…” he tried to call a bit of coherence there, but instead he got a laughter.

“And more that we will get…”

*****

He closed his mouth feeling all the right commissure covered by dry saliva. He frowned before moving slightly to stretch all the parts of his body and yawn wildly. When he was awake but lazy to even open his eyes, he just hugged the person beside him tighter, who was sleeping so peacefully over his torso. It was the first time Sho slept like that over him so right after finding his cute face, he smiled having an amazing morning already without having even started it. Suddenly, he felt he was going to burst if he did not go to pee, so somehow, he placed his partner over the pillow, regretting it a bit by how lovely he was being and kissed his lips before catching a few clothes and ran to the bathroom. This time he remembered where it was and realized he had only changed the room where he had slept. And a sudden nostalgia hit his being.

After having taken a pee, he went to dress the few clothes he had grabbed and found out it was his boxers, but also Sho's shirt. He bit his lower lip while tying the buttons and when he looked at the mirror, Aiba thought it was so surrealistic. It smelt so much like him that it was a fragrance which besotted him. That was why he decided to go around like that, daring to go downstairs knowing he would not find Sho, but other person. And as predicting the future, Jun was there, preparing a coffee for himself.

“Good morning” Masaki spoke with embarrassed voice as his naked feet walking slowly towards his friend. Jun turned around and kept staring at the shirt, but after his eyes were raised to smile at him.

“Good morning” he continued ending the coffee and Masaki leaned on the worktop beside him.

“How are you?” his soft voice asked to the man who was sipping a bit of the hot drink.

“As if someone would have punched me” he laughed, provoking amusement on the other boy too. “And you? Last night… I heard you” he commented while looking down with embarrassed smile. Aiba widened a bit his eyes, really finding that situation uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry… We tried-“

“Don't worry!” he laughed. “If you’re a couple, making love is normal” he was attempting to say that looking fine, but indeed he was nervous and kind of sweaty.

“We will try to be alone next time” Aiba considered and Jun nodded while faking a smile which became a tense face. The student understood he still needed time to get used so he would not say anything else if he was not ready to take that situation as a normal one.

“Ah… You should have breakfast” he spoke while putting down the coffee. He opened a cupboard and grabbed something surrounded by a plastic. “Here you have, one of my uncle’s bun. After all, he only gave them to you” Matsumoto said sweetly as his fingers left it on Aiba's hand. The boy widened his eyes not knowing what that meant exactly. Was it possible that first, Jun knew it since he saw him eating a bun, and second, only he could eat them in that house along with Sho? He felt really special at that moment. But then, Jun grabbed his coffee and patted his shoulder before walking to the door. Aiba wanted to reply so he turned around, but stayed in silence when he saw Sho on the threshold.

“Good morning” the nephew spoke with a weak smile.

“Good morning, Jun” Sho smiled at him back and his hand messed up his hair as if he was a small kid. After, the rector focused on Aiba and walked to him with a happy bright in his eyes. “That's mine” he claimed his bun, but Aiba instead of handing it to him, decided to open it and bit the first part.

“Now, it's not” he played interestingly. Sakurai chuckled and looked down to handle his amusement. Then, he did some steps to grab his hand and bite it too.

“But now, it's not only yours either” the rector smiled playfully and grabbed a bit of chocolate from the inside to stain his nose in a fast move. Aiba opened his mouth taken aback, but laughed at the next instant.

“What are you doing?!” his index finger was stained too to try to touch Sho, but his hand was faster, catching his wrist and placing himself behind him while hugging his waist with his free arm. They two were laughing a lot, Masaki being unable to fulfill his plan and being unable to release himself either. Then, in the middle of the fun, a man came into the kitchen with a phone vibrating and they stopped to look at Jun.

“Aiba, someone's calling you” he spoke while removing the sight due to the embarrassment by having found them playing so happily.

Aiba gave the bun to Sho. “Don’t eat it” Sakurai nodded with fake expression. And he went to pick it up. “Thank you” he smiled at Jun who bowed as reply. The student saw Ninomiya was who was calling him and he answered with worried voice.

“Nino?” he frowned not understanding anything. Then, he saw how Sho looked at him and heard how he asked Jun to approach and understood the best was going away to be more quiet. He went upstairs while listening to his friend.

“I’m sorry, but can you come? Because Satoshi is stupid and he has left his keys inside the bedroom and you locked it” he spoke, what made Aiba be amazed with his roommate.

“And where has he slept?” he wondered while he was already grabbing his trousers to dress them.

“Eh… with me…” Ninomiya muttered so embarrassed. “Can you come or not?” he changed the subject with strong voice and Aiba understood he did not want to talk about it.

“Yes, yes. But I may take a while” he warned him because the trip was kind of long with the bus.

“Just come” that was the last thing he said before hanging up even without saying goodbye. The student really realized how weird he was, but he did not know why. That was why he placed his hand over his mouth and suddenly, one of his fingers was stained. He smiled while removing all he could with it and licked it, remembering Sho was really cute. Then, he cleaned himself and continued dressing up by removing Sho's shirt and leaving it over the bed to change it for his own T-shirt. As last, he grabbed his stuff and went down, finding them talking yet in the kitchen.

“…okay?” the rector spoke and Jun nodded with moody face. After, the nephew started to wash his glass and Aiba approached his partner, still having the bun in his hand cutely.

“I’m sorry… I have to go. Nino has just called me because Ohno has left his keys inside and now-“

“It’s okay” he cut him suddenly. It seemed so harsh Sakurai smiled after. “You don't have to explain me all-“

“But I want” Aiba clarified with serious face and the ambient became tense hastily.

“Perfect, then” the rector tried to fix it somehow. “If you want I can take you there” he offered.

“Oh, no, no. Just get ready relaxedly, it's Saturday after all” Aiba tried his best to look okay too and smiled at him before grabbing his hand and eating another bit of the bun. His partner chuckled lowly and received a peck from him. “I’ll call you”

“Okay” he nodded and ended the bun to make him laugh before going out. He took his shoes and went away, walking through the street with strange body. It was all perfect, even with Jun, until Ninomiya called. He wondered why, but now he was more worried when he saw the bus arriving and he had to run a lot to reach it on time. Luckily, he could get in and he would be there in half an hour. Stupid keys.

*****

As easy as putting the keys inside of it and opening the door. In a second, their bedroom was available again and Satoshi came in as fast as a thunder to throw himself over his bed. Masaki came in too followed by Kazunari and closed the door so he would be able to change clothes. “How could you forget your keys?” the taller man talked still amazed for his short memory.

“Don’t say anything that the fucked one was me” Satoshi spoke aggressively, which made him be taken aback.

“And then, why didn’t you call me last night?” that would have been the most logic solution.

“Because you were with Sakurai, you would have killed me then” Ohno explained before taking clean clothes and going outside angrily. Aiba frowned, wondering what was wrong with him and looked at Ninomiya who was sitting over his own bed and not over Ohno's anymore.

“What happened between you?” he knew the reason was him. His friend only rubbed his face.

“I made him sleep on the floor…” suddenly, he spoke and it was like a revelation for the older student.

“Are you stupid? Why couldn’t he sleep with you?” he asked angrily too just by knowing it.

“I don't want him near me anymore…” Ninomiya confessed and right after the door was opened. Ohno seemed as having forgotten something.

“So it's that” but he had heard him perfectly. However, Ninomiya stood up refusing even his own words. “No, no, no. It's clear. Of course, I was just a toy for a child of first year. You all come here just wanting to live the famous university life and fuck the first stupid one you find, right?!” he shouted as angry as Aiba had never seen before after two years. Ninomiya, instead, had even tears in his eyes.

“That’s not true-“

“Fuck off! It's already evident” he grabbed the bracelet Ninomiya had done for him weeks ago and threw it to the floor, just going away at the next moment. The student only watched how Nino felt over his knees and grabbed the yellow bracelet before starting to cry really sobbing. Aiba just sat beside him and hugged his body tightly while moving slowly to calm him. And because of this, he did not hear the vibration of his phone by a call.

“Nino, why do you say that if you're so into Ohno?” he spoke sweetly, brushing his hair slowly. The younger man looked up, showing a lost and frustrated gaze.

“Why do you think that?” he dared to speak between sobs.

“Because if you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t be crying like this for him” that clarification made a hole inside of Ninomiya, who frowned deeper and grabbed his T-shirt to hide his face as his weeping was returning.

“No way…” he denied again. “There’s no way I can't accept Satoshi is my world…” he cried disconsolately.

“Why?”

“Because I just came to him exactly because of what he has just said…” he confessed and that shocked him more than anything. “I was so excited to enter the university and have an affair with someone older than me. So I just searched the first one I'd like and Satoshi was incredible…” he raised his head then, wiping away his tears to stop finally and continue. “The more I knew him, the more I liked him. Until I ended up loving everything about him… But how can I stay by his side if I just started with him for immaturity? He deserves more… He deserves someone who-“

“Who loves him as you do” Aiba interrupted him. However, Ninomiya only shook his head.

“I’ve treated him really bad lately just to make him hate me… Last night, I couldn’t sleep just by thinking he was there, that I could sleep with him… as a couple…” a tear fell again after remembering those strong feelings. “Well, I think I've gotten it” he touched the bracelet and placed it beside his, exactly the same one but in blue. “It’s over after two weeks desiring it and now it's like I don't know how to live again without him” he rubbed his face to wipe away all the tears which were falling reaching this point and Aiba was speechless regarding what he should say. Then, he thought he needed to make them be together because it was clear they loved each other as no one else, so for that he planned a way.

“C’mon, you will learn… Why don't we go to the zoo today?” he proposed, leaving Nino with weird face.

“Zoo?”

“Yeah! For sure it will be funny!” and Ninomiya accepted resigned.

*****

Then, it was lunch time already and he was following Ohno to buy food. He got a bowl of ramen and Aiba a hamburger. So with it, they went to sit. Aiba searched for Ninomiya with his gaze and he found him eating alone while looking at the window, his face was still sad and broken. He could swear he had never seen him more affected than that day. That was why, in the middle of the lunch, he pointed at him so Ohno would notice him, although he knew the boy would have already seen him by far.

“I don't want to know more about him” that was his reply, which Aiba found it quite aggressive, but he continued.

“Ohno, you're so into him, why don't you-“

“I just want to eat relaxedly, so don't fuck it up” he did not let him end the sentence, just showing more and more how hurt he was. Even like that, Masaki dared to continue, risking to even get that Ohno would be angry with him too.

“Nino loves you as no one, he's just lost. Why don't you help him?” his voice was calm, but Satoshi was like a volcano.

“Just shut up, okay?!” he shouted in the middle of the cafeteria, attracting all the gazes around, Ninomiya's included and Ohno stared at him with sad face, as their eyes were meeting once again. Then, the older boy lowered it and continued his ramen embarrassed. Masaki just put a hand over his shoulder to calm him down.

“Okay… Don't worry” he spoke to stop after and continued his previous plan. “Would you like to come with me to the zoo today?” he asked with a sweet smile. Satoshi only looked up and shook his head.

“Not in the mood…” he rejected and Aiba knew that could happen.

“If you stay in your room the whole day, for sure you won't solve anything. Come with me and for sure it will help you to stop thinking about him a while” his speech seemed as doing its effect because Satoshi sighed and accepted. “Okay, at 8pm in the pier” he marked, but his friend frowned.

“Why there?” he dared to ask and Aiba started to be afraid of being figured out.

“Ah, because I have to do stuff before in the city” he lied with a fake smile and continued eating his hamburger. Ohno just nodded and did not give it importance.

*****

They were surrounded by many types of animals as monkey, giraffes, elephants. He loved all of them, he was an animal lover by far and truly enjoyed going there every time he could. They had arrived half an hour before so they walked around a bit before reaching the pier where ducks and swans were. Ninomiya, indeed, seemed better, but he still had a sad gaze. That was why they took a bit of bread with them and had fun giving a bit to them even if it was forbidden. Aiba did not like it, but he just wanted him to smile a while. Then, he checked the big clock from the zoo, he saw it was 7:57 pm and Ohno was about to arrive. So with the excuse of going to buy some food, he left Nino alone there and went to hide behind some trees which were near the pier to watch everything.

A few minutes after, he saw a small man walking towards the pier and Aiba knew he would not recognize Ninomiya until being in front of him because Ohno never wore glasses although he needed them. That was why Masaki started to pray for them to fix it and saw how he stopped beside his friend, but no one of them noticed each other. Aiba was already nervous with that and more when I saw that Ohno looked at Ninomiya and turned around to go away. However, because of a miracle, the younger boy chased him to grab his hand, exactly the one with two bracelets together so Ohno saw them. Aiba would never know what they talked there, but that brief chat made them return to the pier and sit over it, looking at the sunset together.

Masaki waited, checking they were properly talking and hoping Ninomiya had forgotten those stupid ideas of not being enough for Satoshi. Slowly, his eyes admired how Ohno grabbed his hand to take one of the bracelets and place it again around his. At that moment, he knew he had gotten to help them to solve it. So it was the perfect time to stand up and go away. However, he smiled wildly when he saw how they kissed softly and hugged tightly. After, he saw how Ninomiya spoke a simple _I love you_ which even Aiba could understand by reading his lips and the spy stood up right away. _I love you…_ His work had really finished there. He just hoped no one would scold him for setting such a trap after. That was why he did not want to return to the bedroom and grabbed his phone to call Sho and ask if he could stay there that night too with the surprise that when he checked it, he found two calls from Sakurai.

Immediately, he called back as he was exiting the zoo, walking towards his house even without realizing it. “Hi” his answer was brief.

“Hi! I'm sorry, I've had a crazy day. Has something happened?” he asked before to see if everything was okay.

“Ah, it was nothing. I forgot to ask you if you wanted to come here again, but I think it's late already” Sho spoke with weird voice.

“It’s not” he laughed. “Because I was heading now to your place. I'm like two streets far away” he was afraid he would seem so dared for having decided to go already without asking, but he felt better when he saw Sho was wanting the same.

“I will wait for you here then” his mood was not good, though. That worried Aiba, who thought they would be happy to see each other again, but unluckily, something was inside his mind. That was why, Aiba chose to go faster so they would talk in person about what was going on.

“Yes, I will arrive soon” he answered before saying goodbye and it was impossible not to sigh when he hung up. He wondered if he was the reason why Sho felt down again…

*****

In front of him, a mature man appeared with serious face, but smiled sweetly when their eyes met. They held hands to go inside and after the door was closed, Sho kissed his lips briefly as greeting. Aiba removed his shoes flushed and followed his partner upstairs to come in the bedroom. Then, the student approached him, looking down because of their height difference and titled his head to taste his lips for second time. Longer. Deeper. His fingers felt how Sho's hand became sweaty and he could understand his nervousness. When they ended it, Masaki pressed his forehead over his to rub their noses softly and give a bit more of calm to his partner. “Sho, why are you so weird today?” his question made the rector separate from him and walk around the room while sighing deeply.

“I’m 35 years old, right?” he spoke with rage and Aiba could only nod, being really lost about what he meant. “Then, how can I be jealous of a 19-years-old boy?” he turned around to look at his lover with amazed expression and the student opened his mouth taken aback. Had he understood well?

“Do you mean Nino?” it was clear who was that boy, but he needed to ask it to confirm Sho was being jealous of one of his best friends.

“Yes” even Sakurai himself seemed angrier than him. Actually, the student only wanted to laugh and ask why because it had no sense in his head. “I’m not a kid anymore. I know perfectly what's a relationship, then why do I feel bothered when he's extremely close to you?” he talked and talked, hating himself around with Aiba only watching it amused, and probably dying by how cute Sho was being. There was no better show of affection than an undesired jealousy. That one which was uncontrollable even if there was a complete confidence with Sho. It showed how much they were in love.

That was why Aiba stopped him from continuing doing circles in the middle of the bedroom and chuckled while biting his lower lip. His chest was going to burst, his breath was so heavy and his hands were so sweaty, but everything by the happiness for having a man who trusted him no matter what. So there was no doubt to caress his jaw and speak aloud. “I love you” it was a whisper. In a blink of an eye, he confessed how deep his feelings for Sho were. It was like his world had stopped moving, like the time did not go forward anymore. And his partner just opened his mouth speechless. There was no way any voice could be out after having listened that. Maybe because the silence started to be uncomfortable, Masaki breathed deeply and continued talking. “You should be at ease… Nino is with Ohno and I'm with you, so…” he did not know too well how to talk alone there, in front of a man who was staring at him without blinking. “Sho, please, say something that I-“

“Jun is downstairs watching a movie, you know?” that was his reply and Aiba faked a smile while nodding. After, Sakurai went to sit on the bed and brushed his hair while looking down. “Jun is like my son… And I'm going out with a boy who's even younger than him… I can't say such a thing-“

“Hey!” Aiba stopped him before sitting by his side. His hand grabbed Sakurai's sweetly. “I haven't said it to obtain an answer. It's what I feel. I wanted you to know it. Don't feel with the pressure of answering me back just because-“

“Everyone wants to be answered back, Masaki” Sho turned around to look into his eyes. But the student denied it by shaking his head.

“I don't” his hand touched his gently. “I’m not like the rest, remember? That's why you chose me” he spoke with a smile at the end and Sho could not handle more his desire to hug him as tight as possible. Inside of Aiba, he had to close his eyes not to cry for not having been answered, it was the dream of his life, to be answered by Sho. However, of course he had not done it to get it, so he should be fine without it. That was why, when they separated, he smiled wildly. “Why don't we order a pizza?” his question made Sho laugh and nodded.

*****

He was returning to his bedroom in a hot Sunday morning and when he opened the door, he found two naked men sleeping together in a bed just covered by a sheet. Ohno was hugging Ninomiya while the latter was over his chest happily. Slowly, Aiba got closer and touched Ohno's cheek with his index finger. It was really soft and he loved doing that. That move continued until the man woke up with a frown. Then, Masaki indicated him to be quiet and squatted down beside the bed, he just wanted to know one thing. “Yesterday, when Nino told you he loves you… What did you reply?” he muttered to a sleepy Ohno. His friend looked at him weirdly.

“I replied back an _I love you_ ” he answered with husky voice. “Why?” he sighed while brushing his hair sweetly. Aiba only smiled gently.

“I'm just happy the two of you were able to confess finally” he hid the real fact of why he was asking and stood up to grab some papers over his desk. Satoshi raised his head.

“Are you truly going to change university?” Aiba saw the filled enrollment and realized nothing would change if he escaped from his fears. Going away would not make Sho say it. Going away would not make his relationship with Sho be less dangerous. Going away would only make him be alone, far away from his friends and of course, from the person he was in love with. That was why his hands broke the papers and threw them to the trash bin. At that moment, Ohno was answered. “I’m so happy” he smiled and Masaki nodded.

“Thanks, I still have a few things to do here” the student said thinking of Sho and returned to his friend. He approached to kiss him hair and mutter. “Take care of him, please. It seems it's the first time he falls in love” that information shocked Ohno.

“How do you know that?”

“Because I've never seen a person being more scared for love than him with you” he warned him and Satoshi only nodded before returning with his partner and kissed his temple softly. Then, it seemed like he was waking up and Aiba decided to leave the room and give them enough privacy.

Then, he walked through the empty hallways of the university, just finding counted people around, just thinking he wanted to meet just one of them. His mind analyzed his current situation, his current life, all he had gone through in just two months. How he had changed. How everyone had changed. Was he different? Was he happy? Should he change more? Or should he call that change a progression as adult? He still remembered Sho's words, he should dedicate his life to something what made his life happier. Better. Fulfilled. And one of those things was his partner obviously, another his family and friends, but the other one… What was it? He wondered it. He wondered what he would be doing the next day, the next month, the next year. He thought he had a normal life and suddenly all of this happened. Without a single explanation. Leaving all upside down. And it seemed like he got to survive because now he had just found in the middle of the hallway the man he loved and the smile on his face was wild. So it was time to recover from what had changed his life and continue awaiting for more to come to him. Because life had just begun.


	2. Just Say It In The Middle Of The Impossible - Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years after starting to go out officially, Sho decided to break up with Aiba without giving him a proper reason. One year after, Sho found out Masaki had started to go out with a woman and he had to take a decision:: should he chase him again and tell him the truth? And if it's yes, would Masaki want to come back? Would he still love him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an extra at some point of the one-short which is a link to LJ. Not obligatory to read, but it's a big explanation.

_“What happens?”_

_“I'm sorry… I think we should break up”_

_“What?! What are you talking about?”_

_“This is not working anymore”_

_“It is! It's just different-“_

_“No, I'm not happy anymore by your sid-“_

Suddenly, a sweaty man woke up breathing really heavily and grabbing the sheets with his hands tightly. One of them removed his hair to set his forehead free and he rubbed his face to set away those tears after having dreamed the same nightmare again. It had not stopped since that day. He was not unable to forget. That was why he could not sleep back at all; he needed to stand up and go to the toilet in front of his room to wash his face and look at himself into the mirror. His almonds eyes could not stop wondering why he had done that. It had been a year since that already, then why was he still remembering it as if he was living it over and over again? He was not person anymore since it and it was evident in his appearance. His face looked older already and it was not because he was already thirty eight years old, but because he stopped taking care of himself and more in summer that he did not have to go out because all his work was in a computer and papers.

His fingers touched his eyes bags and wondered how many nights he had not slept already in a row. He did not know what that was anymore. Insomnia was trying to kill him during nights every time he closed his eyes and remembered his face. Crying. Hating him. Shouting at him. That had been his last image of the person who had possibly been the love of his life. And he was unable to forgive himself. He still had no idea of how he had been able to do it. But now he was not brave enough to pick up the phone and call him. Just to ask how he was. Would he be able that day? He needed to check it. That was why he went downstairs and entered the empty kitchen. That house was empty since Jun left to move to his own apartment. He had never been sadder than that day, but it had been one year and a half ago, he was already used. So he just focused on the contact appearing in the screen on his phone. The call button showing up. His finger over it. But after all, he was not brave. How could he after having broken his heart like that? He had no right. So now he had to take down the phone and prepare a coffee not to feel that sleepy the whole day by the accumulated tiredness.

Right after, he heard the keys into the main door and tried to smile to look okay. He turned around to greet his nephew who was really grown up being almost twenty four years old already, having ended the career already, living with some friends in another part of Tokyo and working in an editorial of magazines. That was why he was holding a bunch of magazines which were left over the table before greeting him with a kiss on his cheek. “You haven't slept again, right?” he asked while taking a bit of coffee too. Sakurai just answered vaguely, not saying neither yes or no, just being into those magazines until finding the cover of one of them. His breath stopped and his eyes widened a bit. He was gorgeous. That man in those black trousers, open shirt and with light brown hair had stolen his breath again. So he could not help it but open in his section to watch the full article. He was amazing. Especially in one he was smiling wildly and he wondered if he had forgotten about him already.

“Uncle, are you okay?” Jun placed a hand over his shoulder and Sakurai closed it to leave it above all the rest of them. He nodded without a word and went to sit over a stool to drink his coffee. “I will never understand why you broke up with him” suddenly, he spoke and the uncle looked up with surprised eyes. Was it not obvious? The reason why they broke up. For Sho was more than obvious.

“Things became harder than we thought” he only replied that. Truly believing that was the main reason. But Jun was clever enough to frown and sit in front of him.

“He left the university to become a model. You weren't troubled anymore and is it when all is harder? C'mon, I'm not stupid anymore” he summarized perfectly and Sho saw how his actions had not had sense at all. He had never questioned himself if that had been what he really wanted. If breaking up with Aiba had been a good idea. He had never done it mainly because he did not want to know the answer. Maybe he already knew it. Maybe he had always known how he made that boy hate him without a reason. He had been so reckless. So mean.

“What is done is done” only that could leave his lips in a weird attempt to look decided regarding it. Jun truly knew it, though.

“But it's not over. He still asks about you” his nephew confessed and life stopped for him. Was he still asking? After more than a year?

“Why?” he did not deserve Aiba was asking about him anymore.

“How you are, if everything is going well, if you have already forgotten him” his voice was low at the end, knowing that was a hit for Sho and it was. The cup of coffee was put on the table hard and the rector looked at everything wondering how he was able to ask such a thing. There was no way he was forgetting him.

“What did you answer him?” he was only interested in that, though.

“That you haven't. That you spend your days in home, in pyjamas, taking a shower from time to time obligated, not even sleeping or eating” Jun confessed and his uncle wanted to kill him.

“Why did you tell him all of that?!” he yelled at him angrily. Aiba did not need to know all of that, he did not have to worry about him anymore.

“Because perhaps it's the truth?!” finally, his nephew shouted back, leaving Sho shocked. “Since then, you've just stayed here as a zombie! If the house is clean, it's because you've hired a woman to do it that I've seen her. If you go out, it's because you need to work to pay everything. But indeed you just want to lie down on the couch and cry for hours!” he spoke all of that out of the blue. The hardest thing to admit was that he had a point. All of that was true. “I hate watching how you spend your days regretting it and I wonder why! Why did you let him go if you love him this much?!”

“Because I saw how unhappy he was with me, okay?!” suddenly, Sho answered back, leaving Jun speechless. “I saw how he was suffering…” he brushed his hair to look down. “He just wanted to have a normal lover, to go out, have fun, and I couldn’t give it to him. I had to work, I had to go to meetings, we couldn’t get out of this four walls in order not to be figured out. I saw his face, his fake smiles. So when he started to be a model, he was so busy I felt like a bother for him. He wasn’t happy by my side anymore…” he spoke before removing a tear from his left eye. He wanted to believe he did well by setting him free. Even if now he was totally dead in that house.

“He should know all of that” the reply he got was unexpected and he shook his head, denying such an option. “He thinks you broke up with him because you weren't in love anymore. He deserves to have this explanation at least!” Jun defended his friend again, remarking how Sho was messing all up more and more.

“Why after so much time? It's useless” the uncle finished his coffee and stood up to wash it in the sink.

“Because he has started to go out with someone” hastily, he confessed and that cup was dropped in the sink, allowing it to break into thousands of pieces. It was the pure reflection of his heart, which had stopped beating for a second. Aiba loving another person who was not him? That had to be a joke.

“Joking, right?”

“Don’t expect he will spend his life alone. He has found an amazing girl. Model too. But that doesn't mean he has forgotten you. Actually, he refuses it, but he's using that girl to forget you” Jun spoke before placing beside his uncle and started to grab small pieces of cup from the sink to clean it up.

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Sakurai questioned, feeling horribly upset with all of that. Aiba was kissing, hugging and who knew what else to another person who was not him. Jealousy tried to kill his sanity, but how could he? He had been who broke up with him. Now, he should let him redo his life without a single negative feeling. However, it was impossible. And he felt the most ridiculous person of the earth.

“During those two years you went out, I've never seen you happier in my life. When he came home to have dinner, to sleep here, to spend the weekend with us… You were alive” his nephew just talked while still grabbing small pieces without the help of his uncle, who was trying to assimilate all of that. “I think you broke up because of a misunderstanding. Both of you need to talk about it. I don't mind if it's to come back or just to solve it and go on separately” then, he ended talking and cleaning to turn around and grab his bag. He searched for something inside and when he came back to Sho, he had a card in his hand. “This is where he works. Every morning, you have a chance to see him. Take it into consideration” as long as Sho did not grab it, he left it over the worktop before kissing his cheek again and exiting the house with all his stuff to go to work.

Sho was left alone there, with a bunch of new information. He was still trying to know what he should do. That was why he grabbed the card and checked the address. It was not far away from where he lived. He could go whenever he wanted. But, was he ready to see him again?

*****

A few days ago, he was crossing a big door made by long glasses, entering a big hall full of people going here and there. He was pretty lost because he had never been in an editorial before. Although Jun was working there since he finished university, he had never gone even once. If he needed something, Aiba was the one who gladly carried it to him. That was why one day, one of the photographers met him and wanted to do a test to Aiba to see how he would look as a model. That person loved him too much that the student was offered to start there a small career of model. Masaki had been really messed up with what he wanted to do and study, so that was like the revelation he was waiting for. He did not think about it too much and decided to leave the university to become a model. Swiftly, he gained a lot of fame thanks to his slender complexion, pretty face, nice smile and cool aura. That was why he started to work a lot and they ended up seeing each other no more than twice per week.

So being there was strange and felt so out of place. He did not know if he was doing what was correct. However, Jun had convinced him after that morning and another dinner they had the previous day. That young man was really supporting him to take the right decision. So there he was, approaching a receptionist to ask for his nephew. That was a start at least. The lady called him and told him after to go to the seventh floor because Jun was waiting for him there. The elevator just took a few seconds and when the doors were opened, he found a lot of people walking around with dresses, make-up, cameras and stuff. He looked around and when he did a step forward, he crashed against a person. When he turned around he saw an amazing woman standing there, wearing a cool outfit, curly, brown hair, excess of make-up and infamous high-heels.

“Oh my! Are you okay? I'm sorry” she spoke sweetly while looking troubled.

“Yes, I'm sorry too. You’re okay? With those high-heels, who could have been hurt was you” the rector worried about her, but the lady just chuckled shyly.

“Don't worry, I'm very used to wear them” she removed importance to the matter and changed her face to a curious one. “By the way… Sorry for asking, but who are you? Are you new here?” she asked nicely with a brilliant smile. Somehow she reminded of him.

“Ah, no. I'm Sakurai Sho, Matsumoto Jun's uncle” he clarified and the girl thought for two seconds before remembering who he was mentioning. “And you?” he asked just to be formal. It was very nice to talk with such a person.

“I’m Miyazaki Mia, nice to meet you” she smiled kindly and exactly when he was going to reply, a man called her.

“Mia, we should go to start-“

Exactly when that man appeared to touch her shoulder and just show how good they looked together, their eyes crashed for first time in a year. Sho could only freeze there, waiting for the oxygen to come inside his lungs. However, the man in front of him widened his eyes and did a step backwards. “What are you doing here?” his voice was harsh, inviting him to go away as soon as possible. There was no welcome by his part and Sakurai understood it perfectly.

“We need to talk” that was not the main plan after all. He was there to find Jun and talk, not to find the man who stole his heart after a year without knowing about each other. So at that moment he found the bravery he had been searching for long nights when his hand was grabbing a phone to call him.

Suddenly, Aiba turned around to look at the girl. “Mia, go ahead. I will go soon” he called her by her first name and the woman just kissed his lips in front of him, making it clear, evident. She was his new girlfriend.

“Okay, dear. A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sakurai” she said goodbye and walked away with happiness surrounding her. Then, Aiba did a gesture as cleaning his lips before being able to look at Sho.

“We don't have anything to talk” the young man cut the idea, but the rector was not going to allow it that easily.

“I thought that too. But then, Jun told me things” his way to try to convince him was brief and he doubted he would get it, and more when Aiba seemed really bothered with his friend.

“Things I assume he shouldn’t” his frown made him look older and more mature. Indeed, how he had grown up as model had made him grow as man more than Sho would have ever expected.

“That’s not important. I need to talk with you” he insisted, doing a step forwards, but he only got that Aiba separated from him with a tired face.

“I've wanted to talk with you for a fucking year, but you couldn’t even pick up my phone calls and now I have to accept just because you need it?” he reproached that fact right away and Sho knew that was unfair indeed. He remembered the first week after breaking up, how his phone was full of calls. And he only denied them all because he was not able to pick one without confessing he needed to be beside him. So now he had to find the way to make him accept.

“Look, I know I'm looking horribly selfish, and possibly, I am being so selfish, I've been selfish all this last year, but please, all has an explanation. You need to know it” his persuasion did not seem to have effect, but suddenly a cameraman called Aiba and he seemed troubled. He looked down and shook his head.

“In Remedy's at 7” he spoke out of the blue and went away to continue his job. Sakurai noticed what that meant and inwardly he was celebrating he had accepted, but also he was panicking by meeting him again to talk. What should he say? How should he say it? What would he answer? He had just gone there to meet Jun, how was he now involved in a meeting with Aiba?

*****

His feet stepped inside that bar he did not know about in a dark part of Shibuya. The light was low, mixing purple and blue to create an intimate atmosphere; people were sitting on stools at the right or in tables at the left. He preferred a table to be more alone with him again. And just that thought, being alone with Aiba once more after so much time, made him sweat under those trousers and T-shirt he was wearing. Sho was horribly nervous about what he was going to tell him and how he was going to do it. His mind still had not got a plan to do it. He was blank, shocked and blocked. He had spent the whole day like that and even being sitting in a corner of a bar, with a beer while waiting for Aiba, the rector was still trying to find a way to make him know the real reason why they broke up a year ago. He felt stupid for having taken that long, but as Jun said, he needed to know.

That was why he had no more time to think when a slender shape appeared through the door. He widened his eyes by how changed he was. It was not only his clothes - black, broken trousers combined with a black T-shirt with a skull -, but also his way of walking, his way of looking around, his way of being. It was so… mature and decided Sho felt scared for a second. He had a big impression so it was impossible to greet him normally when Masaki finally spotted him in the middle of that bar. He raised his hand to tell him he was going to get a drink and a minute after he was sitting in front of him with a glass of alcohol, which seemed vodka with lemon. Right after, the young man looked at him with strong eyes, waiting for him to talk about anything he needed to. However, as it was expected, words could not leave his mouth. So tired of waiting, Aiba sighed bothered.

“I’m not here to lose my time” he complained with a disdain improper of him. That only made him be even more shocked and his reaction was just messy.

“I’m sorry… I-I just… You know… I…” he looked down, feeling how his heart was dying by having Aiba in front of him and being unable to even talk properly. Where was their confidence? He had destroyed everything that day.

Aiba drank plenty of the glass. “I have to go in half an hour, so you decide” he put him in a rush and made Sho realize he had done other plans after just half an hour with him. That was all the time he wanted with him after all.

“I just need five minutes” he sat better on the couch to breath deeply and end that as soon as possible which seemed what Aiba wanted. So he looked up and did the step. “I want to tell you the real reason why we broke up” he confessed and finally Masaki expressed another expression instead of just annoy and boredom. “I’ve seen you've changed a lot since you work as model. And that shows me I chose correctly” he smiled bitterly, what made the man frown.

“What are you talking about?” his eyes showed how that wall was falling and he was observing those feelings again.

“I just wanted to see you happy. And even if it's not beside me every morning anymore, I've seen you smiling in tons of magazines. I could see how happy this work makes you. So I think I chose rightly when I let you go instead of forcing you to stay beside me” slowly, he spoke under that soft electronic music.

“You never forced me to-“

“I did” he cut him, who was horrified. “I could only see how you tried your best in your work, but at the same time you tried to be with me. It was obvious you couldn’t have both. You would have never chose one, so I made you chose” he gulped, not being sure because of the tear he was watching falling through Aiba's cheek. “You seemed so sad when you had to stay until late or when I had to go when you could come that I realized we couldn’t continue it for longer. I wasn't able to see any sad face more” he ended the main story realizing he had been able after all, but what he was not okay with was that destroyed expression Aiba had after having listened to the truth.

“And who are you to make me choose what I want and what I don't want in my life?” he frowned deeper and Sho knew he had taken it in the worst way possible.

“I was your boyfriend by then” he dared to reply, but that just made him become angrier.

“You had no right to make me lose you just because you thought I wasn't happy!” he yelled at Sho while standing up and hitting the table with both hands in the middle of the bar and everyone around them turned around to glance. Even like that, Sho could only look at Masaki who was crying, with his chin trembling by the rage. “You will never know how the fuck I've been during this last year” he spoke lowly, which was scarier under Sho's point of view. “You have no idea of how much I've cried thinking you had never loved me because even after two years of relationship, you have never told me a simple I love you” he reproached carelessly and that was like stabbing a knife into his back. “I’ve wondered why you had done that when everything seemed okay for me. And as I thought right after seeing you again today, I didn’t need to know anymore. I didn’t want to know” he shook his head while sitting down again. Sakurai wanted to talk, but he was frozen there. He could only blink by the desire he had of crying. “Now I have a job, I can pay a small apartment, I even got an amazing girlfriend. My career as model is perfect and I thought I was being already happy without you…” the young man bit his lower lip. “Then, why do you appear exactly now to tell me all of this? I just want you to disappear from my life forever… I just want to make like you have never existed in my life…” those words became the hardest ones Sho had ever listened to. His chest hurt for a second like if someone was ripping his heart out and then, it stopped. Mainly because his breath was cut off. His eyes did not blink anymore, just letting the tears drop without stop.

“I’m sorry, but forget me” suddenly, Aiba stood up. “Forget I once loved you. Forget everything about me. Sometimes it's too late to come back” Sho did not look up while he was talking. He did not look how he went away either. He did not know even how much time went by while sitting there without moving a single muscle. Not even thinking. Maybe it was just a minute or it ended up being thirty. The main thing was that when he reacted, he finished his beer at once and walked to the toilet. Then, he locked himself up in a cabin. And he could only pronounce the most painful and heartbreaking shout he had ever done.

*****

Surrounded by a blanket, over the couch of his house, watching just a documentary of animals in the Amazonas, Sakurai Sho had spent his daily life like that for the whole summer holidays. August was ending and he had not even prepared his work for September. He was the rector, but for what if now he was alone. He did not care about himself either. There was not anything to care about left. He might seem too drastic, too dramatic. But he was too hurt, too tired. He was regretting a lot of things, he was wondering if all of that was right after all. The questions never stopped inside his mind and after days of reflections, he reached the conclusion now life was giving him what he had done to Aiba carelessly one year ago. He was paying it. He was totally feeling what he had felt since that day he decided to break ties with him.

He had been a coward. He could never be able to talk with Aiba regarding his true feelings, his true thoughts. Now he could only wonder why would have happened if instead of just breaking up, he would have told him what he thought. How unhappy he seemed and how bad he felt about it. Would they have fixed it? Would they have talked? Would they have tried all what was in their hands to make it work? And his mind gave him the answer suddenly. Yes. They would. And the reason was even easier. Because they loved each other. So instead of trusting their love, he preferred to throw it all to the trash bin and do like they could go on in their lives as if they did not exist for each other. When it was so wrong. There was no day Sho was not thinking about him; there was no day Sho was not wondering if he was okay or if he was doing well in his work; there was no day Sho could remember his smile and his heart would not be clenched into pain for letting him go. And that was why he was there in a sofa. Just trying to stop making bad decisions. Trying not to hurt anyone else around him. What he knew as right had turned out to be wrong. So now how was he supposed to continue his life without feeling scared?

There was no excuse for what he had done and he knew that fact better than anyone. So he just stayed there. Looking as watching television without paying attention. Looking as living, but indeed he was locked in a jail of sorrows. He only changed his routine when as that day, his phone had an incoming call. He checked who was and just picked it up because he saw it was Jun. Otherwise, he never answered anymore.

“Uncle?” his voice sounded calmed, so it was not important. “You know, I'm just offering this, but I think it will be nice if you will come to my place tomorrow as long as it's my birthday. We can spend the day together” Jun offered with a happy voice and Sho understood he was giving his best to make him get out of that house, to obligate him to take a shower everyday or just change clothes often. So he was not able to reject it.

“Of course, I will be there in the morning” the rector accepted and said goodbye to hang up after. He sighed, it was a nice plan for a Sunday after all, so like that he would go out a bit. Now, it was time to take a proper shower after countless days without one. He was already sticking. So he got in the shower and it felt so good he was thanking his nephew. He would have been lost without him.

*****

Getting up from bed every morning was hard to do. It was like his body weighed as thousands of rocks. His mood was really down and he got annoyed easily by anything. In good days he would go out with just a serious expression, but in bad days his frown and disgust were pretty evident, remarking he was not up to handle the minimum stupid action. As that day. He knew it was Jun's birthday, but no matter how he tried to calm down and show a nice face, even after the whole path trying to cheer himself up, he was putting the key inside of the door disturbed. He had it just in case of emergency, that was why he wanted to appear as a surprise for his nephew, knowing his house mates were out because of holidays. However, when he got into that apartment, he found tons of garbage as if there had been a party there. He frowned and decided to go inside Jun's room, not liking what he was seeing. Indeed, there was a naked woman sleeping in the bed with his nephew trying to dress up as he could. At the same moment he saw that, he closed the door not wanting to know more although he was hearing Jun calling him lowly. He did not need any explanation, he was old enough to do that.

So Sho decided to go to the kitchen and grab a garbage bag to start cleaning all of that. Maybe he would get better because cleaning calmed him after all. But when he came inside the kitchen, he found an almost naked man preparing two coffees. The rector stopped right after figuring out he had seen that naked back too many times. And his doubts were resolved when he turned around, revealing Aiba Masaki was in front of him. Again. They both stared at each other with wide mouths and it was the young man who broke the silence.

“Didn’t I make clear that I don't want to see you-?”

“Stop that” even before ending his sentence, Sho cut that shit off. “This is my nephew's apartment, it's his birthday and he invited me, so don't even think I'm here because of you” his words were harsh and cold, not mattering how Aiba would take them, and he just went to search for the bags.

“Better” he spoke without moving, as if he was waiting for more. Sho frowned without turning around.

“Fine” he answered just because his pride needed to have the last word there. And exactly when he thought Masaki was going to answer, someone appeared in the door.

“Dear! Good morning” that voice was familiar so he took a look, just finding that woman was there again, kissing Aiba carelessly. But, as fate was hating him, the model left the coffees over the worktop to hug her waist and make it deeper. At that moment, Sakurai was bearing an uncontrollable rage which wanted to break anything around, his face was a high option. However, it was stopped when Aiba opened his eyes and glanced at him. Right after, the rector realized that was not love. It was his punishment.

“Hey! Hey! What's going on here?!” Jun came in the kitchen, stopping them, knowing Sho was looking with hateful eyes. That uncomfortable situation had to end, otherwise there would be a victim soon. That was why the couple grabbed their cups and went away, leaving the family alone there.

“Have you seen them?!” that was the first thing Sho could speak, full of rage and desire to cry for some reason. His nephew only touched his shoulders and rubbed one of them to calm him down.

“I saw it. Aiba has never kissed her like that in public until you were the one looking, but what can I-?”

“He was looking at me while kissing her!” he rose his voice a bit and Jun covered his mouth because at this pace, they would hear them.

“I told you he's using her!” he confirmed and left Sho frowning there, leaning on the worktop. He was so lost about what he could do. Jealousy was so strong in him indeed, but for some reason he was feeling so bad for her too. She was being used because of his fault after all. So there was no way he could allow that, first because that poor girl did not deserve it and second because Masaki was just lying to his feelings constantly; and all because he could not speak up back then properly.

“Then, what should we do?” the rector asked and Jun was the one frowning this time.

“Why should we do anything?” he retorted back, showing he was really lost regarding what he was trying to do.

“Because it's my fault. I should stop them from continuing this nonsense” he explained, moving his hands as if the reason was evident and Jun was being low to catch it. Indeed, his nephew only sighed and looked down before staring back at him.

“Or maybe do you just want their relationship to end because you want to get Aiba again?” his words were like a slap for Sho who widened his eyes slightly, trying to understand what that accusation meant. Was he trying to get Aiba again? Was he chasing him again? He was the one breaking up, so why now should he do that?

“No, I just feel guilty he is in such a fake relationship” the rector smiled nervously looking away because he was being a mess at that moment.

“And what if Aiba ends up in love with her? What if you’re just about to break a long-term relationship?” his nephew continued adding stuff to complicate his doubts and his thoughts. What was the real reason he wanted to make them break up? Aiba or he himself?

“Why are you telling me then he's using her and after that he may end up in love?!” finally he burst into anger by being unable to understand anything, not knowing what to do while he was seeing his ex-boyfriend with another girl.

“Because I want you to think properly what you're going to do this time” his soft voice calmed him, getting it was all in order not to allow him to commit another unforgivable mistake. “I want you to think what would happen if you did it, but also what would happen if you didn't do it” Jun explained with comprehensive eyes and Sakurai could only laugh.

“I should be the one teaching you instead of upside down” he looked at his nephew lovely, what provoked the latter laughed too and approached to hug his uncle.

“If you are going to try it again with Aiba, I will help you” he muttered during the hug and when they separated, Sho smiled at him while caressing his face.

“Thank you. I'm so proud of you” his heart talked at that moment after truly realizing how that man had grown up. Instead he had sacrificed a lot in his life when that kid lost his parents and he had to take care of him, but nowadays he was truly noticing how all of that work had been worth it.

“Just leave it to me, we will spend the day together, but can we meet tomorrow too?” suddenly he asked.

“Yeah, but what for?” it was impossible not to frown.

“I want to show you something I can't today” Jun explained with that security in himself proper of him.

“Okay, then” he accepted.

*****

After a whole day being together, Jun seemed as wanting more and made him go to his apartment the next day too. Sho had asked him for what several times, but his nephew did not say anything during all the day. The only thing he explained was that he had to get in the house with his key because he might not be there on time. At that, the rector told him why they did not meet later, but Jun insisted to meet at that hour. So as exact as a clock, he was inserting the key into the door to open it and enter that dirty apartment once again. He removed his shoes and spoke up to see if there was someone.

“I’m here!” he said, but no one replied. Then, he walked the whole hallway to wait for him in the living room. However, his brain collapse when the only person who found there was Aiba. Again.

“And Jun?” the model asked with anguished expression.

“I wonder the same” his uncle replied with mad face, understanding the whole plan. Jun had just asked the both of them to meet there alone with the excuse to go to meet him instead. That strategy was so old and evident he wondered why he had been so stupid not to discover him before.

“Then, I think I have nothing else to do here” suddenly, Masaki clarified and took his bag to walk to the door. Sho needed to be fast to stop him, otherwise the plan would fail. Because yes, it might have been simple, but it had worked as long as they were there alone to talk as Jun had told him the previous day regarding helping him.

“If Jun still thinks we need to be here alone, it's because he knows we need to talk” he leaned on the back of the sofa, looking away, just letting him go if he really wanted it, but at the same time giving him a small reason to stay. Sho really knew Masaki.

“I don't need to talk about anything with you, okay?” he turned around to face the rector, giving him the reaction he wanted.

“Then, why do I think you should?” Sakurai asked him tilting his head slightly, knowing the model loved when he did that. Indeed, he seemed affected because he looked away for a few seconds.

“Because you're just searching the smallest excuse to see me lately!” he spat nervously. “I’m sure you were who asked Jun to make this!” Masaki pointed at him with rage while breathing hard.

“I didn’t” Sho calmed his desire to say the first thing which crossed his mind and talked peacefully. As how he did in the beginning. “But I'm sure you would love that were true” his voice sounded funny at the end and that made Aiba be angrier.

“Why would I?! You're a pain in the ass” the model continued just answering without any type of control over his words; Sho knew he would not have it either. He was so impulsive. He had always been it.

“Because you would love to have me again” he changed his gaze to a deeper one and Aiba seemed more affected, angrier, more bothered. As if he was going to burst. “Is that poor girl my punishment? Is that how you want to hurt me for what I did?” after all, even Sho could not hold back his real thoughts. He just needed to know what was going on with Masaki finally.

Then, slowly, Aiba approached him. “I just want you as far from me as possible” his voice was low and scary, but there was no way Sho could get intimidated by him. No when he was right. “She's who has me right now, I'm sorry if you decided to lose me-“

“I could have you whenever I want!” Sho spat finally and this time was Aiba who was smiling victoriously.

“Continue dreaming, Sho” he commented, but said his name as old times, what erased Masaki's smile from his face.

“Let’s see who's daydreaming here!” the rector shouted mad at him. “I could get you just with a fucking kiss” he did not know why he said that. He did not know why he said a kiss. He realized the example he put was too out of place. He realized too late he had crossed the line of not returning.

“Oh, c'mon! There's no way I would fall again just with a simple kiss, way less coming from you!” Masaki spoke really heated up with that comment and what he said made Sho be even more daring.

“Admit it! I'm the only one you love right now!” he yelled at him. “If I kiss you, you will be mine again!” his constant arrogant comments made Aiba do the last step that argument needed.

“Then, if you really think that, just kiss me and see how I’ve forgotten you!” Aiba proposed totally angry. No one of them was already controlling anything, so it was not like anyone of them would stop to think if having the reason was more important than realizing what he had just said.

“I'll show you!” Sakurai did a step forward and grabbed his face with both hands to kiss his lips violently. Aiba kind of returned it so they kept fixed for several seconds. Enough to make Sho notice what was happening, what limit they had crossed, so when he panicked, the kiss was broken, but it was not like they could separate from being that close again. Those lips had touched his after so much time, his teeth could not handle his desire to bit his own lower one, tasting how well they were. His hands were still over his jaw and when he raised his eyes because no one had spoken yet, he found two black eyes observing his mouth with lust.

“This proves nothing” suddenly, he said and went to kiss him again as if he had been the oxygen he needed after having been breathless for too much time. Two slender arms hugged his waist, making their bodies to be fixed, and Sho took the chance to grab his hair as he always did when he wanted his neck to be tortured. Then, as if the last year had not happened, Aiba understood it and started to suck his skin hard.

“Okay…” he answered to him, showing he was okay with not taking that as proof to see who was right because after all, no one of them knew who had fallen in the trap of who. It was like both would always be weak with each other, would always kiss each other back if their lips were pressed together, would always treasure each caress they could do to each other's body. There was no way he could not be affected if Aiba pressed his back against a wall to kneel down and open his fly to get his half-fluffy member into his hands.

Sho only lowered his gaze to find out how that man sucked him off hastily, moving his head really expertly. His mouth could not handle at all those moans Masaki was creating with his tongue licking that marked vein he had at a side until the tip and which the model loved touching. Then, he sucked it until the end and stayed like that for a few seconds until he went backwards and coughed a bit while breathing hard. Sho just kept still, looking how Aiba was drowning his anger with those haste moves and decided to open up and give him all he had as last source to make him come back. That was why he took off his T-shirt and threw it away before speaking up.

“I’m yours…” he bit his lower lip and Aiba stood up to press their foreheads together.

“What?” he asked, maybe being truly lost or maybe just wanting to listen to him again.

“I’m still yours, Masaki” he repeated clarifying its meaning and Aiba only pecked his lips after it. Once, twice. Until they both tilted their heads and made it deeper, feeling an arm around his naked waist and a hand touching him constantly. Then, Sho's hands found the edges of his T-shirt to remove it too and it was when the model took his hand and entered Jun's room to close the door and push Sho over the bed. Right after, his lower clothes disappeared in a blink of an eye and when he realized it, Sakurai had a naked man over him, rubbing their bodies together while kissing his lips passionately. He just enjoyed that with all his being and touched his back with both hands as he usually did in the past when Aiba treated him that sweetly and gently. The rector closed his eyes and moaned all he needed when Aiba started to get inside only with his saliva. It hurt, but it was so needed he just arched his back, showing his neck perfectly.

“You haven't changed…” he spoke against his skin before sucking it softly as his hips were moving slowly. Sho felt as in paradise, as if his body was going to burst by pleasure and by nostalgia and sadness. He was hating the fact it was just a mere consequence of a strong argument. That when they would end, Masaki would see all like a mistake. That he would say sorry and go away, leaving him alone. That nothing would change less the memory of their last time together that instead of being that night after a gorgeous dinner, full of love and happiness by being reunited again, it would become that moment when they committed another mistake by having sex while one of them was cheating on his new girlfriend. And Sho was hating himself for having let him go that easily, thinking it was the right thing to do instead of being brave to talk it with him, to ask him what he wanted to do. No matter if that day he was having Aiba for half an hour again, that was just opening his eyes to see what he lost and what he would never get back.

So indeed, he opened his eyes to look perfectly at whom he had always wanted beside him since that day he found him in the bedroom of his nephew. He could not control the hand which appeared from the nowhere to touch his cheek sweetly or he could not control the tear which fell from the corner of his eye and which Masaki never saw because they were already kissing each other to drown those painful moans which seemed more like the weeping of their hearts. So slowly, Aiba grabbed him to change position and sit him over his legs, giving him the power to move. Sho only hugged his neck to start to go up and down while arching his back. His eyes looked down to find out the model was looking at him constantly, showing how much admiring his pleasurable expression turned him on. So Sakurai lowered his head to kiss him weakly, giving him the chance to trap his tongue and play with it.

The rector could only moan meanwhile because his moves became irregular due to the arrival of his violent orgasm which stained Aiba's abdominals completely. Once again, Sho looked down wondering how only Masaki could make him come without touching himself at all, only he had that power. As the one he took when they fell on the bed again because the model needed to end too. He moved harshly until Sho saw how Aiba leaned his head over his shoulder to come inside of him and produce goosebumps in the rector. Both were breathing really hard, especially Masaki against his skin, and when he raised his head, Sho looked at him, awaiting for his regrets to be spoken up.

However, the young man lowered it hesitantly to kiss him again. This time sweeter than any kiss they had shared that morning. Sho wondered why. Why was he kissing him after ending? Why was he staying with their noses touching yet? Why was he desiring to keep like that for the rest of the day? Indeed, the more they kissed, the more he remembered how deep his love for him was. So when Aiba stopped and kneeled on the bed in front of him, Sho sat too wondering why he had that face.

“I know I've just committed mistake after mistake, but I swear my goal was always to bring your smile back” Sakurai spoke, realizing they were calm enough to talk finally; their bodies did not have any strength more to argue.

“Did I seem that unhappy?” suddenly, he raised his head and looked really sad. Sakurai felt the urge to approach and grab his hand.

“I knew you needed time for yourself which I was consuming unfairly” he explained better. “Your life was about working and being with me. No time for friends, no time for your hobbies, no time for anything else” his words were soft and warm, as if they went back to that night and instead of breaking up, they were just talking about it.

“I thought I could be happy like that… It was all I wanted, a dreamed job and… you…” he spoke with lowered head. Something inside Sho broke at that moment.

“And you? When did you look after yourself?” he asked, showing him what his mistake had been. “Only having all you want doesn't make you happy if you don't care about yourself first” somehow it sounded like the rector was scolding him but further than reality, he was just advising him.

“As long as you took care of me as no one else, I thought it was already enough…” Masaki raised his head with red eyes and Sho understood how much he had always overprotected him since they started to go out.

“And when I wasn't there anymore, who took care of you?” he asked with a frown, wanting to show him how lost he had been back then.

“My friends…” the first tear fell. “I remember they came everyday to obligate me to eat and take a shower at least…” he bit his lower lip to control his trembling chin. “Until two months after, I realized I had to do it by myself…” he sobbed.

“And everything started to go well, right?” Sakurai admitted followed by a nod.

“My career as model had a big impact thanks to an important magazine; I started to go out with more people, go to parties and meeting celebrities; I had tons of girls around me; my self-esteem recovered so much that I thought I was ready to… begin something with Mia” he confessed with broken voice, not looking at Sho at all. The rector only listened to him carefully.

“And are you ready?” he chose the question hesitantly, not wanting to mess up this moment of sincerity.

“After what I've done now, it seems like I'm not” after long minutes, finally he stared into his eyes with a bittersweet smile.

“Was this a mistake?” he continued asking as long as Aiba was finally willing to answer sincerely.

“This is just the proof that shows…” he stopped a second. “…who I chose in the end…” the model looked away, whipping away the tears with his right hand. Meanwhile, Sho stayed there, being speechless by what he was saying. There was no way in this world he would have been able to guess that moment would occur. That Aiba would tell him all of that. So there was only one question left indeed.

“What will happen from now on?” he dared to speak up. Possibly he did not want to know, he would hate the answer, he would regret having asked. However, he needed to know so in such case, he would not keep waiting in his house. He would not lose his time anymore.

“I may break up with her after this. She doesn't deserve a guy who can't even decide what he wants” Aiba concluded with serious voice and looked up.

“And us?” he did not know how he could ask that, but if he continued his life without knowing it, if he exited that apartment without an answer, he would become crazy.

“There’s no us” he shook his head slowly, looking at Sho, how he formed a thin line with his lips to nod. “I’ve realized I can live without you, so there's no way we can come back” Aiba returned to that aggressive mood and stood up to grab his clothes and dress them again.

“Let’s see how long you take to come back and fuck me” he spat, being hurt and mad due to the harsh words he had suddenly dedicated to him.

“That’s true” he stopped half dressed to look at him. “The only thing I want from you is your butt to fuck when I want” his gaze challenged him as before, his anger coming back after a moment he thought it had been perfect between them. So exactly because he had abrupt hopes thanks to Aiba's fault, he stood up and slapped his left cheek as hard as he could.

“I may not deserve a second chance, but you've crossed the line” he muttered with deep voice while his breath was shaken and Aiba just kept looking at the floor. Then, when Sho saw there was zero reaction, he turned around to search for his pants, hearing how Aiba left the room behind him. Seconds after, he also heard the main door being closed. Only then, Sho sat over the bed and handled all the tears in his eyes, threatening to fall without a stop. That was why the rector stood up and went to the living room to take his T-shirt and dress it too. He needed to leave that house as soon as possible, but as if life was hating him, Jun appeared crossing the door.

“I saw Aiba running through the hallway” he only spoke while entering the room he was in too and leaving his stuff on the floor beside the sofa.

“You and your stupid plan!” he yelled at him without reason, showing how mad he was after that brief half an hour with Aiba. His feelings were a mess of anger, rage, pain, frustration and pleasure. Because yes. He had loved the sex with him. He had loved each kiss. He had loved the adrenaline the argument provoked in him. He had loved how it had become one of their most passionate meetings. And all because when they looked at each other’s eyes, their bodies still could feel how they belonged to the other.

“Uncle… What happened?” he sat over the sofa, inviting him to sit beside him and vent about everything which was causing him pain. Sho bit his lower lip and accepted.

“We argued… and he went away” he omitted the sex part, not wanting to give details to his own nephew, but Jun raised an eyebrow.

“Only that? I just want to be sure I don't have to change the sheets of my bed” he giggled sarcastically and that showed Sho he knew somehow. Their eyes met and the uncle had to lower his gaze, ashamed and flushed for his unusual behaviour.

“It's better if you change them…” he admitted sighing deeply, only gaining a chuckle by his nephew.

“So you had sex after the argument” he clarified and the rector nodded. “And how was it?” Jun asked with serious expression, amazing the older man there. He was wondering if telling him his sexual details was okay.

“I have no-“ suddenly, his words were interrupted by the bell which was ringing by some outsider. Jun stood up to go check who was and came in a hurry doing harsh moves.

“Get in the bathroom!” he spoke in a loud mutter, at what Sho remained still, not understanding anything. “It’s Aiba, just get in the bathroom!” he clarified to make him realize the situation and Sho panicked, running to do what he had been told. He closed the door slowly and sat over the WC which was beside it to listen to what happened outside.

“Aiba? What's wrong?” Jun asked with fake surprise, what the friend figured out.

“Don’t make fun of me” his voice sounded broken as if he had been crying hard a moment ago. “You planned all of that, right? You made us be alone here, right?” Sakurai could listen how they came into the living room to talk. For long.

“I did, yes. I really think you need to talk and fix everything” his nephew was pretty straight there, not knowing if because it was already the time to be straight or because he was in the bathroom hearing all.

“Fix what?!” he sobbed. “Should I go out with him again to be broken into pieces after?” the young man spoke up his biggest fear and Sho's breath was cut off. So it was that…

“You desire it. When was the last time you dreamed about him?” Matsumoto asked with soft voice.

“Last night…” that mutter left Sho speechless, really understanding how he was not the only one who could not forget the other.

“See? No matter if years go by, you love him” his friend helped him to conclude.

“No… I love Mia” Aiba tried to continue lying to himself and it was even evident for the man who was locked up in the toilet.

“You’re using her” his words were harsh. “Otherwise, why would you cheat on her with my uncle, then?” he remarked.

“How do you-“

“I came back earlier, finding clothes on the floor and hearing moans inside my bedroom” the editor explained with a sigh. “Tell me”

“I would repeat it thousands of times…” Masaki said full of rage. “Having him again after a whole year seemed like… what I dreamed every single night… I need him so badly I'm so mad at him at the same time” his confession made it all seem clearer.

“That’s why you two argue every time you talk” Jun concluded with zero surprise. “What do you want to tell him, but you're unable to?” his nephew asked really well.

“What do I…?” he sounded as thinking for a few seconds. “I always thought there was a reason behind his sudden decision of breaking up. I spent the first months believing he would come back to tell me. Even when he didn’t come back, I tried to become a proper man so he would be proud of me the day we would meet again…” he sobbed. Sho cried. The small space between them became unbearable for Sho who only wanted to go out and apologize on his knees.

“And what changed?” Jun dared to ask.

“That only now I realize how much I suffered unfairly” Aiba's confession broke Sakurai's heart completely and he leaned on his hands not to sob hard in that small room.

“So isn't there even a single glimpse of hope between you?” the main question was done and Sho held his breath.

“I wish there was…” that was his muttered answer and the man in the bathroom sat on the floor to hide his face on his shrunken legs to cry and regret every second he chose to lose him forever.

“Aiba, you're the love of his life-“

“And he's mine” he cut his words off. “But it's impossible we are able to make it work after all we suffered because of each other” he explained with soft voice, piercing more the hole into his heart.

“Are you sure it's that and you're not afraid of failing again?” Matsumoto's voice sounded angrier this time.

“The best he can do right now is hating me…” he heard a man standing up and coming out of the apartment after such words. Sho did not get out of the bathroom, though. He just kept there, with his gaze lost on the blue tiles which formed the wall in front of him. The silence seemed eternal because even when Jun came to see how he was, he could not hear what he was saying. It was like his mind was only focused on one thing. And it was called Aiba Masaki.

Then, refusing Jun's help, he just stood up difficultly and went to grab his shoes to exit that house, no mattering the questions his nephew was doing constantly. He just needed to be alone. To think if it was time to give up and admit he had lost Aiba forever. If he did not, he would not be able to go on in his life. He would not be able to overcome it and be happy again. But at that sudden thought, he wondered. “How can I be happy if I'm not beside you?”

*****

September arrived. Work started. University was a mess. And his mind could not catch up with everything he had not done during August. He was quite regretting not having worked at all during that month, but somehow he was okay with it because like that he was only working and sleeping, without time to think. To think about him. So indeed, he dedicated his days to work. And work. And more work. Not having fun. Not going out. Not meeting friends. Not dedicating a single second to himself. It was like if he had become a robot who could not stop working, because it was the only way his mind had not to remember the pain and memories he wanted to forget as soon as possible.

So when he wanted to realize it, two months had gone by. November was ending. The cold was arriving. Next month Christmas would come. Next month his nightmare would appear for second, consecutive year. And he did not want to stop and imagine how it would be. Because it was not only Christmas. It was also the miracle birthday, as he liked to call it. Other times, he would smile bitterly filled with nostalgia, but this time he just sighed, drowning the pain into the first glass of whiskey of the night. Only like that he was able to sleep.

Then, almost ending the work of the day, his phone started to ring and he checked the screen to read the name in it. It was his nephew, it was okay then. “Hi, Jun” his voice was huskier lately.

“Uncle, I need your help” suddenly he said and Sho could not stay calm.

“What happens?”

“I forgot important examples for a magazine in my apartment and I told my boss I would bring them this night. There's a big party here right now, so I can't move. Can you bring them to me?” he begged with troubled voice and Sho doubted for a second.

“Is he there?” first he asked.

“No, don't worry, it's just a party for editors” he confirmed and Sakurai sighed relaxed.

“Okay, wait for me in the lobby” the rector accepted while listening to thousands of thanks coming from his nephew. After hanging up, he ended the glass of whiskey in one swallow and went to take the keys and shoes to go there.

The apartment was being a mess as always so he had to be careful of what he was touching inside of those drawers. Luckily, he found a big folder with what seemed like examples. So having them in hand, he left the house to get in the car and start to drive again straight to the editorial. Even if his nephew had told him he was not there, his heart was beating faster and faster. When he was right in front of the building, he doubted a second if he should enter, but then he remembered his nephew was waiting for him and had no other choice rather than doing it. So Sho grabbed the folder and got into the crowd there, after convincing the security guy he was Jun's uncle. Everyone was having a nice time, enjoying expensive drinks and cool music played by a DJ. Indeed that party seemed really luxurious and really private. But somehow he was starting to be pissed off when he could not find Jun in the lobby at all. It was true that there was an excess of people there, but he could have stayed in a visible point.

Then, doing circles there, he entered another room where the party still continued and realized how the ambient had changed. People were not already wearing dresses and suits, but cool clothes, as if they were designed only for that moment. And suddenly, when he turned around, he saw two well-known faces there. They had changed a lot. He hesitated if he should approach to them, but when their eyes met, he knew he was totally unwelcomed by them, and possibly because of that, the two men walked towards him.

“Sakurai Sho, long time no see you!” one of them faked sincerity and showed his hard sarcasm.

“Ninomiya, Ohno, long time no see you” he said politely, bowing slightly his head.

“And what are you doing here?” Ninomiya continued his smart comments although he was still his student in the last year of university. They knew each other well enough to maintain that nice chat.

“Jun needed this and I'm bringing it to him, do you know where is he?” he asked too, taking advantage of them to find his nephew and get out of there as soon as possible.

“No, last time we saw him, he was with a group of important editors in the second floor” Ohno informed him coldly. Sho could not say anything else than a simple thank you while his mind planned going upstairs.

“You better get out before-“

“Guys! I'm so glad you came!” a tall guy appeared, hugging Ohno tightly first. “Happy birthday, Satoshi” he said before breaking the hug and looking around. Suddenly, their eyes met for first time in three months and he could see how that man got angrier than never. “What are you doing here?!” he spoke rudely, shouting but it was not noticed by how loud the music was. Sho just kept there, being unable to say anything. “Why can't you disappear from my life?!” he continued yelling at Sho, this time when the music was not that loud anymore and people started to look at them.

“I've just come to-“

“I don't care! Just go away!” Aiba was unable to control his voice anymore, he was not able to control his feelings for Sho anymore.

“I can't!” the rector yelled at him back. “You’re always thinking I come here because of you and you're always wrong!” the argument began to be loud even in the lobby so people gathered around them, wondering what that was about. Then, before Aiba could answer, a breathless man came in a hurry to grab the folder and be between them.

“Just shut up you both!” he spoke looking at them by turns. “Everyone is listening to you, I remind you big fishes are here, don't ruin your chance just for shouting at him” Jun scolded Aiba and turned to Sho to kiss his cheek and whisper beside his ear.

“He's free… Go for it” he patted his back and ran outside in a second. Then, he looked up at Aiba and felt a harsh grip around his wrist which pulled him to somewhere. But, before leaving, he could hear Ninomiya.

“He’s so weak…” what made him just be dragged into a dressing room which had a lock, just to shout at each other all they wanted until ending up being tired of hating each other. After all, that was what Aiba wanted.

“Masaki, I-“

“Why can't you hate me?!” the model yelled with his eyes red. Sho was already noticing how Masaki was unable to handle that situation between them anymore.

“Why do you want me to hate you?” he asked, this time softer, so maybe he would relax too. Maybe they would be able to talk as two normal people.

“Because everything would be easier…” he leaned against a wall with his back to rub his face with a hand. “You wouldn’t approach me and I wouldn't have to-“ he shut up at the next second and Sho frowned, knowing what he was going to say was the last proof he needed to know Aiba wanted something back.

“To do what?” Sakurai asked calmed while doing a few steps forwards.

“I wouldn’t have to control myself from kissing you…” finally, he confessed and Sakurai bit his lower lip, thinking how he could do the step of asking him to come back. “That's why I want you to hate me…” he continued when there was not a reply back from the rector and silence was torturing them.

“I can't hate you” he approached until having to look up. “I love you with all my might” Sho spoke before approaching his lips to kiss him sweetly. It was not returned, what was more, Aiba stopped him.

“What are you-“

“I love you…” he repeated against his lips, kissing his lower one tenderly. “I love you…” once again, it was said. “I love you, Masaki…” he could not stop saying it and kissing him while his hands were grabbing the neck of the jacket he was wearing. “I love you so much…” he pressed his body against Aiba's and tilted his head a bit to make it deeper, having a man who was following him without a complain.

“I love you too, Sho…” the model answered back as he gave up and hugged him tightly to turn around and corner him against the wall.

“I love you more…” the rector played without a smile. He just said it seriously while receiving each kiss Aiba was giving to him.

“Impossible…” he stopped to caress his cheek and rub their noses. “I’ve waited for you too long” the model kissed him again, having Sho gasping when his mouth was not covered.

“And I've fought for you too much…” the rector answered while looking straight at his eyes. Aiba could only trap his lips again as his hands started to open the shirt Sho was wearing slowly. The rector only let him do, removing the model's jacket when he had the chance. Only when Masaki sucked his neck possessively, he could take a look to the small dressing room they were in, having just a chair and a small closet with a mirror on the door beside them. Thanks to that, he saw how Aiba was touching his body, how his hands tried desperately to take off all his clothes; his eyes observed his expression, his closed eyes, his saliva falling from the corner of his mouth. Indeed, that was so incredible that Sho decided to press Aiba's back against the door so he would have the mirror in front of his eyes, he would have to face the truth of those moments. Then, he opened his fly to release his already-hard erection and bit his lower lip.

“I will take care of it” he whispered beside his ear and bit his lobe before kneeling on the floor and started to suck him off as the last time Aiba did. Slowly, he dared to look up and found Masaki keeping his gaze fixed on the mirror to watch how he was moving with his head while moaning a bit. How Sho was his owner, no matter what. Also, his eyes followed how his hands tried to stop him because of how he started to tremble by the sudden pleasure the rector was giving to him. So that when Masaki closed his eyes, Sakurai stood up, continuing with a hand, to spoke over his lips. “This is what you are, what you want… Just accept it…”

Aiba shook his head before grabbing Sho strongly and placed his torso against the wall beside the mirror. The rector felt two hands opening his trousers, touching his crotch, lowering all his clothes to be exposed. He only let him do, knowing he was just canalizing his anger like that. Suddenly, he felt two fingers inside his mouth so he sucked them, the tongue against the fingertips while his butt was being rubbed by Aiba's crotch. Then, after his mouth became empty, he dared to look at the mirror and see how Masaki did it. How there was only rage in his movements. How he was hurting him by being so harsh, but also how he was saying nothing because he knew it was his fault. However, when the rector noticed Aiba was out of control, his voice echoed in the room.

“Look at the mirror…” he spoke and looked there too, so he would find Aiba's gaze straight. “You’re hurting me…” he confessed, knowing he would have regretted not having stopped him sooner. Then, the moves were stopped at the next second and Aiba looked down, seeming really lost and overwhelmed. Sakurai could only grab those hands which were around his hips to make him hug his torso, inserting the right one inside his opened shirt to place it over his beating heart. Right after, when he felt the embrace becoming tighter and that his back was completely covered by a warm torso, Sho did not lean on the wall anymore to arch his spine and place his head over Aiba's shoulder while his hips started to move by their own, making the rector gasp again. But this time full of pleasure.

Somehow, like that he gave the model a second chance to control all inside of him and end that moment properly. And luckily, it was used because slowly, Aiba started to move too, kissing shyly his neck from behind. Their hands kept over his chest, but somehow Sho got to intertwine their fingers while the other one was lowered until touching the rector in a great speed. With that, he could only close him eyes and just moan freely because the loud music outside was covering any type of sound inside that room. Meanwhile he had a man gasping huskily beside his ear and unexpectedly, he walked to a side, ending up facing the mirror. Sakurai could only look at Aiba through it, how his eyes begged for relief.

“I love you, Masaki” he whispered, completely fixed at his eyes, and the model hid his face on his shoulder to go faster and forget those words for a while. Then, because he really increased the speed, Sho could not handle it anymore and saw how the mirror was totally stained with a white liquid which was going down slowly. Meanwhile, he felt behind him a man who was coming too and due to that, his body was strongly hugged. Sakurai was just able to see a man who was literally cuddling him after ending and he kissed the hand which was still intertwined with his yet. “Masaki… We should dress up and get out-“

“Wait…” he said after all and finally the hug was broken, allowing Aiba to close his fly, but right after, he had that man over him again, being trapped against the wall, having his lips being kissed softly. Although, he was loving that, he stopped him and tried to dress again his lower clothes in a hurry. Right after his fingers zipped his fly, he kissed him again, who had been waiting patiently in front of him. Even if Masaki had time to think what he was doing, he remained there, waiting to be kissed by the rector again.

Then, the model lowered his face to breathe as so did Sho and started to fasten his shirt slowly, melting Sakurai by that cute gesture. “Why do we always end up having sex if we're alone?” he asked with calm voice, as if his rage had disappeared.

“Because we need each other” the rector explained briefly. But maybe it was not enough for the model.

“I couldn’t stop thinking of what happened that day in Jun's apartment during these three months” he confessed, just looking at those buttons being fastened sweetly. Sho was speechless. “I broke up with Mia… I tried to meet someone else… But only you-“

“That’s how this last year has been for me” he cut him off, trying to explain how hard breaking up had been for him too. “Only you-“

“Why? You were who broke up and-“

“I still loved you” he spoke with a knot in his throat and his hands went to grab Aiba's which were already just placing correctly the neck of his shirt, as he did every morning when he had to go to work. “I still love y-“

“Why are you saying it now so many times?” Masaki seemed bothered.

“Because I could finally accept my feelings for you” he spoke softly. “And I know you love me back so why don't we start from zero again?” suddenly, Sho proposed, intertwining their fingers while looking straight at his eyes, which looked horribly scared. Slowly, Aiba tightened his fingers and leaned his forehead over Sho's shoulder.

“You understand if I need time to think, right?” he muttered and the rector kissed his hair sweetly.

“Of course, at least you're considering it” he remarked the good part and slowly, he heard a small giggle. Then, the younger man raised his face showering a shy smile.

“You haven't stopped until getting me” he spoke with a slight pout what made Sho smile too for first time in long, long months.

“You’re so worth it” he bit his lower lip to hide his embarrassment and Aiba separated to grab his jacket and turn around. He heard how he breathed deeply, showing how that comment had affected him, what made Sakurai smile even wilder.

“I need to continue working here” abruptly, Aiba changed subject and Sho just decided to follow it.

“Sure, I'll return home to rest” the rector informed and walked to the door, wanting to end that tensed situation as soon as possible or his heart would explode as the first day. But before he opened the door, Aiba made him turn around to leave a soft kiss over his lips.

“Good night, then” that was the last thing Sho needed to be completely speechless and happy as a little kid with a candy.

“G-good night” he giggled nervously and opened the door in a hurry to get out, but crashing against someone unluckily. Then, when he was going to apologize, his eyes found a known woman who was staring at them with widened eyes and more when she could reach to see the mirror because Aiba had not been able to close the door on time.

“Is him?” she spoke with hurt voice. Aiba only glanced at him as saying to go away, but Sakurai was too shocked. “Have you fucked with him inside there because you're a liar or because he is who you meant?” Mia continued asking Aiba with tears in her eyes and the model had to grab her arm so they would go to another place, but Mia refused his touch.

“Mia, really-“

“You broke up with me because you wanted to be with someone else, at least I have the right to know if he is” she started to cry in front of Aiba and at that moment, Sakurai started to move to get out of there as soon as possible, maybe leaving Masaki wondering if he had heard that or not. But indeed, he had heard it clearly. So much he had just run away not to listen to the answer because he was really afraid of it. That would mean that the time he had just asked to think was not to take a decision, but to be brave and make the step because Aiba had already taken the decision long time ago. However, Sho needed to know since when he had decided such a thing. Since when Aiba had chosen him again…

*****

Slowly and swiftly at the same time, December arrived and days continued going by, being unable to stop the time, no matter if he wanted to wait without observing how the clocks around him just told him he was losing his time. And never better said. After all, since that day in the party, Aiba had not contacted with him at all and Sho did not know if he should continue waiting for his answer or not, because also his calls had been all rejected. So he stopped days ago, frustrated by returning to that desperation of not knowing what was going on with Aiba. Why was he behaving like that when in the dressing room he seemed as before breaking up? Maybe, had all been a lie? Had he lied to him just to let him be alone finally? If so, Masaki was an extraordinary actor because Sho had believed even the last dot.

That was why after two weeks, classes had ended and Christmas holidays had started, but as always he was going to be only in home, alone and bored, thinking about him constantly. So in order to disconnect a bit after a whole crazy year, he reserved a small house in the middle of the mountains where he could even do sky and winter activities. Maybe like that his mind would be focused on something more than him. And due to all of that, at that exactly moment, he was packing his luggage to spend until the first week of January there, not wanting to know anything about anyone for a while. But in the middle of that, his phone rang suddenly and he pretended it was not, but his character did not allow him not to pick it up so he did and the voice who answered at the other side cut his breath off.

“Sho… Sorry for all the calls… I need to talk with you, can we meet?” he asked, sounding deeply anguished, as if something was killing him inside.

“I have to take a train in two hours, can you tell me through here?” Sakurai answered with emotionless voice, maybe a bit angry for his behaviour indeed.

“It's important, though…” the model persuaded him and he thought he understood what he was meaning.

“Is it about your decision?”

“Yes” he confirmed and Sho felt a sudden knot inside his stomach hurting too much. Then, maybe not being ready or not wanting to hear it yet, he proposed something totally unrelated.

“Look, I'm going to spend Christmas in a house in the middle of the mountains alone, if you decide to give me a second chance, meet me in Harajuku Station at 4 pm. If you don't come, I will know your answer” he said an ultimatum after so many months playing to come and go and just heard an okay back. After, there was silence and he decided to hang up. The call had been so cold and tensed he had already no hope left he would appear there. There was no way he would choose to go with him after all what happened. So not thinking about it too much, he ended his luggage and checked everything was correct. Then, he took a taxi until the station and even though he knew the answer, he sat on a bench to wait.

It was damn cold and the hour to take the train was arriving and even like that, there was no sign of him around. His eyes were looking at a side and then at the other side and he repeated it over and over again. And when he wanted to realized it, he was praying to suddenly see his shape running through the station with a bag. However, he heard the last call for his train and he could not wait anymore. Even walking to enter it, he continued looking around. His eyes needed to find him, needed to check Aiba had chosen him. But as that was not a love story movie, no one appeared and he saw how the train doors were closed and it started to move. Sakurai sat on his seat not to disturb anyone, but actually he just wanted to remain beside a window to observe if he appeared running, just having been late. That Sho had not been rejected by Aiba after all they lived and said.

He was just praying he would close his eyes and Masaki would appear beside him with a smile, starting their first trip as couple again. And the reality was he was alone in a train with destiny to a lonely house for the next three weeks. At that moment he realized how he had no one and now more that Jun was an adult with his own life to live. The only person who thought he would share his life with had vanished in front of his eyes for being stupid and coward. There was no way he would be able to forgive himself one day.

*****

Having arrived after the train and a bus, he was already in a comfy house made by wood and rocks. It was all snowed outside so to be warm there, he decided to start a fire in the chimney which was in front of two white sofas with a small coffee table in the middle. At the left there was a big window with the sight of a snowed forest with a lake hidden behind the trees; and at the right, there was a table with four chairs to eat, then beside it there was a kitchen with open concept for all that floor, only separated by a small door for the bathroom. Then, between the kitchen and the main door, there were the stairs to go up to the bedrooms. The house was small, but also perfect to have incredible holidays disconnecting from any sign of life near. Of course if he could stop thinking about a person. So he sat on the sofa and looked at the fire for long, wondering why.

Slowly, he lied on the couch and closed his eyes due to the warm fulfilling his body. Maybe he ended up sleeping there, maybe not, but a knock on the door woke him up completely startled. He was not sure if he had heard correctly because after all it might be he was dreaming, but even like that, he wanted to check if there was someone out of there making fun of him. So he went to open the door while rubbing one of his eyes and yawning. At the same time, he was going to talk, but any type of word was cut off when he saw a slender body, covered with a big coat, in front of him. He wondered how or when. He was really shocked there, not knowing if he was still dreaming or he was totally awake. Aiba Masaki was right in front of him.

“Sho, please, let me come inside that I'm freezing” that man complained and the rector moved to a side so he would come and leave a big bag on the floor. Meanwhile, Sakurai closed the door and turned around to ask for any single explanation possible.

“How have you reached this place?” that was the first question he did and Aiba only giggled while removing his coat.

“I called Jun. I knew you always give him an address in case of emergency” he smiled shyly and Sho opened his mouth in disbelief. Then, his hand grabbed Aiba's to drag him until the sofa, so he would be warm too. Slowly, he sat beside him, waiting for something to break the ice. And surprisingly, Masaki placed his head over his shoulder, making Sho's heart beat frenetically. “You thought it was a no, right?” suddenly, he spoke.

“Well… Yes, but-“

“It was” he confessed in a second, leaving Sho speechless. Then, why was he there now? “I wanted to meet you to tell you I couldn’t continue this nonsense. That I wanted to forget you no matter what” his voice sounded really sad and Sho handled the desire to hug him although he was saying all those painful things. “But when you told me to escape together and come here for Christmas… I thought I was losing you completely if I didn’t come” slowly, his hand grabbed the rector's to intertwine his fingers. “ _It’s want you want_ , I thought. But then I started to cry while searching for a bag desperately, just putting all I found in and I ran to the station, being almost one hour late” he told with anguished voice. At that moment, Sakurai moved to sit looking at him and their both heads were leaned on the back of the sofa. “I called Jun, I took the first train possible, I walked endlessly with Google Maps… All for having those amazing holidays we could never have” he spoke while caressing his face as a tear was falling. Sho was happy. He was horribly happy by having been chosen by him. By finally having been forgiven.

“You can call Jun, but you can't call me to tell me to wait for you?” Sakurai saw the funny part in all that mess and Aiba showed a shocked expression.

“That would have been easier…” he sighed with painful face and the rector could not control his laughter, dragging Aiba to hug him tightly. He was the most beautiful airhead he could love after all.

“You're amazing” he muttered beside his ear, feeling how Masaki was cuddling up in his arms.

“Sho” softly, he called him so the older man looked down, finding his beautiful, almond eyes. “Do you still want to try it for second time?” Aiba asked with doubt, producing a wild smile in the rector.

“I’ve been wanting to come back since the day I broke up with you” he answered before approaching their faces and rubbed his nose sweetly.

“You're so stubborn, then” the model grabbed his neck and approached slowly to start their first kiss as new couple. It was soft and slow, just showing their true colours to each other again. It became one of the best kisses they had ever exchanged and that made Sho smile, what provoked the kiss to be broken.

“I want you right here” the rector whispered over his lips, spreading his smile to Aiba too.

“I think these holidays are going to be really interesting…” he answered with deep voice and Sho made him lie on the sofa, starting to kiss any single part of his body slowly, making a mountain of clothes on the floor, staining the sofa with sweat and not only by the fire, filling that house with low moans and the cracks the couch was doing every time Sho moved sweetly. There was not an end for that, it was just Aiba and Sakurai, naked on that sofa, making love in front of a chimney which was illuminating the room because the sun had already disappeared.

It was impossible not to feel the luckiest man of the world if the man of his life was allowing him to possess him again after the longest year of his existence. “Masaki… I love you…” that whisper was only known by these two men who smiled together. The younger man only hugged him stronger to scratch his back while panting.

“I love you too, Sho… Too much…” they continued showing their love like that, with small, meaningful touches and kisses, even words and actions every single time. Probably, they would not like to talk about what happened between them for a long time, but at that moment, they were realizing it helped them to really aim for spending their lives together, even if death would try to separate them one day.

*****

1 year after

Returning from that house in the middle of the mountains after another wonderful Christmas together seemed like having become their tradition. That house was like the place where their lives were connected again so they decided to buy it and try to go every winter to be alone for some weeks. To show their love freely, without a paparazzi following Aiba in the street because he had become really popular until the point of appearing in a drama and TV shows too. It was really shocking, but also amazing he was loved by so many people, in general teenagers, obviously which was hilarious for Sho who watched all in his house where Aiba decided to move finally and live together so they would spend time together even if their jobs kept them busy.

Since that day, isolated from the civilization, they had tried their best not to only make it work as good as never before, but also to talk everything and create a proper communication in the relationship. No matter if they had doubts, they could talk, expose them, solve them. And thanks to that, they were better than during the first attempt. As always, Sho were being picky about tons of things which made Aiba laugh in good days and argue in bad days. But what counted was that after all, when they went to the bed, they lay looking at each other and apologized, ending up cuddling and waking up being a mess under the sheets. Probably, that was the best relationship Sho had been in by far.

So no wonder why he panicked when they returned from their yearly trip to the mountains house and they found out that a magazine had published photos of them taking that trip together. What was more, publishing photos and information about Sakurai, revealing he was the rector of one of the most important universities of the country. So yes, it was time to sit on a chair while his eyes just watched how there were photos of them taking a walk, going skiing, laughing together, even kissing in front of the frozen lake when the sun was going down. What was the last, evident proof everyone needed to believe that romance.

“Oh, this one is really good!” Aiba was amazing by the lake one and Sho turned around to look at him as if he was an alien instead of his boyfriend.

“You're kidding me, right?” his voice sounded so anguished and angry that Masaki sighed and removed the magazine from his hands, kneeling on the floor in front of him. He grabbed his hands while thinking how to talk.

“For me, it's not a big deal. And even if it is, I don't care; I'm young so I can find something new” he explained with soft voice. “But I know how it may affect you and all you've built” he lowered his gaze. “If I were a woman, that wouldn't happen…” he sighed and continued even before letting Sho talk. “But! Don't you think it's a progress?” he asked with that soft smile.

“Where's the progress?” he asked trying to get the point calmer.

“Going out with someone of your same sex is still so taboo here, but if you treat it like something natural, you will minimize the consequences. What's more, convert this into power for your university. I'm sure there are tons of boys and girls who are scared of not being accepted for their sexual condition and that it may hurt their studies, so why not sending the message that they can be whatever they want in your university?” he spoke that speech which left Sho startled and that just made him realize how good man Aiba was.

“But I can't go carelessly saying-“

“I’m not talking about painting the walls with colours, but simply the words of you will be accepted here can save more young people than you think” Masaki concluded, changing Sho's mind completely. “For changing the world you need to break some rules before” he smiled widely and Sakurai looked away, smiling too by how proud he was feeling.

“You’re simply amazing” he spoke before having a man hugging his neck happily.

“So… Would you like to do a photoshoot with me…?” suddenly, he asked and Sakurai separated him like a spring, truly understanding what he had just done.

“Oh my- You're the worst!” he stood up to grab the bags looking even amused by that trick. Aiba just followed him trying to explain myself.

“No! Hey! Listen to me, I didn't mean that!” they went upstairs while arguing as they both laughed. As always.

“No, of course no! Masaki, I know you!” he left the bags in their bedroom and started to place the clothes inside the closet.

“Really! I said all of that before my manager sent me this message! Look the hour!” he gave him the phone to read it and saw he had reason.

“ _We need to explode this, get your partner for a photoshoot and you will be the cover for Men's Non-no_?!” he exclaimed at the end recognizing Aiba did not get to appear in such big magazines, way less in the cover.

“Exactly! Non-no! It's exactly what we both need” he grabbed his hand to make him look at his eyes.

“Aiba, I have no idea if it will bring problems to my university, I can't go doing photoshoots as you” he rejected the idea even though it was an amazing chance for his career.

“Okay, let's do this. We go, do the photoshoot, which take a few days to be processed and done, while you check how it goes and if you think it's bad, I will break the contract” Masaki proposed, sounding so desperate Sho was feeling really bad if he had to say no again. So he only sighed while looking down.

“Promise you will” only with that he already had a man hugging his neck with an endless vitality. Sakurai could only smile slightly by seeing him that excited.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You will love it!” he spoke hyperactively and pecked his lips before calling his manager to accept it. At the next second, Sho was already regretting it. Mainly, because it was going to only throw more wood to the fire.

*****

A few days later, he was still handling the effects those photos provoked in his image as rector and in his reputation. Indeed, some people were mad about it, wondering what type of rector he was having a relationship with a model, but what Sho understood from that was that those photos had nothing bad. The main fact was not he was with his partner, the main fact was that it was a boyfriend. Finally, he understood what Aiba wanted to mean and since then, he raised his head and went around admitting that yes, he liked men too and he was proudly going out with one. Many people came congratulating him what was shocking, and as Masaki said, he was minimizing the consequences.

That was why he was really relaxed in his office, ending some papers before going to the promised photoshoot which he ended up wanting to do even more than Aiba, when suddenly, he heard some shouts from girls in the hallway and he wondered what was going on out there. Then, the door was knocked and he allowed the person to come inside. No wondering why anymore, he saw his boyfriend coming inside with a smile and Sho could not hide his either. “What are you doing here?” he asked while standing up to go and greet him with a peck.

“I told you I was going to come…” Aiba frowned. The rector tried to remember, but nothing. No memory was coming back.

“When did you…?”

“This morning, when you were sleeping” he said confident.

“How the fuck do you want me to hear you then?!” he shouted being totally amazed by that man.

“Sometimes you answer back so I think you can hear me too” the model shrank his shoulders and Sho decided not to continue that chat because he would only become crazier.

“And… how do you dare to come here?” he spoke while grabbing his stuff so they could go.

“What happens? I come to see my boyfriend” he smiled handsomely. “Also, did you hear the girls?! And some boys got shocked too! I even greeted some old teachers” he laughed nicely and Sho understood how well he was managing all of that; if he had to do it, he would not be able to.

“I think everyone is being nicer than what we thought” they talked while coming out of the office, being together for first time in the middle of the university, with everyone looking at them and several girls were dying lowly.

“I told you, especially young people are so open-minded these days” he commented with a smile and Sho got excited to tell him a story, looking as if they were in their own bubble instead of being publicly exposed.

“You know? Today, the parents of a student came angrily, wondering what type of university this was when even the rector is gay. And suddenly, their own daughter answered them that I have been an amazing reference to follow as long as she's lesbian and she needed support” he said as a small kid, being happy about it and Aiba patted his shoulder as a sign of being proud of him. He knew they both were desiring something closer, but around half of the university was watching them through the campus, so they decided to get in Sho's car as soon as possible and stop that wild adventure where people was even recording them with phones.

“So are you going to allow the publication of the photoshoot?” Aiba wondered.

“Who knows…”

*****

The photographer was a crazy guy who loved Aiba as model and who could not stop at all, walking around, checking everything was perfect for one of the most original sessions he was going go do, according to him. But when Sho looked at his clothes and hair, he wondered who he was. Instead, he looked at Aiba and he was simply beautiful as always. So he approached to tell him. “Masaki… I don't see this…” he muttered and his partner smiled comprehensively.

“It's okay. You're always in a suit, it's just that this time there's no tie, the shirt is opened and your hair is cooler. But you're hot, just handle this for the cover, after it will be better” he explained and grabbed his hand to enter the set. Sho was being so tense he did not know where to place himself.

“Masaki, dear, place yourself behind him, show me he's yours” the photographer started to have fun and Sho wondered where that guy had come from. So suddenly, Aiba hugged his waist to put his hand inside the opened shirt and his free one grabbed Sho's jaw to raise his head a bit. Then, the rector got more tense and he stayed still as a rock.

“Grab my forearms” he suddenly spoke and Sakurai did it, feeling better, and slowly a nose touched his neck. “Sho…” he muttered, so when the rector turned his head to see what he wanted, abruptly, the flash of the camera hit them. When he came back to Earth, his body was filled with adrenaline.

“That was a trap!” he yelled at his partner who smiled shyly.

“You were so tense-“

“Oh my God! You're amazing!” the man spoke, approaching like a rocket to show them the photo. “Sakurai, just follow him, forget I'm here with a camera. You look beautiful together, here's the proof!” indeed, Sho widened his eyes when he saw the photo, it was superb.

“Come here” Masaki played with him. They returned to the position, but this time the shirt was falling from his shoulder as Aiba grabbed his jaw to make him show his neck and be able to rub the tip of his nose all along his skin. This time the flash came several times as he went up. And the photographer kept saying words to encourage them, what made him feel at ease there.

Slowly, they ended up on a sofa, having Aiba over him, but they decided to stop as long as he was really nervous so Masaki sat and placed him over his legs, facing each other and his hands were slipped inside his shirt on his shoulders to lower it until leaving it behind his waist, just being held by his wrists. Then, Aiba placed his lifeless hands around his neck and they kept looking at each other so he would relax his back as long as it was going to be all in that photo. After, Sho lay down again, placing Aiba over his naked torso, wanting to take revenge and get to do it. So he closed his eyes and imagined they were back in that house, on that sofa.

“I love this one!” the photographer was thrilled and Aiba laughed what provoked Sho's smile too and they looked at each other. “More, please!!” he continued and the couple continued. Finally, he could forget where he was to focus only on Aiba and his wonderful smile. Then, after having done dozens of photos, the man told them to change clothes and those were simple trousers with warm sweaters, like a normal couple. So the photos looked more natural, closer, warmer. Sho was really loving the second part because they could just place the head of one of them over the other's shoulder and have a photo. Or simply holding hands was already cute enough. Then, after other dozens of photos, the photographer called Masaki. “I never ask you this, but can you kiss?” he asked embarrassed and Aiba nodded turning around, but Sho seemed as panicking.

“Kissing?! Aren't there already too many photos?!” he stopped him with his hands, but Aiba was already hugging his lower back.

“They aren't going to use them, I just want to see how they look” the model muttered with a soft smile, which calmed him.

“Okay, but small…” he accepted, regretting it at the next second when they put their foreheads together and the flash started to appear. But Aiba did not care.

“So small, come…” Masaki invited him and one of the rector's hands touched his jaw softly before pressing his lips against Aiba's. Falling in his claws, he tilted his head a bit to deepen it and trap his lower lip, biting it slightly before separating. They looked at each other, wanting to continue, but the photographer was shouting happily and they just followed him to check all the photos.

Indeed, the more he saw, the more he loved it. Sho ended up not regretting having done that at all, because the result had been gorgeous. Especially the first ones and the kiss ones. He was so in love he wanted to put them in their house. And Aiba looked as having winning the battle against him regarding if that would be a good idea. “You could be model too, Sakurai. You have a very good expression” the man commented while choosing the photos.

“I don't think so, I’m made to be between papers” he giggled embarrassed, but the man looked at them.

“You know… I never get into my models' lives unless they want, but it's the first time I see a gay couple with your range who decide to continue this after being caught” he spoke with serious face. “I won't be the first who will invite you. This will be a boom. In good and bad side” he warned them, kind of checking if they were sure about publishing the photos.

“I think we don't have to hide” Aiba simply said and held Sho's hand sweetly. The photographer smiled then, nodding and having everyone back to work, the magazine would be published next month.

“Then, I think we're done here, remember you have it this evening” he told Aiba, who nodded with a smile and they said goodbye, walking slowly through the hallways to go and have lunch together.

“What do you think?” suddenly, Masaki asked and Sho sighed.

“You're amazing” he answered. “You’re a pro on it… I'm shocked how hard it is and how good you do it” the rector continued flattering him until Aiba stopped him flushed and embarrassed.

“Let's just have lunch, please” he said while grabbing his hand and dragged him to the cafeteria in the editorial. Obviously Sho smiling widely.

*****

A month after, Sho was still handling some troubles parents had with his sexual condition, but after all it was not a big deal. It seemed like the more he exposed without prejudices, the more people ignored it. So he just continued being a rector in the mornings and just a boyfriend in the nights beside Aiba in the bed. But especially that day, right after arriving to the university, he had some girls already murmuring cutely about him, which was unusual, that only happened with Aiba when he came. Also, when he crossed the teachers hallway, a few of them approached him with a magazine in their hands.

“The photos are incredible, sir!” they highlighted that detail, because he grabbed one, not remembering today was when it was going to be sold, and he was shocked by how well the cover looked with that first photo. Then, he opened it to watch the rest while hearing them.

“But we really love your boyfriend's interview, and the photos on it!” they nodded, as if everyone was agreeing, but Sho did not know what they were talking about, so he frowned and went to search for it. What he found was all the second photoshoot in two pages, being small around a long interview Masaki gave. About him. And at the end of it, he found a square with three photos while they were kissing.

“Excuse me, but can I take it for read it? I'll return it to you after” he asked for it and the teacher nodded without a problem, so maybe that's why everyone was so weird. He went to his office and [started to read it](https://sukarideepsoul.livejournal.com/53075.html), being more and more startled by what Aiba was saying. His eyes were reading it fast speed to read it all back the needed times because sometimes he felt his heart as melting. Then, he opened a drawer and grabbed a small box there, putting it into his jacket pocket. But he reached the last question and it was still hard for him remembering those months of hard frustration and desperation. So not wanting to read it again, he closed the magazine and came out to return it back, with the surprise of finding Aiba there, talking with one of his old teachers nicely.

“Have you read it?” he asked excitedly with brilliant eyes and Sho nodded with a calm smile. “Are you angry?” Aiba smiled wilder when he got another nod and followed him as a good kid.

“You told me the kiss photos were for us” he said after closing the door, being bothered for that indeed.

“I thought that too, but they are so cute to keep them only for us” he turned around and sat on the back of an armchair. “Also… did you like the interview?” His hand grabbed his tie to approach him while pouting to see if he could avoid the scolding. But Sho was already knowing his play.

“I loved it. Especially a part” he tilted his head a bit, approaching to put Aiba nervous.

“Which one?” his smile seemed calm while his hands were fixing the neck of his shirt and jacket.

“You’d like to marry me” he spoke softly, observing how that smile disappeared and that nervousness was shared between them.

“Yes, that question was…”

“I hope it's true because…” suddenly, he put a knee on the floor and grabbed that small box from his jacket to open it in front of Aiba. “Would you marry me?” he asked while looking at Aiba who covered his mouth.

“This-“ he tried not to cry. “Just stand up!” he obligated the rector to stand up and caressed his cheek. “When did you get it? It's impossible you have read the magazine and have bought it in one hour we've been separated” Aiba dried one tear falling. Sho decided to tell him the truth.

“I bought them on December to ask you during our winter holidays” he confessed, watching the surprise in his face. “But I wasn't ready, I didn't know if everything was okay between us yet and I didn’t know your answer anymore… So I decided to wait for a sign telling me you would accept” he explained with low voice and bittersweet smile. Masaki closed his eyes and hugged his neck tightly so Sakurai closed the box and hugged his torso while rubbing his back.

“I'd have said yes back then as I say yes now, Sho” he spoke crying by happiness and he got to separate a bit so their lips would find each other softly.

“Let me…” he broke the hug to open the box and grab the ring to place it in his finger, showing the simply design as if it was the best ring.

“I love it…” he touched it while being mesmerized and Sho rubbed his hair sweetly. “I will buy you one too” Masaki informed him with an excited smile, leaving Sho speechless.

“Why would you-?”

“I want you to wear a ring in this finger” he grabbed his hand, “so everyone will know you're very taken…” he bit his lower lip naughtily. Sakurai could only giggle and say it was not needed, but in the end Aiba won, so having left tired there, Sho had to continue to work after Masaki went to the editorial too.

Days after, as the photographer told them, they received tons of offers to appear in magazines. Aiba knew which ones were worth it to do so he convinced Sho to do them, always ending up begging him, saying he would give him all he wanted, obviously turning out Sakurai paid those favours as special sexual games he loved to do. Also, Aiba finally bought Sho a ring and even if they were not married, they inscribed them as family so at least their relationship would be recognized in hospitals or life insurances.

Not only Aiba, who ended up being a great entertainer in TV shows, but also Sho became popular by doing photoshoots together and spreading correct messages in his university which ended up being covers in newspapers and appearing in news. They became references to erase the taboo related to LGTB+ and important figures who talked about it freely in public, not being ashamed or hurt by the people who still were against it.

Regarding the university, Sho did some changes which helped everyone to know more about the subject so slowly, his students were more self-conscious about it because mainly, the hate towards it appeared from the ignorance of it because no one dared or dedicated their time to explain things properly. Thanks to his projects, more schools asked for his help to follow them and his popularity grew up positively, always thanks to the man who pushed him forwards in the shadows.

And then, another year went by, full of work, difficult decisions, hard moments, but full of happiness, good vibes and love between the couple, who decided to go to their winter house those Christmas holidays too. Especially on Aiba's birthday, Sho usually did a surprise for him and this year he had really risked all he had, knowing it was going to be a good idea.

“Happy 26th birthday, Masaki” he spoke while leaving a small cake on the table before sitting beside him. His partner was already picking cream with a finger to eat it, but after, he caught more to offer it to Sho, whose nose ended up stained. “Do you want to play?” he spoke before taking revenge and staining his cheek too. They, somehow, lay down on the sofa, Sho over Aiba who was trying to stop his hand full of cream.

“Sho! No, please! You win, you win!” he gave up while laughing strongly. Sakurai only ate half of it, staining his lips softly before kissing them to clean them up. “Well… You can continue this…” the younger man clarified and Sho giggled as he sat again to clean his hands and face with a cloth. “Now, cake-!”

“Wait a second!” he grabbed his hand and turned him to be facing each other. “I want to talk with you” suddenly, the rector spoke and Aiba's expression changed drastically.

“The last time you said that, we-“

“No! No, really, let me end” he smiled sweetly to calm him and kissed his lips to reassure that sudden fear inside of him. “We’re never original with our birthday's gifts. You always give me underwear. I always give you underwear…” they laughed.

“We have millions…” he commented amused.

“Indeed… Exactly because of that, I thought about other thing” Sho spoke nervously. “Don’t you think there's something missing here, with us?” his question made Aiba frown and he looked around, searching for it, what became hilarious for Sakurai who stopped him. “Don’t search for it, because it's this” he took a folder with papers inside and handed it to Aiba.

“Papers?” he opened them and started to read them. Right at the next second, he looked up with tears in his eyes. “They are the first documents for starting an adoption” he muttered filled with surprise. Sho just nodded, not knowing too well what to say.

“I've just been informing myself about how we can do it and the requirements. It's not immediate, we can wait if you don't feel ready or even if you don't want a child yet. It's oka-“

“Are you stupid?!” he exclaimed, drying the few tears which were falling. “Having a child running around this house, even in Tokyo's house, would be like fulfilling my dream with you” he sobbed at the end and Sakurai grabbed the folder to leave it over the table and hug him, handling his wet eyes as he could.

“Am I your dream?” he asked, realizing that small detail.

“Since the first time I met you” Masaki sobbed as he hid his face against his neck, tightening the hug as much as possible. Until the model realized it and dried his eyes. “I’m sorry, so sorry, I'm just too shocked-“

“Hey! Don't say sorry! It's okay, I'm really happy you want it too” his thumbs dried his cheeks and pecked his lips. “Boy or girl?” he asked to make a joke and light up the mood a bit.

“I’d love a boy to show him sports constantly” he laughed and they both placed their heads on the sofa back.

“I'd love a girl” Sho said with embarrassed voice and they laughed together. Then, Aiba approached and leaned his head over his shoulder, his hand touching his torso and Sho hugging his back.

“There’s no other choice… We will adopt two” he younger man joked, but Sakurai frowned.

“That's good” he answered seriously and looked at Aiba who had an expression of bewilderment. “Why not?” he shrank his shoulders when Aiba raised his head while blinking frenetically.

“Let’s do steps, Sho. We haven't started even with the first one” he giggled and Sakurai grabbed his leg to place it on the other side, leaving Aiba sat over him. And then, he removed his sweater.

“First step then…” he threw it on the floor as Aiba tried to stop him.

“We're talking about our future children” his face seemed shocked with a big smile.

“And how do you think kids are done?” Sakurai removed his own sweater and kissed his neck softly.

“And the cake? We should-“

“Don’t worry, you will be my plate”

“Oh my-!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _//WHO WANTS AN EPILOGUE OF THE EPILOGUEEEEE. I HAVE IDEAAAAAS AJJAJAJAJAJAA OKNO. This needs to stop. 21k words more were like the longuest epilogue ever, so I should just fuck off from here xD_  
>  Well, just saying I have an epilogue in mind but it may get too much lol  
> So I hope you've liked this part too! And that this story will be good enough to end their story 💚❤

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! After months of work, I've finally finished one of my favourite one-shots of Sakuraiba I've ever written! The idea was very simple and I have no idea of how I could develop it that much. The plot isn't that amazing, but it ended up being a nice story to read I think and I hope you've enjoyed it!
> 
> The ending was kind of weird/bittersweet on purpose because I have in mind an epilogue, but I want to see first how you like it and if it's worthy to be written (although I already think it is because T-T), but well you decide!
> 
> Said this, I hope you enjoyed this 50k words one-shot which is a monster having thought it would only have 20k lol
> 
> See ya!


End file.
